By Sir Hardly Anyone
Of course it has been a great honour indeed to be awarded the right to publish the regular Official Arsenal Transfer List each week. Being “official” doesn’t in any way mean that the list is actually “official”, any more than a “£50m centre forward deal done, contract signed” headline means that a centre forward from somewhere has done a deal to sign for Arsenal for £50m.
No, not at all. For these are what we journalist types call “words”.
The new game in town is to spin out a zero story with zero facts with resumes. This week they are
Resume 1:
Arsenal are expected to strengthen their squad in the summer after struggling in the race for the Premier League title this season and suffering their first FA Cup defeat in over two years, having not signed a single outfield player last summer.
Resume 2:
The Gunners moved to bring in defensive midfielder Mohamed Elneny from FC Basle,
Resume 3:
The fans are getting restless
Resume 4:
But Arsenal could face competition for his services from European heavyweights in Real Madrid and Juventus.
Resume 5:
Make mine a double would you?
So, let’s start off our words today with SoccerTransfers.net who have the headline
1: Done Deal–Bayern Munich Target Agrees Long Term Arsenal Deal, To Earn£180,000-A-Week
And the story is…
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Well, I think we can all agree with that.
Next….
2: Arsenal transfer news: Hijack for top Man Utd target, 22-goal striker approach, class CM eyed up
This is from the Metro and tells us that
Arsene Wenger has made Alvaro Morata his top summer striker target, but Arsenal will have to negotiate their way through a complicated deal to land the Spaniard.
3. If they are British they are most certainly leaving Arsenal
That is the story in the anti-EU campaigning Daily Mail which tells us Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Kieran Gibbs, Calum Chambers and Carl Jenkinson are all going to leave while the Metro helpfully adds “the Gunners’ domestic scouts have been instructed to identify new British talent, particularly players aged under 23.”
It’s understood Kieran Gibbs is the most likely to leave the club this summer after losing his place to Nacho Monreal in Arsene Wenger’s starting XI.
Also the “news” (I use the word lightly) is that Southampton desperate to seal transfer of Arsenal star Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, will make him their highest-paid player. That’s from the Metro.
Interestingly, if they were all to go we would have to buy home grown talent under Premier League rules.
4: Arsenal are reportedly looking into a possible transfer move for Benfica striker Kostas Mitroglou.
The 28-year-old has been on loan in Portugal this season from parent club Fulham, and has impressed with 22 goals in all competitions.
However, A Bola – which is a Portuguese web site rather than a rather nasty disease, reports that despite Arsenal asking about him, no official bid has been made, and that the Greece international is close to sealing a permanent move to the Portuguese giants.
Mitroglou recent goal tallies are reported, showing 22 goals in 39 games this season and this makes interesting reading since in the rather more difficult Premier League and associated competitions this year he has scored 20 in 42. So not much difference despite a harder challenge.
Mitroglou did play for Fulham, making three appearances and failing to score as the club were relegated in 2013/14. But the Metro says, his record in other European leagues shows he could at least be a decent squad player for the Gunners, who are short of options up front.
5: Arsenal are ready to hijack Manchester United’s transfer move for Benfica star Renato Sanches, reports say.
Now this one is interesting because it is a “race” no less to sign the quality 18-year-old, who according to the Daily Mail has enjoyed an incredible breakthrough season.
And Arsenal sent scouts to watch him play on Saturday
6: It’s the whole team that needs transmogrifying
Arsenal manager Wenger wants to rebuild the spine of his team at the end of this season and is determined to land a top-class striker says the Telegraph.
And specifically it’s Morata who apparently we wanted two years ago and now want again and who anyway was wanted in point 2 above.
Sources in Spain claim Real Madrid intend to exercise their £23million buy-back clause to re-sign Morata from Juventus, but then want to sell him on at a profit. Morata has scored 25 goals in 87 appearances over his two seasons at Juve and Wenger believes he would fit into his team perfectly.
