By Sir Hardly Anyone
1: DONE DEAL. Sokratis
L’Équipe is running the story that we really really have signed Borussia Dortmund defender Sokratis Papastathopoulos. Plans are being launched for the Arsenal programme to print the team sideways to allow for longer names. Actually I made that up, just as I think have L’Équipe. And given the whole sorry Fekir to Liverpool saga you might think they could try and stay off the made-up bits. But no, seems not.
Anyway he’s 29, and if the story is true that means we’ve gone back to Borussia Dortmund again (you will recall that Aubameyang was also from there). Media jargon for him is “no-nonsense stopper”. And as a word of warning, Sokratis’ father claimed that his son’s transfer would be completed on Tuesday LAST WEEK.
Oh no, shock horror. Something went wrong.
One that hasn’t finished because it hasn’t started is the signing of Sampdoria defensive midfielder Lucas Torreira. Sport Review, the Metro, Calciomercato Sampdoria, the Express and the Daily Star, all have this one. He is 22 and a midfielder, and is going to cost £22m. Still I suppose if no one is saying that we have signed him there is still a chance.
4: Caglar Söyüncü
Sorry I can’t get the accents to work if I write it in caps, so he is in lower case.
He is 22, and he plays his club football with Freiburg, and is going to cost something in the region of £35M. He’s a centre back. And why should we believe this? Well Talksport, The Sun, and ESPN are all running it.
Better, 101 Great Goals has this as confirmed. So it must be happening.
5: JACK WILSHERE
And, according to the Evening Standard, Wilshere now wants to define his role at Arsenal before he puts pen to paper. Playing in midfield I would imagine, but what do I know?
Arsenal are ready to make an offer to sign RB Leipzig full-back Lukas Kolstermann, according to a report in Germany (Sport Review)
But wait, what is this? According to Bild, yes we are interested but Football Fancast tell us that this is NOT happening (an interesting approach now to list the Arsenal transfers that are not coming to pass on the grounds that this list is shorter.) Their reason – he’s a right back and we just bought one. But actually he has also played left back for German sides.
7: MORGAN SANSON
The Express says we are fighting Tottenham for this man. He is 23, he is a midfielder and he is with Bordeaux.
8: GELSON MARTINS
“Arsenal fail with £26m bid to sign Sporting Lisbon star” according to a “report” in Portugal. Metro says he wants to join and so Arsenal are putting in a second bid. But HITC says Everton wants him. He’s a winger. Why do we need another winger?
Another report, this from Yeniakit that Fenerbache are ready to buy Alexandre Lacazette – just a year after his arrival in the Premier League from Lyon. I really really really really want Laca to stay and play in the same team as Auba.
10: CRISTIAN PAVON
West Ham want him but Arsenal are holding talks according to the Mirror. He’s Argentine, he’s 22 and he’s a forward. Sports Mole have said Arsenal have already held talks with the man from Boca Juniors.
So there you have it. Another run of men coming and going, most of whom won’t as it is all made up.