The start of the new season at Arsenal has been given an enormous boost as all 23 players in the world cup squad of France have been suspended.
It might only be for one game, but ensuring that at least three of our top players are not selected for France in the forthcoming round of Car Thief Friendlies (named after Wenger’s description of international managers as a bunch of car thieves) is great news.
Thus it is that when France play Norway in Oslo on Wednesday, 11 August, Diaby, Sagna and Clichy will not be there and so will not be injured.
Of course there is a danger that the French Football Federation and their head of Car Theft might choose someone else from Arsenal to play for them, but if so we should do our level best to persuade whoever is selected, not to go. (They could of course turn to Vieira, but that’s not a matter for us).
Nicolas Anelka, who was sent home for insulting the coach Raymond Domenech was immediately awarded the Untold Services To Humanity and Sanity Medal by this site. Nikky baby, we salute you.
So who is now in danger of injury during a mindless game of nonsense?
Traore, Nasri and Walcott are all possibles.
Traore has played for France under 19, under 18, under 17.
Nasri was excluded from the French squad in South Africa, which didn’t help the French much, but undoubtedly saved him.
Walcott’s inclusion in the list may surprise you, but his mother once went on a cross channel shopping expedition for Calais while she was pregnant with Theo, and thus he qualifies under the Landri- Boulanger-Legrand Interpretation of the Fifa rules on nationality.
Traore, Nasri, Walcott – we urged you – do not be tempted. Do not go.
Blanc, the new car thief, will announce his squad for the Norway game on Thursday, 5 August.
Meanwhile there are clear indications from Arsenal in Foreign Parts that Jay Emmanuel “The Tree” Thomas and Emmanuel “Untold hasn’t thought of a stupid nickname yet” Frimpong are both fully fledged members of the first team squad for the season ahead.
Fortunately neither have ever been to France. The Tree is totally English, and so won’t be called up, since England doesn’t use Arsenal players, but Frimpong is Ghanaian so will sadly be lost to the African Cup of Nations. But he could choose to play for England, and so would not play. (Hey – don’t tell him about not playing – just let him choose).
Last, thanks to everyone who trotted over to my history site, “Woolwich Arsenal” to read up on the ideas about a monument to Herbert Chapman at the stadium. The idea is expanding and there will be more about this on that site shortly.
If you have been, thank you for reading
“Making the Arsenal”: the novel about the takeover of Arsenal 100 years ago.
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- How a 14th monk described Arsenal’s failure to buy Moisés Caicedo and Mykhailo Mudryk