Why international football managers are just like car thieves

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Interlull news in the UK rarely captures much of the “fun of the fair” type of excitement of normal times, largely because few people in England expect the country to do very much in the WC and Scotland are not there.  Nor Wales nor N Ireland.  Nor the Isle of Man, although I am not sure that is technically part of the UK.

Still Iceland is there (in the WC not the UK) and we could make them associate members of the UK I suppose.  I mean they like the UK, catch fish, have a broken banking industry, corrupt politicians and a massive aluminium industry.

Actually I may be wrong about the UK’s aluminium industry.

But we do have our big bit of injury news, and of course it involves Jack.  And what surprises me is that it it is portrayed as a surprise.

However not to worry because the Star tells us today that it has a “Wilshere exclusive”.  And that is that the “midfielder deal complete”.  They also tell us about “Wenger’s replacement blow”

Starsport understands the England boss Gareth Southgate has avoided a flashpoint with Arsene Wenger only because Wilshere should be fit to face Stoke on Sunday.

But the Gunners are concerned with the way Wilshere was ‘managed’, with the 26-year-old understood to have been worked hard in training during his four days with England.

And this is how it always is.  There international managers have no long term plans for players’ health and safety and so do anything they like.   As we used to say, international managers are like car thieves who take your vehicle, drive it into the ground, return it to you broken and then demand you have it fully repaired the next time they want it.

Anyway “Thomas Tuchel could snub Arsenal as he wants to take over at Bayern Munich, which is a bit of a surprise because I thought the story was that Bayern was the club being snubbed.  But you can’t make football without having snubs.”

The Star also tell us

Barcelona star Ousmane Dembele asks Arsenal to sign him this summer – report 


But there is something else here.  Two something else’s in fact.

One is the story of clubs carefully and slowly watching players without anyone knowing, holding discreet discussions with clubs and perhaps agents on an “if this enquiry gets out there is no offer possible” off the record basis.  Dealing directly with agents without permission is of course illegal in football, but I think that rule has been forgotten.

The other story is of unmitigated chaos as clubs swing from one player to another, one day chasing x, the next y, with clubs competing over signatures, and being beaten to deals (which ultimately never happen) as suddenly a new bidder emerges and another one walks away from any deal.

Take for example the story

Juventus to be left frustrated in Aaron Ramsey pursuit as they prioritise deal for Liverpool ace.  All that comes from the fact that according to CalcioMercato, “verbal contract has been made by the Bianconeri for the player, although Chelsea and Manchester City are believed to be monitoring his situation.”

That from Football.London who have funny beliefs.  Was there really a pursuit?  If so why release the details?  Is there someone in the club blabbing?  If so, that person will surely be cast unto the pit within minutes, because the last thing anyone in football really wants is for a transfer to be all over the papers every day.  But why would anyone in a club admit to a transfer failure?  It seems odd.

Yes some players and their agents do conduct business this way in order to force a move.  From what I have been told and certainly from what I observed, this is how Robin van Persie and his entourage behaved when Arsenal were reluctant to sell him, and similarly Alexis Shanchez is said to have been happy for his affairs to be conducted in public.

But where a player recognises he might need to stay at his existing club, no I don’t think there is any real advantage in spilling the beans.  When it happens buying clubs are more likely to walk away, and selling clubs are more likely to hike the price.

And anyway whatever happened to all that stuff about Arsenal buying Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez?  It came, it buzzed, it vanished.  Just like most transfer stories.


10 Replies to “Why international football managers are just like car thieves”

  1. OT

    I see David Sullivan (co-owner of Taxpayers United) has been ordered to pay back £700,000 worth of tax he attempted to avoid and that he implicated the club in this. No punishment, just told to pay the money back! I wonder whether there will be an FA investigation and suitable punishment meted out to the club? It surely must come under the remit of the ‘fit and proper person’ test.

    In news last month a homeless man was given a six month prison sentence for begging in an affluent part of Bristol. But I suppose, like bad refereeing decisions, it all evens out in the end…………….

  2. Quote from Arsené.

    “What the national coaches are doing is like taking the car from his garage without even asking permission. They will then use the car for ten days and abandon it in a field without any petrol left in the tank. We then have to recover it, but it is broken down”

  3. Gooner Mickey
    In the words of the old music hall song….

    It’s the same the whole world over
    It’s the poor what gets the blame
    It’s the rich what gets the gravy
    Ain’t it all a bloomin’ shame?

  4. I think Untold has used this quote from Arsène more than a dozen times. It still is valid and can be used each international match in fact.

  5. And if there is one site that can use Wenger’s words… it is Untold 😉

  6. All Arsenal players who might have got broken down after being used by national football team managers during the international break should have become fixed in time so as to enable them take part in the Arsenal vs Stoke match in the Premier League on Sunday at the Emirates Stadium.

    Of a particular interest to us Gooners, is the knee injury said to have been picked up by the Arsenal ace midfielder, Jack Wilshere during the rigorous training regime of the England national team manager, Gareth Southgate who has been preparing his team to face some opposition national teams in England national team friendly matches used as preparation games by the 3Lions for 2018 World Cup finals. But this rigorous training regime has left Wilshere all but injured for both club and country. But whether he’ll be fit to be available for selection to play for Arsenal in their home match against Stoke City on Sunday in the PL will be known when Le Boss gives the update on the Gunners on Friday or Saturday this weekend that precedes the match.

  7. The Zen of Sarcasm

    01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
    I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me

    02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky

    03. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your
    neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

    04. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

    05. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

    06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    07. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car

    08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their

    09. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
    he will sit in a boat and drink all day .

    11. I f you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably a wise investment.

    12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

    13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
    back in your pocket.

    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and
    it holds the universe together.

    18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving .

    20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


    22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
    the same night.

  8. Gooner Mikey

    Having an accountant father who obviously understands the working of the system, the Inland Revenue tends to work like this. If you get caught they ask you to disclose all your unpaid tax. They will then fine you accordingly and get you to sign a document confirming you have disclosed ALL outstanding sums. They will then generally not take any further legal action, (you see they have their tax, they got the extra from the fines and they didn’t have to pursue a timely and expensive legal case).

    However, if they later find you were lying THEN you get prosecuted and are likely to go to prison.

    Lester Piggott is the best known example … he had bank accounts that even his accountants didn’t know about under false names !!!! The story was that having signed the disclosure agreement he paid his fine … from an account he hadn’t declared !!! Ooooooooooooops !!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *