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Snooping around Sp#rs Blogs (Beware: health warning)

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By Sammy The Snake

Snooping around Sp#rs Blogs

Oh Lord… Not you Tony!

Oh Lord… Not you Arsene!

Oh Lord… Yes, you, Big Man!

Oh Lord… Forgive me for I’ve sinned… I’ve been to the other side, and it wasn’t pretty… I’ve seen the darkness… I’ve smelled the sewage… I’ve been among the brain-dead… I’ve looked stupidity in both eyes and have felt a chill down my long spine. I’ve been among scum… Lord, I’ve been to Sp#rs Blogs… I think I’m losing all my senses. Lord, save me from this disgrace… I’ve put shame on my family, my neighbors, and my fellow Gooners… Lord, help me towards the path back to the light. Amen!

With Sp#rs’ recent relative success, of course “relative” in their own tiny world, I’ve been wondering what’s been happening in the land of utter blindness. How big is Harry’s ego by now? Do the tiny Totters really believe in their own myth? Does Billy Gallas believe it when he says “we can win EPL now”?! Are they that deluded?!! Has their head grown even bigger with last night’s qualification to the next round of Champion’s League?

First on Google results was Beef Bagel, how about “Sh!t Sandwich? Two articles, one with a single comment (dated 3rd November), and another article with no comments (dated 30th November). The blogger has started to catch up when he starts a blog by saying “Maybe I don’t have to say anything because I’m not sure anybody’s reading anything here now”.  You got that right!

Moving on to THBN… Latest article is dated 1st of December. That’s your serving of left-over dog poop! The least you can do is to dish out some new sh!t to people! Again, it looks as if hardly anyone ever reads this stuff. A 19th of November (the day before Arsenal-Tots at Ems) article states:

“Unfortunately for Arsenal, we have two elements they don’t have, Rafa van der Vaart and Gareth Bale. I suppose the late possible introduction of Jermain Defoe could also add a spiced up cheer in the changing room, but for now, Van der Vaart and Bale could be the key to our first away win at the Emirates.”

Well, fortunately for Arsenal, we have Cesc, RVP, Nasri and Chamakh, with a side of Arsh and Theo! And a splash of Jack for desert! But looking beyond our rivalry, the blogger called it partly correctly. Bale and introduction of Defoe made most of the difference. Let them have this one, the earth can rotate backwards once every 17 years or so.

I’m looking for some fresh stuff about recent games or events, so I click on sp#rswebguide. Only to see stuff for sale, and a list of Sp#rs blogs. Aha! I’ve hit the mother load. Or have I?

I visit The Sp#r (oddly at www.thequake.cm). Two short articles on the last night Champions League and many other short articles on other games. Surprisingly, the articles aren’t regular. Little excitement, short on support, and nothing to pull the reader back to the blog. They have a link to “that match against Arsenal” (the italics provided by them, I just bring the message), somehow keeping faith with little results that goes their way once in a blue moon.

Losing patience, and Sammy isn’t generally known for his patience, I try my luck at TopSp#rs. On top of the page, I see “The greatest football team on this earth” and I explode with laughter (you may not know this, but it’s an extreme case for snakes to laugh), and I know this isn’t going anywhere.

As the song said, I can see clearly now the rain has come. I think I’ve decoded the Sp#rs lock, and I get it. It’s quite ordinary, really! Simple minded people with no idea about football support this team. They aren’t bad people, they aren’t harmful. They just don’t know any better!

On another note, Samir’s such a scoring snake! More of the same, Samir, bring more for ManU!

Sammy The Snake

Warning: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!

Life, the universe, Arsenal

Why are you always going on about the past?

Political note: if you are a UK resident and you agree that it is wrong that government funding should be cut while Vodophone, Topshop, BHS, Dorothy Perkins, Barclays Bank, and most recently Cadbury, should avoid UK tax by utilising tax loopholes that the UK government refuses to shut down, please visit UK Uncut

19 comments to Snooping around Sp#rs Blogs (Beware: health warning)

  • roh_Top Gun

    i tried the same thing a fortnight back… and i repented 4 wastin my time…
    at a maximum i found 5 blogs, of which only 2 had 5+ comments…
    no club on the planet has a blogosphere thats even 1/3rd of the size of ours…

    P.S: forgive me Lord Yama, for i too had sinned… 😉

  • super sam super sam

    it’s pretty funny (of course) to glance over those blogs

    but it’s also a sad state when i can read Le Grove after every post they make and find a huge group of arsenal “supporters” who speak and act as if they actually are spuds, not because of wanting gareth bale, not because they can’t type without making some shocking grammar error. it’s because they have virtually no respect for the club they watch, it’s appalling

    it’s getting harder and harder for me to rail on the spuds, the team isn’t in all honesty that bad. and it feels like on the supporters front ours don’t do us much justice either

  • super sam super sam

    of course i don’t mean all of them, many of our supporters are great people. you guys do a great job on this site, guest contributors and regulars

  • well…..i think no other team can match us with supporter….i really mean it….in my country….the passion of football is there…somalia….though am not there….but i don kno if u guys heard…couple lost their lives because of watchin football……and thats so sad…you kno the dominant militia there….banning watchin football.claimin islamic sheria or stuff………but anyway guys ….hundreds of thousands in somalia love arsenal…and we have biggest fans for one club…and they suppport arsenal……..i believe somali pple love football more than anything else….and we are really the brazil in africa….but no one knows…i can’t imagine the talents we have are unrecognizable ……..our kids play football every hour they get a chance to play….well all somalis are footballers …its true…no somali has passed his youth era without being a player……and can u imagine..there is a league which is goin on in somalia….and all the players and officials are volunteers …they don get money but they pay to organize ….and no match has been played without crowds over crowding …..though there is that threat from islamic militias …….but they can’t stop playin and loving football….no we have a national team..but they are weak because of circumstances….two weeks ago they were participating cecafa cup …held in tanzania…and imagine they played immediately like 8 hours after arriving the country……how could they prepare…??????….got alot to tell you guys……but long comment though …who ever is readin upto here….i appreciate……and feedback pls…lemi know

  • guys…i love playing p.s and i never played with any other team….only arsenal…and i love playin our style..ma frnds hate when i take arsenal…they know i won’t allow them to have the ball….lool….

    anyway…..chelsea gonna lose to spukhhss….and we gonna beat manure at old home….and so after that we’ll have clear lead at the top…..

