By Sir Hardly Anyone
According to Goonersden, and currently the top story on the Goonernews.com news accumulator site
Done- Benzema Completes Medicals, Welcome To The Emirates
“Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is planning a major title push next season and the boss is aware of the need to bring in only the best in the summer to achieve his target.
“This reports is according to the Metro, Arsene Wenger long time target Karim Benzema is expected to join Arsenal today from Spanish side Real Madrid, Reports says Benzema will fly in today to complete his Medicals.
“Arsenal have been negotiating for the transfer of the Spanish International for a while now, Arsenal initial bid of £30.5million was rejected by the Spanish giant, Arsenal have now tabled a fresh bid of £40.5 million to push the move through and reports suggest the offer has tempted Madrid in selling the clinical finisher.
“Although previous reports suggest Arsenal’s hopes of signing Benzema from Real Madrid has been dismissed by the boss, as Wenger has moved to disregard every speculation that the striker is on his way to the Emirates after last weekend’s Community Shield press conference.
“But now that seems to be in the past as Daily Telegraph reports that Real Madrid are expecting the Frenchman to make the move to the Emirates before the close of the transfer window.”
So that isn’t actually a done deal is it? He hasn’t actually signed has he?
The first thing to notice is that this story is verified apparently by a story in the Metro which appeared on, oh, 3 August which reads
“Arsenal have been given a boost in the hunt for Karim Benzema with Real Madrid expecting him to join the Gunners, according to reports.
“Benzema, who has apparently been subject of two bids from Arsenal for the player this summer, is Arsene Wenger’s top transfer target.
“And after Spanish outlet AS said a £45.8million deal is being talked over, the Daily Telegraph reports that Madrid are expecting the Frenchman to join Arsenal before the transfer window shuts.
“The paper goes on to say that the Benzema saga could go right until the end of the transfer window.”
OK so Goonersden.com published an article yesterday which took us to a week old article in the Metro which quoted a story in the Telegraph. Looking a bit fishy, not to say old.
So what did the Telegraph say?
“Real Madrid are resigned to losing Karim Benzema to Arsenal this summer, and have already began targetting replacements for the French striker.
“According to The Metro, Arsenal will break their transfer record to sign the player for a fee in the region of £50 million.
“Despite an impressive scoring record while at the Bernabeu, it is believed Real are willing to lt him go, and would look to replace him with one of Alvaro Morata, Fernando Llorente, and Sergio Aguero.”
Now that is rather odd, because the Telegraph is taking us back to an even earlier story in the Metro.
So let me get this right. Goonersden is citing a week old story in the Metro which sites a story in the Telegraph which cites a story in the Metro.
So let’s see what the update is…
Today the Metro is running this story
Karim Benzema ‘has transfer offer on table to join Arsenal’
The story tells us…
“Karim Benzema reportedly has an offer on the table to leave Real Madrid for Arsenal this summer.
“The Frenchman has been strongly linked with a move to the Emirates, with the calls for him to be signed intensifying in the wake of Arsenal’s opening-day defeat to West Ham.
“And according to reports, the 27-year-old already has an offer to join Arsenal, and will now need to decide where his future lies.”
That suggests no transfer, and still no medical as promised in the first headline, but let’s see where these “reports” lead to…
Well it is actually a story in donbalon:
Los cinco nombres de Rafa Benítez para cubrir una salida de Karim Benzema
which roughly translates as “The five names Rafa Benitez is considering to cover the departure of Karim Benzema.”
But here’s the thing – that story is dated 3 August. We are still stuck in that time warp.
So then I went a-looking. The Soccer aspects site looked to have the answer with “CONFIRMED: Gunners have complete another summer transfer!” but in fact their story is “As the Mirror reports Wolverhampton Wanderers have reached an agreement with Gunners to sign goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez on loan.”
But surely this will hit the mark, also from SoccerAspects
BREAKING: Arsenal have £42.5 million bid for World Class star accepted!
French star has been heavily linked with a move away from Santiago Bernabeu this summer.
However, Los Blancos are reluctant to sell forward, but Wenger thinks a big fee plus a huge wage will make Benzema arrive in London before the summer transfer window closes.
Benzema signed a 6-year contract with Los Blancos for a fee of €35 million in 2009. He is believed to be one of the best forwards on the planet. Benzema has scored 15 league goals this season for Real Madrid, only bettered by Cristiano Ronaldo at the club, but after joining six years ago he may be tempted for a new adventure.
According to the latest reports Real Madrid star Karim Benzema is ready to join Arsenal for £42.5 million.
And you are just as bad as the rest,
With your headline ?
Giving the false impression ??