Of course we have heard that one before, but now we are told…
Juve are prepared to fight to try to keep Morata and Wenger may be forced to wait to see if Real can re-sign him before making a move of his own. … A good relationship between Arsenal and Real exists from the deal that saw Mesut Ozil move to London three years ago.
7: Bye bye Theo
Arsenal would be prepared to listen to offers for Walcott at the end of this season, but his current £140,000-a-week contract will still have three years to run.
8: Granit Xhaka yawn yawn
Really, this story has been round so many times that papers that broke the story the first time and now reduced to breaking it again.
9: Kostas Manolas,
Arsenal could challenge Chelsea for Roma’s defender Kostas Manolas, who he considered signing two years ago. Chelsea remain favourites to land Manolas and it is understood new head coach Antonio Conte has already sounded out the agent of the Greece international.
10: Bye bye everyone
Mikel Arteta, Mathieu Flamini and Tomas Rosicky are sure to go. Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Kieran Gibbs up for grabs.
11: Rodrigo Bentancur
The Independent say this 18 year old from Boca Juniors is the real deal. Other than that they are just writing the resumes.
Arsenal scouts were in attendance for Boca’s 3-1 victory over Bolivar last Thursday with Bentancur their main interest although he only came off the substitutes’ bench with five minutes remaining, and subsequently were in attendance as he played the opening 40 minutes against Tigres last night before being replaced by Fernando Gago. The Independent
12: Mesut signs a new contract.
The story goes on for about five yards but that is more or less all it says.
13: Arsenal On The Verge Of Signing €31m Rated Per Mertesacker Replacement
According to goal.com, reported by “The Sports Columnits” PSG defender Marquinhos has agreed personal terms with Barcelona ahead of a summer move to the Catalans. This report was about two weeks ago. However, today, Arsenal are been linked to the signing of the Brazilian which probably means the goal.com report are not true.
Now this is getting cheeky. A bloggetta having a go at goal.com. Well!
According to a report by the SUN today, both Arsenal and Manchester United are interested in signing the versatile defender and will push hard for this signature once the transfer window is open. The Brazilian have fallen down the pecking order at PSG this season and is said to be frustrated at the way manager Laurent Blanc keeps playing him out of position.
Apparently Per Mertesacker is “not getting younger”
14: Zaza and Morata together.
Juventus have slapped a £24m price tag on the head of Simone Zaza, (he said “ow”) according to Tuttosport, spotted by TalkSprout spotted by All Arsenal.
Zaza has struggled for game time behind Morata, Paulo Dybala, and even Mario Mandzukic this season, which would understandably have him considering his future. If Morata is headed towards the exit then Zaza could reconsider things, but at the moment you wouldn’t blame him for seeking a move elsewhere.
You couldn’t make it up.
Actually someone just did.
———————
- Come and meet ex-Arsenal player and Arsenal scout Danny Karbassiyoon on 25 April
- The task facing the next manager: tactics, referees and candidates review
- The task facing the next manager, what he has to achieve, and how can he do it?
Untold Arsenal has published five books on Arsenal – all are available as paperback and three are now available on Kindle. The books are
- The Arsenal Yankee by Danny Karbassiyoon with a foreword by Arsene Wenger.
- Arsenal: the long sleep 1953 – 1970; a view from the terrace. By John Sowman with an introduction by Bob Wilson.
- Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football. By Tony Attwood, Andy Kelly and Mark Andrews.
- Making the Arsenal: a novel by Tony Attwood.
- The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal by Mark Andrews.
You can find details of all five on our new Arsenal Books page
Another useless article. Frankly speaking nobody bothers to read all this crap.UA ais supposed to be a place of true and serious reading and not this kind of giberish.Kindly stop publishing these baseless tranfer rumors which the writer himself doesnt believs in.
Maybe we can have a voting by thr readers if they want to read these baseless transfer rumors.
‘Maybe we can have a voting by thr readers if they want to read these baseless transfer rumors.”
Already done some months ago, and believe it or not the readers voted to keep it going.
Consistency would appear to be the name of the game when the Summer Transfer Window becomes ajar….at least according to Sir Hardly.
Those who do not fulfil this criterion will depart to other fields.
The war chest will overflow to a degree not seen before. And there’s the rub. One would hope that a more pragmatic approach will be made towards transfer costs.
For once, the policy of setting the Club’s own value of a player and then attempting to negotiate a signing solely on that basis, should be discarded.
Acceptance that escalating fees and wages of available players, however unsatisfactory, is inevitable……at least until that particular bubble bursts.
If a certain player needs signing in order to strengthen the squad, then the current market price will need to be paid.
Arsenal FC cannot continue to stand
idly by on the moral high ground and get left behind by its rivals who prefer to deal with reality.
Rosicky, I understand your point, it would be better to stick to serious football stuff, and 99% of these rumours are completely baseless, and not worthy of our attention.
But imo the AAA and the AWOBs use this crap to rubbish the team they’re supposed to support, and use it as a stick to beat AW.
“if we’d have bought Benzema, Schneiderlein, Carvalho, Cavani, Higuaín, Schweinesteiger, Hummel, the Bender twins etc etc ….. we’d have won the EPL CL etc. Because we didn’t buy them it shows Wenger has no ambition etc etc
Players have to be available (i.e. their clubs prepared to sell), the price has to be reasonable, and the player has to be a positive addition to the squad. And if it’s a player costing mega bucks to buy + mega bucks salary they have to be a supernova addition.
I keep seeing Ibrahimovic’s name mentioned as a possible “signing” – at his age and with a salary north of £400K p.w. will he be the difference to win the EPL?? I don’t think so
COYG
Barry L
Tks for the agreement but can v convince Walter and Tony to stop publishing this comedy series?
Some people miss the meaning of a ‘Sense of humour’. Look at the name of the author!
Funny that some of the players rumoured are disgruntled by lack of game time at their current club (or not good enough) but supposedly good enough for Arsenal.
Some people like this type of humour and therefore find the article funny.
I don’t find it funny or amusing. Does this mean I don’t have a sense of humour. If so, then I don’t like music because you see I don’t like jazz.
I don’t like the type of humour that is based on stupidity. It just doesn’t appeal to me. I am sure there are those who do so for them I am sure this is a good read.
Yes this a place for serious discussion but why not have something light hearted from time to time.
I don’t respect the media wonnthingers on the subject of football because of the type of ‘news’ they spout has no foundation to it. In other words it is lightweight. This type of article turns their lightweight spoutings into light hearted spoutings.
Some like people this type of humour, so for them publish it.
If you don’t like it, don’t read it.
Some one asked if the PMGOL had ever apologised to Arsene.
I recall that when Arsene was sent off at Manure Land for kicking a plastic bottle. The PMGOL did claim that they had apologised to Mr Wenger for this.
Just come from the BBC football page. (I went there for tonight’s results.
The web page has it that the ‘tin pot’ cup is important for manure.
Are we surprised at this change of attitude to the FA cup? Of we are not. We expected it once we were out of it.
Off Topic – Just watched Atletico v Barca & saw the most amazing officiating. Following a breakaway, the ball was passed across Barcas penalty area to an AM player but Iniesta intercepted with a hand. There was a clear goal scoring opportunity. Penalty but no card!!! These bastard officials sent our GK off in the CL but will not book a Barca player. It is truly a shameful exhibition of bent officiating watching what seems to be passed off as refereeing.
I looked at the article on the U21 game against Swansea. That game starts about 1300 hours London time. That’s like 5 or 6am here. Nothing like getting an early start. I sure hope those young gunners win tomorrow.
Oh well, seeing as we are dealing with rumours. I think I seen a rumour that the Korowai tribe of SE Papua would like to trade 50 kg of sago flour for 😈 Mike Riley. Supposedly you can make pancakes from sago flour. Which would make it more useful than all of the PGMO put together.
