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Donald Trump puts in bid to buy PGMO [report may not be 100% accurate]

 

Following the rejection of his plans to buy first Greenland and then the Isle of Wight, the American President has put in a bid for PGMO.  Fortunately, Sir Hardly Anyone, our man on the spot, was on the spot.  Here is his report of Mr Trump’s words in a press conference in Smackover, Arkensas.

————-

“I like the PGMO, it is totally secretive.  We have far too much openness today and I want everything to be behind doors that are not only closed but also bolted shut on the inside and outside.

“And you know to get this soccer thing fixed, because it certainly needs fixing, you have to see it out of focus.  And the PGMO is the most out of focus organisation I have ever seen in my life.  It’s like a beautiful woman.

“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful women—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.  I’m also attracted to secret societies and the PGMO is perfect for my needs.  I want to kiss the PGMO.   And its operational officer.  And those women who play soccer.

“Nobody respects women more than me, and nobody respects secrecy more than me, nobody respects referees more than me.  Maybe there is. I don’t know.

“When PGMO circle around those beautiful players on the pitch and write in their little notebooks and have their secret meetings, and they make gestures which means goals are not allowed or are allowed, according to what they want, that is power, and that is what I want.  That is what I have.  That is how it should be.

“These people are not interested in accepting the rules and regulations and results and all that crap.  They are interested not in any result but the right result, and that is what I am interested in.  Just because one team wins that doesn’t mean they have won.  I’ll tell you who wins once I have decided.  With the PGMO I can do that.

“And you know it will be fair, because I have the greatest temperament that anybody has ever had and you need that to run the little round ball game.

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“Those people who support PGMO, those guys in it, those journalists who accept their words from on high and never write a word about PGMO – never mention PGMO – they are poorly educated.  They believe in the PGMO.  I love the poorly educated.  They let me do what I want.  I know more about PGMO than PGMO do, believe me.

“So now I am campaigning to take over PGMO. It has been a beautiful flawless campaign.  It will be a beautiful flawless campaign.  People will talk of this campaign forever as the best run campaign of all times.  Like my campaign to take over Greenland.  And the Isle of Wight.  And any other island that wants me to take it over.  Like England.  And the PGMO.

“Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror, and I like what I see.”

Central Smackover

 

Untold hopes to have a personal one to one interview with the President once he becomes head of the PGMO.   And in case you don’t believe that Smackover Arkensas here it is.

You can read more about this beautiful city on its Wikipedia page

It has its own oil field and was the birthplace of Sleepy LaBeef, the rockabilly musician.

The PGMO’s website makes no mention of any of the above matters, nor come to that any aspect of refereeing.

 

 

13 comments to Donald Trump puts in bid to buy PGMO [report may not be 100% accurate]

  • Chris

    PGMO just giving no comment just about confirms what the veracity of the rumour. The fact that neither the FA nor the White House or the Trump organisation are keeping the lid on it is an oxymoron : an astounding silence… They want to keep it quiet because they are just too scared that the Saudi Arabian Kingdom come in and buys them instead – no more beer, champagne or scotch as these guys have rules….

    But the deal makes sense, the more so if you think that from there, buying the FA outright is the next step. After all the charitable organisation 45 has had for years was dissolved by a judge. So the FA makes a perfect target, as it is operating as charity….

    Knowint that Twitter will allow politicians to lie …UA ought to register as political party and could thus tweet the truth : no one could ask for a deletion as political comments are allowed to be the untruth… so true or not, same thing… how about that ?!?

  • MickHazel

    I am all in favour of Trump buying PGMO, bearing in mind Arsenal has an American owner.
    That would surely stand us in good stead and put us in a much higher position on the PGMO favourites list.
    Bring it on. I can see a future full of referee and VAR decisions going consistently in our favour!

  • Chris: Untold as a political party?

    Now you’re talking!

    Mick – you are on the right track. The future is ours.

  • Arsenal v PSG in the women’s champions league

  • Gord

    I don’t imagine there really any easy draws for the women at this stage Tony. If the women get past PSG, they play the winner of Lyon v BMunich. To play either of those opponents, could be a final instead of a semi-final. Best of luck to the women.

    —-

    I still don’t see any news in the news about Arsenal today. Just lots and lots of fabricated stuff.

    —-

    All the ex-Arsenal muppets (Merson, Smith, Keown, Nichols, …) have decided to move on. Merson is moving to Chile to work in a guano mine. Smith is headed to Africa to work on a cacao bean farm. Keown heard that a farm in Thailand has had their ox die; so he is going there to pull the plow until they find a replacement ox. Nichols has found a job sweeping floors at a local casino chain.

    What jobs have you heard of withe ex-Arsenal muppets?

  • Bobome

    Absolutely hilarious, enjoyed the post. It takes one’s mind off all the negative stuff, at least for a delicious moment.

    Maybe the Arabs could be enticed into out-bidding the Donald for the ultra secret organization to unleash it on the rest of the world in 2022. Something to look forward to.

