By Sir Hardly Anyone
After the shock of the closure of the Premier League the bloggettas and newspaper websites went silent for a day. But only a day. Now they are acting as if nothing is happening and are back with stories of the players that Arsenal will buy for next season.
Which means it must be time to start our regular summer account of all the players Arsenal are tipped to buy by those who claim to know things, but actually don’t. We’ll be keeping tabs on all these players and seeing if the fantasists can get above 3% accuracy rating last summer.
And there is another point… can we afford to buy anyone, having spent £130m last summer? Well, we won’t worry about that because that will spoil the fundamental of newspaper and blog reporting from here until August 31. Yep we’ll only have five and a half months of this…
1: Arsenal plot bid for 23-year-old Wolves star
Arsenal are weighing up a swoop to sign Wolves star Diogo Jota” which really doesn’t take us beyond the headline.
He’s a forward, and he is Portuguese. With Martinelli and Nketiah and Pepe do we need any more forwards? Seemingly yes, even if the old time forwards leave.
The 4th Official has this citing the Mail as the source – the Mail talking up this summer as last summer as the summer before as the … well you know – saying Arsenal will “overhaul” their squad. Football London (FoLo) have the same.
2: Arsenal plot Issa Diop transfer as Mikel Arteta considers complete defensive overhaul
3: Arsenal urged to complete £45m transfer deal for Mikel Arteta’s top target
The man in question is Atletico Madrid midfielder Thomas Partey
4: How Arsenal should be preparing for the next season if this one is finished early.
In summary Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Bukayo Saka need to sign a new contract, (presumably by someone at the club remembering to tell them to sign) or replace Auba now. Kolasinac has to go, along with a range of other defenders and replacements bought – which presumably means replacements who don’t mind being reserves.
Ceballos should stay, but if he won’t we need another player like him. Just see it to will you!
5: Barcelona make Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang transfer decision with Arsenal ready to sell
6: Journalist suggests Arsenal are interested in Newcastle star
The amusingly titled “Why Arsenal should do everything possible to sign Miguel Almiron” and cite as their source Luis Enrique Perez, speaking on Paraguayan radio station Radio 1º de Marzo. Although actually they got it from the Express.
Almiron, 26, is Newcastle’s record signing just over a year ago and this season’s top scorer. With six. But despite that number the blog says, “One area the Gunners boss should address is the attack.” Aubameyang had 20 before football was abandoned.
7: Arsenal urged to sign Thomas Partey after Liverpool performance
And that sums it all up. One great performance and the “sign him” signs come out, and when we don’t we are seen to be too slow. “Do it now, do it quick” – Arsenal told to sign €50m player who helped sink Liverpool” says
8: Brazilian defender is scouted and two summer transfers lined up
9: Arsenal interested in Wolverhampton Wanderers duo Diogo Jota, Ruben Neves
OK Jota is dotting in and out of reports everywhere, but Neves is a midfielder and less mentioned. Sports Mole must take responsibility for this one.
10: Who is Marc Cucurella? The £20.9m Barcelona starlet Arsenal, Chelsea and Tottenham have scouted
And there we have it. For now at least.
- Arsenal injury crisis is a phantom of the Mirror’s imagination
- In Switzerland Fifa is on the edge of being blown up. In England….?
- Why life working for a football club might not always be what it seems
- The big six transfers thus far, and who’s got more cash?
- Arsenal transfers: Gnabry return, White a disaster, Martinez a loss?