That awfully nice Mr A Cole of KGB Athletico Fulham has been arrested at something like five in the morning for being drunk and disorderly. What bemuses me is, given the general standard of his behaviour over the years, how can anyone tell.
Meanwhile that awfully nice Mr K Bates is finding that people have started asking questions about him again, and Redbus, who failed to buy Leeds have started making enquiries following the revelations yesterday that the court in Jersey have failed to get answers to who owns the organisation that seems to own Leeds United.
And meanwhile, meanwhile, Aston Villa who seemed to go 250 games unbeaten mostly through the development of the “if you go down hold your head” tactic have lost a game, and according to their Life President (that awfully nice Mr D Ellis) are now uncertain about staying in the EPL.
And meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile, that really very nice Mr A Hleb is making all sorts of noises about leaving Bar-Bar-Barca Sheep because he is “at the top of his game” and is spending all his time sitting on a bench. Apparently Bayern Munich have said they like the cut of his jib, or some such.
And meanwhile, mean… well you get the hang of it, most of the Arsenal injured are within striking distance of playing a game of football, and suddenly there will be a crisis because they can’t all play at once.
And the pre-transfer season has opened. The Lord Wenger is about to go to Real Madrid, Cesc is going to leave if he leaves, and Robin is going to Manchester Arab or Milan for £80 million or something, and oh well, you know, everyone else is going to leave, and if you read page 338 of BBC Teletext you will see that we are interested in buying everyone who is somewhere else.
(The only thing missing is that no one journalist has said this year that Arsenal are going to buy Peter Crouch. Still there must be one joker left somewhere on Wapping Swamp).
So the old world is over. Aston Villa are now in freefall, Arsenal are about to rise to the very top, Hleb and Flamini have found that when they leave us they only get the odd appearance, Mr Bates has got people poking around in his rubbish, Mr Cole has been arrested… I quite like the new Utopia.
© Tony Attwood, written, as usual, on another planet.
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