By Sir Hardly Anyone
For the last two years we’ve done a review through the summer of the wild and wacky transfer gibberish that passes for news in many of our national newspapers and on the bloggettas.
Each of the last two summers have had just over 100 players rumoured to join Arsenal, and of course 97% of them have been wrong. (We also incidentally had every single first team player tipped to be leaving Arsenal in each of those windows, but that movement hasn’t started yet this year).
As for the transfers that did actually happen, they were generally only mentioned in the days running up to the announcement.
This year we are starting much, much, much earlier both because the nutters who write all this stuff have started earlier and because (more to the point) the transfer window seems to have moved – and this bit really is true (at least “according to reports”). This summer it is running from May 17 to August 9 in England. Or something like that – there appears to be a certain amount of doubt among the odd places that are covering the story.
Anyway we shall be awarding prizes for the craziest, silliest and worst rumours and the worst source of the transfer campaign.
So we begin with our first top 10 list – and there are already quite a few names on it. Well, ten to be precise. All of these have featured on 5th and 6th February 2018. Below that our first set of awards – and believe me they are a pretty ripe bunch indeed.
|1||Karim Benzema||Real Mad||EPR Scouts, Football Transfer Tavern||Deal agreed £35m|
|2||Kerem Demirbay||Hoffenheim||TalkSport. Liga Financial, Star, AFC Fever||Midfielder, AFC price agreed, Liverpool want him. Price agreed|
|3||Fred||Shakhtar||Gibfootballshow||Arsenal to get him for £30m|
|4||Goncalo Guedes||PSG||Liga Financial||PSG must sell because of FFP, Arsenal have announced interest|
|5||Thomas Lemar||Monaco||ArsenalNewsHQ||Deal confirmed|
|6||Malcolm||Bordeaux||FootballBible, Sport Review, Gunnerspheree||Winger; everyone is interested; he says he goes in the summer. But might go to China|
|7||Jan Oblak||Atletico Mad||FootballBible; Gibfootballshow||Goalkeeper also wanted by Chelsea and Liverpool. 100m euros.|
|8||Richarlison||Watford||EPL Scouts||Midfield, Chels & Tots also; Arsenal miss out & Arsenal to hijack deal, both on same site!!!|
|9||Wilfried Zaha||Crystal Palace||Liga Financial||Arsenal making a bid of £25m|
|10||Andrija Zivkovic||Benfica||Football Facts, EatSleepSports ArsenalStation, Telegraph, Giants, Tribal Football||21 year old striker|
Laugh of the day: “Arsenal fans discuss Cesc Fabregas returning as manager”
Turnip of the day: “Arsenal ‘agree’ to trigger £28m release clause of 24-year-old Bundesliga midfielder” Arsenal Fever. (How can the word “agree” be in inverted commas? One either agrees or one doesn’t.)
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The “it makes no sense” award for making no sense at all. “Club director confirm agreement reached with Man United for star man” is the headline from Football Bible, and the story reads, “Roma have confirmed that they rejected the opportunity to sign Manchester United defender Daley Blind on transfer deadline day, according to the Daily Star.”
Good pieces all to start us off with for what is going to be quite a long ride to the window even if it does start earlier.
Away from the rumours – the under 23s triumph again.
Meanwhile you may have heard the under 23s latest triumph beating Everton (yes them again) 4-0 on Monday. And as a quick summary look at this for a clue as to where our attacking future lies.
E. Nketiah 12 minutes (assist by J. Willock)
1 – 0
R. Nelson 26 minutes (assist by J. Willock)
2 – 0
E. Nketiah 62 minutes (assist by J. Willock)
3 – 0
E. Nketiah 77 minutes (assist by E. Smith Rowe)
4 – 0
- 73 players coming to Arsenal this summer! 7 new; 11 updates. The full list.
- Why Arsenal absolutely must not “allow the players to play”
- In 10 of the last 15 seasons one of the big six hasn’t been in the top six. It’s normal.
- 24 players leaving Arsenal: the full updated list
- How Arteta gave us a hint of what he was about to do, but we missed it.