@Menace,
Those last few minutes were crazy. Just for clarification, Iniesta did get a yellow card for the handball giving AM the penalty, but it should have been a red.
A few minutes after that, AM did get lucky when the ref ruled that their handball was outside the box, even though it was inside the box. Barcelona should have had a penalty instead of just a free kick and Gabi should have got a second yellow card.
Assuming Barcelona scores from the penalty, should have gone into extra time with both teams down to 10 men.
Jerry
Naturally Menace completely overlooked the Barca penalty claim because……..well we all know why don’t we! Glad Atletico won though.
News: Corruption and Sports Medicine
A Declan Hill (apparently Canadian) is/was in New Zealand, warning about game fixing. It seems both Canada and New Zealand are ripe for the picking.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11622487
Mentions a U16 game where 4 Million dollars was bet on the game. Doesn’t mention 😈 Mike Riley or the EPL.
—
From some of the articles referenced by Google News tonight (Canada time), Infantino is starting to sound familiar. Do you recognize the sound? (I’m clean, I’m clean)
—
Warmups
UCalgary came out with a study said to reduce injuries by 38%.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/soccer-injury-prevention-study-university-calgary-1.3534236
Article (referenced inside) is in British Journal of Sports Medicine. Research was done on 13-18 males and females.
I really and truly love these ‘Sir Hardly Anyone ‘ articles , Tony , as you thumb your nose at all that is stupid and moronic about the press and ostriches. As you know I really love a laugh or two and ‘them’ fools do keep me entertained !
As I don’t read my local newspapers ,neither listen to the news , nor read any other blogs or sites , I’m quite dependent on the regulars here , who enhance my knowledge in many ways . I trust that they won’t lead me down that slippery path to the Kool Aid shed !
Sometimes , for a moment , for just a moment see , I wonder why someone would
even bother to comment that they don’t like an article or that you should stop desist from posting such gems , or why they would keep on clicking the DISLIKE buttons ? Don’t they have to work , or something ?
Then I tell myself , ‘them’ pissers aren’t too bright and most probably not gainfully employed and spend much time at the dole office or at the pub , and then I feel much better !
My banner – SIR HARDLY ANYONE IS AWESOME !!!!
colario
One man’s stupidity is usually another man’s intelligece. 🙂
Speculation from the media regarding transfers is just that, speculation of what might be. Some of it is funny, some of it is possible, some not really in the realms of reality and some downright rubbish.
If I have a complaint , Tony , is that those boys working in the LIKE button Maintenance Dept aren’t doing their jobs properly !
The DISLIKE button for some strange reason, works just fine . Maybe too fine !
Anyway much LIKES for the contributions of the above posters –
@ nicky – April 13, 2016 at 6:17 pm –
@ BarryL -April 13, 2016 at 6:28 pm
@ Somerset Gooner – April 13, 2016 at 7:05 pm
@ Gunner6 – April 13, 2016 at 7:56 pm
@ colario – April 13, 2016 at 9:34 pm – and subsequent posts .
@ Menace – April 13, 2016 at 10:09 pm
@ Gord – April 13, 2016 at 10:32 pm and at 4:49 am
@ Jerry – April 13, 2016 at 11:32 pm –
Hope I have not missed any other significant contributors .
Nope !
And speaking of humour , pubs , newbies and fooling around ….
A tall, hefty BF ( Bloody Foreigner ) , new to the UK, stepped into a bar for a drink.
Unfortunately, the regulars in the bar had a habit of picking on strangers. When the BF finished his drink, he found that the bike he had parked outside had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, banged his fist on the table and yelled, “Which one of you bastards stole my bike?!?!?”
No one answered.
“Alright, I’m going to have another drink, and if my bike isn’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m going to do what I did in ***** (his hometown )! And I don’t like to have to do what I did in *****!” he said calmly.
