Away to Alain Le Pardieu de Newcastle; watching paint

One year to the day after Arsenal 7 Newcastle 3 we meet them again.   There’s a link to last year’s fun and games at the end.

Matters Everyone’s Favourite Pundit

Some say that listening to Michael Owen is similar to watching paint dry. I was one of these until quite recently, where awkwardly I offended an influential figure in the Drying Paint Observer’s Society – “don’t liken our respectable, yet much-maligned pastime to that… twat”, he demanded!

“Sorry,” I replied…

So from this point on, it occurred to me: listening to Michael Owen was in fact more like listening to paint dry…

Ramsey’s injury might not be a terrible thing. His form has dropped slightly and if there’s a position we can afford injuries… it is centre mid. It also improves the prospects for Cazorla and Wilshere, whose confidence will be boosted, knowing they are more likely to start.

Creative players need confidence like snow needs the cold. Without it they melt, becoming wet and irritating.

Against West Ham, Cazorla showed glimpses of his previous form. His game was less inhibited and operating centrally alongside Arteta, gave us a Spanish-like control. It might have been against West Ham, but it’s a kind of patience I haven’t seen in recent weeks.

It’s nice to have Podolski back as well. With him you get the composure of 100+ German caps – at no point does he look worried as he hasn’t a bloody thing to prove.

“Podolski why did you do that?” – someone might say to a strange decision. At which point he’ll turn, look them in the eye and show them a notebook (he takes everywhere) recording his appearances for Germany. Bit of a longwinded affair I agree – I’d just tell them to “Piss off”! But that’s what I like about Podolski… he deals in figures.

With Newcastle there is no middle ground and it seems that each game throws up a peculiar result. They’ll beat Chelsea one week and then lose heavily to Swansea the next. Lately though, their form seems to have settled and Alain Le Pardieu is all the more slimy for it.

Tiote, the man who ruined my only ever trip to the Emirates, returns after a ban, so I expect he’ll make a heavy-handed nuisance of himself.

I make our team as such:


            Sagna               Per              Koscielny/Verm          Gibbs

                                    Flamini           Wilshere

                   Cazorla                      Ozil               Walcott                        


Bit of a rash call on Podolski perhaps; it probably won’t happen. Koscielny should be back from injury, but it would be a shame to drop Vermaelen after a few strong performances. Walcott has made my fantasy football team, so massive congratulations to him! Flamini rotating with Arteta wouldn’t be a bad move either; he speaks French, is a massive nutcase and will no doubt be able to irritate people.

Pos. Team P W D L GD Pts
1 Man City 19 13 2 4 33 41
2 Arsenal 18 12 3 3 18 39
3 Chelsea 18 11 4 3 15 37
4 Liverpool 18 11 3 4 22 36
5 Everton 18 9 7 2 12 34
6 Man Utd 19 10 4 5 10 34
7 Newcastle 18 10 3 5 6 33

Footnote: Alan Pardew still insists that by refusing to sell Yohan Cabaye to Tottenham, after Cabaye went on strike supposedly to force a move to Arsenal, (although Arsenal never confirmed this) was a better deal than Arsenal buying Özil.   Pardew has even suggested that it was only because the bid for Cabaye was rejected that Arsenal bought Mesut Özil.

Cheers and gone,


Arsenal 7 Newcastle 3 – as seen by G460

And Walter’s take on it for Untold





106 Replies to “Away to Alain Le Pardieu de Newcastle; watching paint”

  1. Arsenal have won the most Premier League points in 2013, and their current 79-point tally in the year cannot be surpassed by any other side.

  2. In respect of Michael Owen, not only does he give an incredible lack of tactical insight, he actually drives me and my dad (28 & 54) mad with his limited vocabulary of repeating his now “trademark” catchphrase of

    “I’ll tell you what”.

    Quite honestly, I’ve not despised a football commentator as much since the World Cup 2010 and having to listen to mark lawrenson!!!

    Cannot believe there is not a facebook/petition to get rid of him already (rant over)!!!!!!

  3. “I’ll tell you what”, “I’ll tell you what”, “I’ll tell you what “I’ll tell you what”, “I’ll tell you what”, “I’ll tell you what” you get the picture (10+ times a game??)

  4. “listening to paint dry”
    C’mon now, mate. Somethin’ wrong with wet paint?!
    (- attributed to ‘Arry Redknapp)

  5. I’ll tell you what, Jacobite Gunner, I can’t wait for our boys to show him up for what an a*se he is and shove that stupid catchphrase down his throat.

  6. I feel we will get the result we need, Newcastle don’t park the bus the entire 90 minutes as they do tend to have a go and that’ll leave some nice space for our boys to exploit. COYG!

  7. Rosicky down in box first minute. No replay on Sky.

    The MOST BLATANT foul on Walcott in a really threatening attack. Nothing from linesman or referee. Both well placed to see it, within 10 metres from incident.

    Telly now turned off. Subscription to Sky will be cancelled. Sunny day. Lovely day for a nice walk.

  8. @marcus

    Can’t say I blame you tbh. Ref looks like he’s just another one of the rich boys pets.

    Turning over to watch the darts rather than this vile pantomime bulls**t that Sky flog their logs over.

  9. Yeah, Carzola was fouled two or three times and the ref just looked on. Right now another studs first challenge on Giroud and nothing given! This is outrageous

  10. Wow!
    Yellow for OG for a tap after allowing what’s gone on before.
    There is a surprise. Or maybe not.

  11. I don’t Have a lot of information about how one should judge the game, but this is just sh*t

  12. Ref just killed our fluent game, and the yellow card to Giroud
    After all those fouls on us without even mentioning!,
    God! I’m angry!