  • LordWhale

    In ma country arsenal has a huge gathering of supporters. That is in Nigeria and I am one of the leaders of the supporters of my area. So I am like a cult hero too. UP GUNNERs

  • Wrenny

    Great article but you forgot the biggest Spuddy blog of them all – Le Gr*ve!

  • Pas

    The jealousy for the spuds is amazing! Theres only one reason why Arsenal fams are even rabbiting on abouts Spurs and thats because you actually realise that they are slowly closing the gap between them & Arsenal, its as simple as that!

    Dont even try and waffle it, stop trying to convince yourselfs that its just a flash in a pan season for them cos reality is they beat you in your own back yard and also came top of their champs lge group when they blatently had a much much harder group than your piss poor pathetic part timers group! LMAO

  • super sam super sam

    haha, oh spurs. okay, i can kinnndd of retract my comment there. good arsenal fans on here.

    you sir, are a true joker. i would feel awful about arsenal if redknapp came into the system, and you fellows truly are having a humongous laugh if you think redknapp is going to be the one keeping your club afloat. your club is going to need a sugar daddy of abromovich stature if you wish to keep this up

    i’ve just got one word for you my jealous friend (because you are clearly jealous of arsenal, i’ve never typed one word on a tottenham blog).

    bankruptcy.

  • super sam super sam

    yes wrenny, that’s what i was trying to get it. i’ve tried to ignore them. i still try, but it gets to me how they can manipulate our fans like they have no brains.

  • Eleanor

    @Pas …

    Point 1. Just in case you haven’t noticed we’ve been “rabbiting on abouts Spurs” (sic) since time began and not because we “realise that they are slowly closing the gap”.

    Point 2. Why on earth should we be jealous of a team that, in your own carefully chosen words are ONLY “slowly closing the gap”.

    Point 3. Yes, they beat us at the Ems, but we beat them at the Lane. I’m sure in your eyes one is more important than the other, but I’m not sure why.

    Point 4. They topped a group with less points than we achieved coming second plus they conceded a hatful more goals. As for our group, I think you’ll find Shakhtar far better opposition than most people think (they should easily get to the quarters). As for Benitez’s Inter being strong opposition – you obviously haven’t been watching any of their games over the last months. Inter have won just 6 out of 15 in Serie A and trail a not-too-brilliant AC Milan by 10 points. They’ve been playing so badly I doubt Benitez will survive to the new year.

    But what the hell. They’re out of the CC and 5th and we are not.

    So, let’s see how the season unfolds.

    As for that arse you seem to have lost in your self-induced fit of hysterical laughter – at least you’ve nothing left to talk out of now. So it’s not all bad news, eh?

  • Lion o

    Forgive me I have sinned even worse than all of you… I went on le grove… the biggest Arsenal haters of them all

  • pantsR2long

    some of you really are obsessed with le-grove. Its becoming a bit of a problem me-thinks. Get off your high horse, no-one is making you read them and its a top blog anyway.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Sammy ,glad to see that your slither down to the Spuds pit has not made you to shed your skin but made you more resolute in the believe of the Lord( Wenger).
    HISStory shows that the Spuds are always playing catch up with Arsenal and spew crap (‘Arry oddly does speak with forked tongue
    and disconcerting facial tics).
    Alas , I too have a confession to make – in a moment of weakness
    I coveted a neighbour – I wished that we had Sol Campbell in defence.The lord saw that it was just and He delivered him unto us. Cheers of 1 nil to the Arsenal were heard. But in their land ,they brayed for his blood and called him unspeakable names – Judas was one of the milder ones.They have hated us since.

  • Shard

    Spurs are a small club with an even smaller mentality. The height of their ambition at the start of every year is to finish above Arsenal. That could mean that they finish 19th just as long as Arsenal finish 20th. Every year we hear the same we have closed the gap nonsense. Yet isn’t that an admission that at the end of the previous year there was a gap that even the deluded have to acknowledge. Thankfully, there aren’t any spurs fans where I live. Hardly suprising though.

  • Steve D.

    Parry and riposte…. Nicely done Eleanor!!!

  • Mandy Dodd

    Spurs fans are hilarious. Some of them have descended into self loathing bitterness and insecurity at all those years in our shadow, yet when they see the merest chink of light after years of failure,they delude themselves into thinking they have the greatest team, manager and player at least in the EPL and possibly the universe – completely ignoring all evidence to the contrary.
    And some, in their spare time pose as fake Gooners trying to start some insurrection against Wenger and the board.
    Still – takes all sorts to make a world….

  • Bexxy

    LOL. Fantastic! Are we all supporting Spurs on Sunday and West Ham Saturday?

  • Henry XIV

    @Bexxy
    I haven’t made up my min yet. I never want Spurs to win, so I’ll go for a dull 0-0 to keep Chelsea in doubt.