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16.5 Things We Learnt This Week

16.5 Things We Learnt This Week

By Sammy The Snake

Hello Arsenal diehards, Untold readers, and even stat fans! Uncle Sammy is here to show you the positive side of life as an Arsenal supporter. What a difference a week makes! Last week this time, I was handing my resignation to Tony… This week, for some odd reason, the birds start singing again, and I’m starting to remember the joy of being an Arsenal supporter.

As all of you might have noticed, Untold is probably the only blog not to have a “5 reasons for…” or “7 things Arsenal should…”, among other “Numerical I know best” articles spreading the web. I strongly feel that Untold is falling behind on this sensationalism, and am afraid that if we do not resort to such dirty tricks to obtain clicks, Untold will lose its audience.

To put matters straight, I would like to offer my bit of sensational journalism, blended in with a dose ofhonest-to-Godreality, by providing you 16.5 things we learnt this week:

1.       AOC is A-OK! The boy can play some nice footie, and has the nerves of steel. I would have probably sh!t my pants if I was thrown in the deep end of Champions League for only my 2nd game. I don’t know about you, but I love Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and his self confidence, this boy has a great future in Red & White colours.

2.       You can buy a club for a zillion dollars, you can buy ordinary players at over-the-top prices, you can pay your players unimaginable sums of money week in week out (more on that later), and you can cook the books by sponsoring your own club/stadium for insane amounts, but you can never buy class. Never!

3.       Attending CL game at Emirates:  So many Pounds (insert number on your own amount depending on your ticketing source). Beer at the game: Some more Pounds (depending on how many beers you can gulp down between the two halves). RVP’s 100th Arsenal goal: Priceless!

4.       ManU is in crisis and their defensive calamity is only getting worse in each game. Sir Alex’s team is leaking goals like the titanic, and the attack is dead without Shrek. The media may not be saying it, but ManU defense is just as vulnerable as any other team, including ours. If the media wanted to pick on them, the way they pick on Arsenal, they would be crying crisis, new players not able to fill the shoes of the old guards, etc… On the back of two weak results against two very weak sides, the media are keeping their traps shut! Hmmmm, I wonder why?

5.       The Arsenal faithful are getting to really like Mr. Arteta. Another rough gem unearthed by Mr. Wenger? Oh, wait, according to the media, Arteta must be useless since he was signed on the last day of transfer! Yes, the value of a player can only be determined by the timing of their transfer, not their showing on the pitch. Oh, God, I’m so confused now!

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6.       The deep crisis at Stamford Bridge has no end in sight. The new manager has lost the dressing room due to his age… I really like Boas, and I am not against young people, but isn’t he old enough to coach 9 year olds? How can he play the father figure role for the players when they are up to 10 years older than him (isn’t Lampard 40?)? Why does he insist on calling some of his players “Uncle”? The results have turned south for Chelski, and he could only bring Lampard out of the Chelsea museum to cash a single point against the Spanish opposition. Crisis, I tell you, crisis!

7.       Injuries have no intention of letting go of Arsenal players. On that note, get well soon, Jack!

8.       Our German defensive wall, Per Mertesacker, is nothing like the pundits were telling us. He is sharp, reads the game very well, and wins the ball without fouls (do you remember his committing a foul?!). And the man loves Arsenal, and he showed it by saying “I waited a year to join Arsenal”. A pretty nice addition to the team, don’t you think?

9.       Both Song & Gervinho have learnt to go through a game without duly receiving their red cards. Amen to that!

10.   Tevez is a spoilt brat, and all those paying him 220,000 Pounds a week for refusing to play are egomaniacs who have lost the plot on their way to their vanity project.

11.   Cesc seems to be enjoying life in Barcelona so far, nice to see the boy reach his dream. They say he has a telepathic connection with Messi, which must be really nice… For Barca fans!

12.   Wenger enjoys the game a lot more from the stands! May be he should try it more often, as I’m really starting to worry for the old man’s health during some games.

13.   Liverpool are in crisis! All that money on that Carroll fellow, and look at his showing on the field. The Kenny effect is starting to lose its shine. I’m not sure if this is something we learnt this week or the week before, but it’s nice to say it any way!  (Actually might I interject as editor here.  We have learned this week that the previous American owners are suing Liverpool in the English courts for $1bn.  We don’t know the details yet, but this does mean that Liverpool are struggling to get any bank finance for anything – and will do until the case is over – Tony)

14.   The good people of Untold are a bunch of cool cucumbers! They were the only ones talking sense during last week’s senseless hysteria after the B’Burn game.  It’s nice to know people that don’t lose perspective, even in the worst of times.