Fatboy if you are going to write in please at least try to be original. Or if you really don’t know what and who we are, take a look before you complain
Metro & Telegraph are now saying Cavani.
Make up mind time!
I do wish they’d push the “Aguero to Real Madrid” angle instead. And throw in Costa to Real Madrid for good measure.
Fatboy gooney
It’s annoying, but you’ll get used to it (or go bonkers )
Isnt all this coming through ESPN? One of the presenters has been tweeting all sorts of rumours at least until a couple of dayas ago.I cracked up laughing as this article popped up on NNa agg. And I knew what it would be saying!!! Keep going Sir Hardly!
I remember 6 years back…i saw people writting on a wall with chalk(with diferent kind of color and different rabish ideas) and I want to tell them it is bad thing to write on the wall…so i broght chalk and i was about to write this on the wall “please dont write on the wall.” but before i wrote it something click on my mind….”you are going to write on the wall, so what is the difference between you and the others” so i stopped it. To conclude it you are the same ….
we are tird of rumour oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I clicked on this ‘Headline’ from you because I’ve seen this misleading headline and then looked that it was your page, so I knew that this would be an article exposing them (to anyone that accuses Untold of misleading).
As for these sites, they are scum and don’t believe a word they say’
‘Arsenal complete transfer of Spanish/French/German etc. star, will always be a youth player joining or a nobody going out on loan.
This is what they resort to – before we signed Cech there was a site running a ‘Cech photo proof that he has signed for Arsenal in new Arsenal kit’, this is before we had signed Cech and it was infact Cechs head plonked on one of our other goalies bodies lol.
They are parasites, Goonersden, By Far the Greatest Team, Ohtobeagooner, scum the lot of them.
Sunday it was ‘Benzema spotted in London, to complete medicals today’ (this was on a Sunday, the same Sunday as matchday lol). That was 2 days ago and guess what? Benzema is nowhere to be seen, infact, the same sites are saying ‘Wenger targets Cavani as he gives up on Benzema’, strange for someone thats apparently in London doing a medical.
Just stick to BBC Sport, Sky Sports and ofc Arsenal.com regarding transfers.
Here, for the uninitiated or those deficient in the art of reading news stories and blogettas, are the rules for verifying IF a story or rumour is just that or more:
1)If it appears in any UK paper, blog other than UA or from someone’s e-mail,on twitter or a facebook page……IGNORE it!
2)If it is in an article written by Sir Hardly, HAVE a LAUGH then IGNORE it!
3)If it comes from Spain,the UK or Italy, or any similarly questionable source…..IGNORE it!
4)IF it appears on Arsenal.com……then it is TRUE…..simple isn’t it!!!
With headlines like these, how can we ever know when Arsenal genuinely make that world class signing?
welcome brother
The first publisher I hid on NewsNow was the Metro, they are just junk.
They were quickly followed by anyone who uses headlines such as “Arsenal weighing up £22m bid to sign Manchester United target” or “Arsenal eyeing big money bid for South American hitman” – both of which are current hidden headlines – if they don’t use the player name, then they go on ignore.
I don’t mind gossip, it’s often fun to dream, but those publications are just click whoring and I’m not going to give them the benefit of advertising revenue from me.
If you are curious, then one way of seeing who they are talking about without clicking is to copy/paste the headline into Google, as that will show the first few lines of the article.
We need benzema plz,
I agree with fatboy gooner. Ur current headlines make u no better than the other click baits that you are trying to expose. You have done similar expose without resorting to such headlines. Pls keep up those standards
And yet nobody arrived… Cool news great rubbish, mind crush. What an irresponsibility journalism today we have.
Since when was he a Spanish international is what i would like to know
HARRY KANE’S SHOCK TRANSFER TO REAL MADRID FREES FUNDS FOR NEW SPURS STADIUM !!
An exclusive by Parlovs Dogg.
Imaginary bells keep going off in in my head , that sets my stomach churning that the soon to be announced transfer of Harry Kane to Real Madrid will start a striker merry go round . A reported fee of 60 Million Pounds , should also get the owners or Tottenham Hotspurs salivating and howling , as they hunger for fresh funds for their new stadium.
Real Madrid are hoping to off load their third choice French striker Karim Benzema to Arsenal , even though their manager , Arsene Wenger , feels that his squad’s bite is good enough and is not looking for reinforcements .He still feels there is no need to ring the changes ,even though the Gunners are second from bottom.
Arsenal do not have to pay a cent as this deal is being underwritten by their second largest shareholder, Alisher Usmanov , the Russian terrier , who had hinted as such in a recent interview . Usmanov has always believed that FFP would fail and with this move , gives it his pudgy middle finger , and pisses on UEFA .