  • Laos gooner

    Love it but can’t we go further and have Donny Boo Boo as the new Arsenal owner. Could be a good use for all those left over pieces of “MAGA” merchandise. Come on Donny make Arsenal great again!

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    Donald Trump still having the time to put in a bid to own the PGMO despite the Impeachment Inquiry being leveled against him by the US House Democrats make one to wonder if the over $3b rich 73 year old White supremasist American President from New York is a kind of human being who at all can ever refrain himself from excesses doing always or not. I think he can’t.

    Aside of the above article posting joke on Trump buying the PGMO which of course could turnout to be a possibility. For, anything that is connected to football these days in this modern era can be commercialized for profit making in the name of sponsorship or an outright buying up to own the football sporting outfit. But as of now I prefer in my thinking at this time to focus on Arsenal Premier League match away to Leicester City tomorrow evening at the King Power Stadium. And in this quest as it’s concern Arsenal I’ll like to make my own take on the match encounter known.

    Leicester City who are currently in top form in the PL winning matches home and at away scoring goals freely with some ease will feel confident they’ll beat Arsenal tomorrow and one can not fault them for being that confident.

    And Arsenal who have not won a PL match since they last beat Aston Villa at the Ems could be low in confidence when they go in into the match tomorrow evening. More so, as the Gunners lost to the Foxes in this fixture last season. But however, that was last season and this is this season. For, the seasons are not the same. And I believe it won’t be the same story to Arsenal in what happened to them at Leicester last season. Because the Gunners can raise their game above all what they’ve played in their games in the PL so far this season to give themselves the chance to beat the Foxes in their hide outs in the match. And therefore, this is exactly what the Gunners who Emery will select to play the match need to do to beat the Foxes and they just have to do this and beat them irrespective of whatever game plan and tactics that Emery employed for the match, let the Gunners play to it faithfully and obediently to precise with no any complains made whatsoever.

    The Gunners MUST be competent and highly efficient in the game tomorrow against the Foxes and be razor sharp in their attacking them. They MUST defend brilliantly as a team in the game to not concede any goals in the match to the Foxes. And they SHOULDN’T allow themselves to fall behind in the match to start chasing it. The Gunners MUST be astute in their defending in the game generally to not allow any Foxes like the dangerous Jamie Vardy and any of his colleagues to breach their defensive line to score but close them down absolutely to deny them finding the back of the net of Arsenal throughout the entire course of playing the match.

    In this match encounter reminiscence of a big game to Arsenal, the Gunners should endeavour to head the ball out from corner or free kicks far away from their goal area as much as they can to not give the Foxes any chance to over pressurized them to score. And they MUST be careful in the game to not give away any penalties to the Foxes. And SHOULD be careful too to not pickup any needless card during the match. The SHOULD forsake profigancy in front of Leicester’s goal mouth to avoid wastefulnes but bury their chances with clinical precision that even the PIGMOB and their Video Assistant Riggers cohorts will have no choice but respect. And finally, the Gunners MUST try by all possible means to be good in all departments in their game in corner kicks free kicks, kick outs and throw ins. And above all concentrate on the game fully to not give in to any momentary loss of concentrations during the match and disciplined absolutely in the match.

    My predicted Arsenal 4-2-3-1 starting XI formation and the 7 man Gunners bench I have for the match are as below.

    Starts:
    Leno;
    Bellerin Chambers Luiz Kolasinac;
    Guendouzi Torreria;
    Pepe Ozil Saka;
    Aubameyang.

    Bench:
    Martinez AMN Sokratis Tierney Willock Smith-Rowe Lacazette.

    I want to see the look to be stamina gifted Pepe interchange positions occasionally with Auba during the match because Pepe looked at Guimaneas he can play centrally when he speeded away on the ball centrally on receiving a pass in the closing seconds of the match but he was flagged offside otherwise he might have scored the winner in the match. He doesn’t look tired or a player fatigued when he raced away on the ball centrally getting ahead of every opposition player. I think he has the stamina to start the Leicester game and alternate positions with Auba as the game pans on. But with respect to Lacazette, he should not start the match but from the bench to help us. This is because he is yet to regain his starting confidence to score for Arsenal after his return from the sidelines. But with time I believe he would.

  • goonersince72

    Sir Hardly,

    All I can say is birds of a feather….Good laugh to end the week.

  • Menace

    Breaking news – New PGMO directive all walls must be paid for by the Mexicans.

    The damned migrants will be stopped somehow.

    Make Arsenal Great again!!

  • Mahdain

    PGMOL are intentionally sabotaging VAR and succeeding at it thanks to their outspoken media counterparts. Instead of asking the million dollar question on why Mike Riley is so against pitch side monitors, they have decided to build up the “VAR bad, referees good” narrative while conveniently forgetting that the VAR officialshave little to no experience in refereeing in PL. Only Keith Hackett has been vocal about the VAR misuse but the media have conveniently forgotten as well that he was Riley’s predecessor and perhaps he knows what he is talking about

  • omgarsenal

    Bobome…….the Arabs already own the PGMOB as they own City.

  • In any case, the information is rather cutting edge, so just like it.

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