15.   Mancini is slowly but surely losing the plot!

16.   Santos is better than we all imagined. He may still need more time, but he seemed very composed slotting his first goal for Arsenal.

16.5           Finally, we learnt this week that losing 4-3 to B’Burn with 2 own goals is not, repeat not, the end of the world.

Keep it real my fellow Gooners, and keep it loud when we meet Sp#rs at the weekend!

Sammy The Snake

Untold Arsenal on Twitter @UntoldArsenal

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18 comments to 16.5 Things We Learnt This Week

  • Len

    Hahaha. Priceless. Now lets do the dirty on the spuds! Let’s go polar bear.

  • Sammy The Snake

    Before anyone corrects me, point 3 should real EPL game, not CL!
    My appologies in advance.

  • Sammy, you can make mistakes if you make people laugh. Third rule of writing.

  • eldiablo

    Very glad to hear that someone thinks of the 2011 Arsenal team in the same way as i do…the team i not bad at all…just wait for the to gel even more in the coming games. Remember: Arsenal had lots of first team players missing on the champions league game and we still won…a win is a win regardless of anything that happens in the pitch…against Blackburn we were very unlucky for the 2 own goals but we lost fairly, Arsenal is way past that now and bring on the derby this weekend !

  • Shard

    “They say he (Cesc) has a telepathic connection with Messi”…..

    Xavi cries into his pillow.

  • deen nigeria..

    hope we beat spurs we need a lot of luck especially against mike dean

  • Prasanna Veeraraghavan

    @ Eldiablo:

    We lost fairly against Blackburn for two own goals and an offside goal. If this is fairness then I would say Pakistan means it is eradicating terrorism!!!

  • Woolwich Peripatetic

    How annoyed do people think Arteta is right now? He’s clearly good enough to play for any top European side and probably past his peak too. Unlike Cesc who probably has six years at the top at least to make people say “Xavier Hernandez? Don’t you mean Javier Hernandez?” Everton fans have been saying his performances weren’t as good after that big injury, perhaps sadly it was the team rather than the player to blame.

  • Dave Right

    Nice to see people getting into the mood for Sunday. Here’s a re-mix of Szczesny v Bale with that aim in mind.

  • bob

    Re your point 10:
    MandaCity’s golden contract with Tevez is the Midas Touch in action. Even MandaCity cannot eat, drink or breathe what has turned into gold, and will implode. As the cliche goes, be careful of what you wish for, you may just get it.

  • pak

    Why the eff that veeranna panna bloke lets pakistan into this,., that’s a footie blog n tony + walter must do sumthng against it! Why ??? Does it make anythng better on the blog?? Bloody retard

  • pak

    Why am i in moderation??

  • pak

    Oh….. N COYG, 3-0 rvp hatrick

  • bob

    Does anyone know the name of the jorno who had the press Conference interchange with Arsene who told him you’ve been consistent in wanting me to leave (while I [Arsene] have been consistent in wanting to stay)? I think the date of the press conference was 9/24? Can anyone ask anyone who might have been there? The story has been largely unreported and allowed to die in the media, but it matters. Anyone?

  • pak…

    The moderation rules are set out in several places on this site, for put simply, everyone posting for the first time is held in moderation until cleared by one of the 4 moderators. Also all posts with links in are held in moderation until cleared.

    As for allowing comments in… We try and allow all comments in, unless they are utterly off topic, utterly abusive, simple statements of opinion with nothing really to back them up in terms of logic or argument or contain matter that could get us arrested. That’s not strictly adhered to, but that’s roughly how it goes.

  • Domhuaille

    Prasanna Veeraraghavan…… about leaving petty regional squabbling and insults out of this blog please? We all know the histroy of Pakistan and India but if we wanted to be reminded of it we’d go to CNN! Stick to Football analogies please like ¨if this is fairness then Dean must despise the Totts and Webb the Mancs, or better still then Septic Bladderfull must have won the Times most Untouchable/incorruptable President Award¨

  • LRV

    Hear! Hear!! Sammy.