And at the same time he has fulfilled his promise to those ‘them’ Arsenal fans who constantly bark and burp at the club to spend some fucking money. They felt that their cat calls and whistling had fallen on the deaf ears of the scrooge major shareholder , ‘silent’ Stan Kroenke.
The Real fans are also salivating at the prospect of having a three prong (or trident , or fork, if prongs are not you thing !) attack , with Kane in the centre , with CR7 and Bale cutting in from the wings . This strike force should finally prod Real to the title, and satiate their hunger pangs for more success, and the chance to sit on the main table.
This now only leaves the Spuds . Who replaces Kane as their primary goal scorer ? The answer was always there – Emmanuel Adebayor ! True , he’s been a bad boy , but after a stint with Cesar Millian ‘s dog pack , he is raring to go and pulling at the leash . And to fetch , and sit , and roll over , and heel, and sniff out the half chances and also play dead to get penalties !
Does this ring a bell ? Does it get your juices flowing ? Or do you feel nauseous , or a burning sensation in the pit of your gut and the urge to regurgitate ? Will the Spuds fans swallow this and’or still be able to stomach all this ?
Barfing ….sorry baffling isn’t it ?
Down , boy !
wenger is a very stuborn manager that doesnt listen to advice. our lengths parlour and henry advice he should sign world class stricker ,but he proving adamant. with groud arsenal cant win tittle he is a slugish prayer
Many supporters of our great Club (including me) are simply not interested in whether Benzema becomes an Arsenal player.
All our present concerns involve the immediate future of our No.3 goalie Martinez,
Imagine our delight to read one of today’s headlines “ARSENAL COMPLETES TRANSFER OF 6ft2in DEFENSIVE STAR”. Hoping against hope that it didn’t refer to some dreary new signing, in preference to our hero Martinez going out on loan somewhere (like the Midlands), we were not disappointed. He’s on loan to Wolves!!!!
It just goes to show that the headline writers are sometimes spot on in their craft. 😉
Two frightening things. First that people like “fatboygooner” don`t appreciate irony and second that despite all your criticism these Naff headlines still occur.
Like one of your earlier respondents,I saw your headline and then saw your Untold name and realised straight away that you would be quite rightly taking the P..s!
If you have to explain a joke, there aint no point, they still won`t get it
Keep trying, even though you`re banging your head against a brick-wall.
Third frightening thing is that these are Arsenal fans who “don`t understand”. If they were spuds, fair enough, stupidity is a qualification there
Again, keep trying lads
How many does it take to sign a player? For more than two weeks now, Benzima has been in arsenal medical.
Am just tied of the whole rumour.
we are tired of the rumours…
Benzema in the medical room for the last two days???
Walter might have something to say about this, I suppose.
On the subject of all things medical, hope that lady doctor takes Chelsea for every penny she will win in a lawsuit for acting in a professional manner and having half of her job taken away as a result. Not her fault Jose encourages players to feign injury.
Say what ? – Jumping the gun .
There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.
Another Saturday night came around. At about 7pm., there was a knock on the door. He answered and the young man said, “Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. I’m taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?”
The farmer thought he was a clever boy and wished them a good time.
A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second boy appeared and said, “Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m here for Betty. I’m taking her for spaghetti. I hope she’s ready.”
He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes.
A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard. “Hi, I’m Chuck…”
That was when the farmer shot him.
In China this joke changes the names , and the last guy says , ” Hi I’m Liew ….”
That’s when the farmer shot him.
( Tiew or Thiew is the Chinese word for fuck . Just being helpful .)
And in more China news , the local papers are all screaming , ‘ARSENE WENGER GIVEN GO AHEAD TO SIGN CHINESE PHENOM !’
Apparently AW has been told by the Arsenal board to go ahead and sign the latest Chinese sensation.
The youngster’s talent was recently spotted by some shrewd judges and they were all so amazed at the skill exhibited , that they have ranked the phenom as their number yuan…., sorry ,number one pick.
The agents of many famous clubs have descended upon the sensation’s home to get the much sought after signature. This youngster is their chosen one to bring balance to the force.
AW who speaks many languages ,including Chinese , has spoken to the parents and has convinced them that their child is exactly what he is looking for and is so very right for Arsenal and their demanding fans . He feels that this new acquisition will pacify and calm the savage beasts that are ‘them’ .
He plans to unleash the power of the youngster ,who is now a you tube sensation , at the next home game .If ever the crowd gets restless or unruly ,especially if Arsenal is trailing , he plans to introduce the youngster and lull them into a comfortable sense of peaceful somnolence and hebetude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EptKTBQqnwY