Some of the regulars shifted restlessly. The BF, true to his word, had another drink, walked outside and found that his bike had been returned outside the bar. The BF started the bike to ride out.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Sir, before you go… What happened in ***** ?”
The BF turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
THE COMPLAINT –
? 42°+ temperature in many places…. some one wrote to Sun…
Dear Sun,
Please go to settings>display>brightness and lower your brightness! Please, its too hot to handle!
? The Sun’s reply…
I have not changed any settings. Please go to your settings and…
1. Increase number of trees…
2. Reduce carbon emissions levels…
3. Reduce concrete jungles…
4. Increase number of lakes…
Basically, switch to “Human Mode” from auto mode…!!!
@ para – April 14, 2016 at 5:40 am – LIKE . We must have been typing at the same time !
serge – I didn’t overlook anything. You are so assumptive & wrong. I swithed over to the Bayern game & missed the end of the Barca game. Thanks Jerry for your information. I didn’t catch the yellow for Iniesta because the camera showed Simeone doing a war dance.
Yesterday, we were offing £24 million for Xhaka – this morning it’s £35 million.
Hacks – the lot of them!
Rosicky
I think it makes more serious reading than some of the blogs on here and their conspiracy theory and constant attempts to rubbish leicester.Some of those are so full of shite its unreal..Some of those really try to make out that we have done well this season and have been unlucky.They are more of a piss take than the one posted here.
I was moaning before I went to sleep, and here I am now up and the U21 game is about to start. In Wenger’s announcements, he said that the dynamic duo of Rosicky and Wilshere would make a second appearance, and the twit feed just moments before game time has Rosicky and Wilshere. 🙂
Now to go make some coffee.
COYYG!
Menace and Jerry, I think the Ref was right in giving just a yellow to Iniesta on that occasion. The ball was being passed across to another player not a shot at goal. So technically you cannot call that pass a goal scoring opportunity. I understand your argument that Griezman was not marked hence if the ball had gotten to him and he managed to control it,he would have been in a goal scoring opportunity. I think the laws of the game do not apply to that phase but the phase of pass and handball. The pass technically posed no goal scoring opportunity.
The only debatable decision in favor of Barca related to Suarez challenge on Godin. Others argued that it should have been red, though I think the Ref used the mark on Godin to give a yellow card. It was difficult in real time to see that Suarez intentionally swung his hand to harm Godin. At the end Barca were unlucky with decisions while Atiletico got lucky.
Half time sees the U21 trailing 2-0.
COYYG!
In a different thread, I think Andrew made an observation about getting cards for kicking the ball away. Reine-Adelaide got the first yellow of the match for, wait for it, for kicking the ball away, in the second half.
Rosicky subbed off at 71 minutes, Wilshere still playing.
COYYG!
Game nearly over. Gnabry scores to bring us within 1, and then Swansea score again. Bleech!
COYYG!
The twit feed has some pictures of Roscky from the game, just after the substitution.
Something occurs to me. Most pictures (and drawings) of people running, show an upright person where the force for running comes from extension of the femur at the hip (gluteus maximus for the most part). In other words, the running is driven by a pure rotation at the hips. In the one picture, and many others, you see that the running player is not even close to vertical. The forces involved are more like climbing a set of stairs, where extension at the knee and extension at the hip are happening at the same time. Gluteus maximus is important, bu so is the quadriceps group. Hamstrings are doing a balancing act, whereby there is a “shortening” at the hip and a “lengthening” at the knee. In the lower leg, gastrocgnemius is doing something quite similar to hamstrings. It may be the limit of how fast we can run, is how far forward we are willing to lean and not fall to the ground.
It would appear that Wilshere played the entire game. It is too bad they lost.
Bricks 5.01 am-Im with you! Keep going Sir H!
@ Kenneth Widmerpool – April 14, 2016 at 4:46 pm – Ta very much . I see I got 3 Million LIKES for that comment. Thanks , guys .
I also see that the dislike buttons are still ‘wrongly’ working !