  13. @Persian gunner
    Refs got his instructions and his bung. Result decided before the match even started, barring a major upset.

    Only way to rock the boat is financially. If enough people start to realize that the EPL is bent they’ll lose supporters and backers. Lets hope the news spreads far enough.

  14. Newcastle allowed to kick Arsenal players with no yellows and hardly even a free kick – other way round? Free kick and bookings

    Surely Arsenal have to launch an investigation into the xmas period refereeing.

  15. Sorry Finsbury, are you saying cisokho would’ve scored had he not been fouled? I don’t think so, contact was minimal and it was outside the box and we had all our defenders in the box.

  16. Yes, I think we will see Tiote get booked around that time Finsbury. Although he could and should have had at least two yellows. And Williamson should be off for that stamp on Giroud’s ankle

  17. This is not 12 against 11
    This is 11 against another 11 who are tied up!
    How can we play our game in this situation?!

  18. Al @ 3.17

    No! Just a foul. I was just happy to get a(ny) call in Arsenal’s favour.
    Hopefully it all, er, evens out in the second half!

  19. We started brilliantly and the ref tyrned the game what a total s**t. This is not acceptible. Cazorla was on fire up until he was beaten. Its a disgrace we have to keep playing against those refs.

  20. Our boys are playing well today. If only Probert would do his fucking job by officiating fairly.

    How the hell did Giroud get a yellow for that when an injury inducing stamp on his feet was not even called a foul?

  21. @Bootoomee as you know I am not one to usually agree with you and call cheat too soon, but that first half was one of the most disgraceful I have seen for some time.

    The ref is just waiting for a big decision he can give against Arsenal – a sending off or penalty – and whilst he is waiting he is allowing Newcastle players to harry and foul without punishment, but the other way around he is calling everything for Newcastle.

    He is massively influencing the flow of the game and just biding his time to win it for Newcastle. I don’t hold out much hope for any points today.

  22. @Persian gunner
    It’s pretty obvious now.

    Watching the darts highlights atm, i’d rather smash my balls with a club hammer than watch this bent crap.

    The EPL is just a WWE cast-off designed to tickle the nads of gullible plastics.

    Checking the score on the net once or twice a half is the most I can bring myself to do.

  23. Now I have to tolerate all these nonsense from the most idiot commentatory of my country Sport channel, talking about Arsenal trophy issues and with their fetish of supporting sirrrrrrrrr Alex ferg
    He is gone you idiots! And for the record: this is an Atsenal game!

  24. Probert no surprise, letting Newcastle get away with everything.
    After the game the count will be even and people will say same old paranoid arsenal fans but they forget at over half of the blatant fouls by Newcastle not even called.

  25. Hmm, the ref’ll be sweating a bit now. 1-0 to Arsenal? That wasn’t what he was paid for!

    I wonder what he’ll do now?

  26. Probert has done well even if AFC win….by the end of the season we will be struggling to field a fit 11

  27. @marcus

    I’m guessing that the second instruction that the ref has is to sit back and let the legbreakers and knuckle-draggers go thundering in and take Arsenal players out, the more serious the injury the better from their perspective.

    This will make any team that threatens the rich boys little cartel a target for this. Arsenal are simply the most threatening target atm, a threat to their little scam.

    If Arsenal were mid-table and staying there we wouldn’t notice anything too bent unless playing City, Chavski etc.

  28. Greaaaat win! Top of the league at half way point after 19 games. This was a mature performance. Simply wonderful.

  29. Studs up full on fouls ‘playing the man’ from players charging in. Three in three games. No foul called on any of them. Nothing new, remember the ‘bruised bones’ etc.? It’s a long list.

    Well played The Arsenal. Excellent time wasting tactics from the ‘keeper there 🙂

  30. This is a great time to complain vociferously, because the tards can’t trot out the ‘sore loser’ line

  31. We are top. Iff Arsenal win against Cardiff at home on New Year’s Day, my predictions would all come true!

  32. Wenger just acknowledged going 5 at the back in the end of the game. Things have changed so much!

  33. Well done the team, another important win and three points despite bent officials.

    This was a very determined performance from the team in a very difficult match. Newcastle are a good team, who unfortunately on occasion resort to thug tactics when they know the ref will let them get away with it.

    Lets hope Gibbs is OK. Has anyone any news about him?

  34. I think Wenger was at least partly playing to the ref when he conceded possession to Newcastle and played 5 in defense.

    If we don’t have the ball then they can’t kick the crap out of us as easily?

  35. Folks,

    This for me is the most nerve-wrecking game of the season. To be fair to Probert, he did not fall for all the Newcastle players’ penalty antics.


    Please say it loud and clear.

    No ifs, no buts, please let’s lay off the players today. They are all men of the match in my book.

  36. @Kampala a Suarez masterclass?

    Personally I would like to see Wikileaks throwing in a few interesting documents relating to the EPL … but I think this would be very low down on their priorities. Mind you, Putin cracked a joke about English Football.

    What next, Mario Draghi declaring Spain bankrupt, and folding the Spanish League?

  37. Well done Arsenal.

    It’s amazing that they can come through with a win despite all that’s being thrown at them. I’m glad I didn’t look at this thread during the game cos I was suffering. Twatto Waddle was co commentator on my feed. Full of bollocks, as always.

    A friend rang me and said DeBuusy was MOTM. This can’t be true, surely? For me, MOTM was Rosicky. Oh my God, I didn’t think he could do all he done for 90 mins.

    We just need a new GK, DM, CF, blah blah blah.

    Come on Arsenal. You really make me proud.

  38. Bootoomee
    Me too bro
    I have back muscle spasms and can’t feel my legs!
    It was a bit of disagreement between me and Mr Wenger at the last moments of the game about changing tactics as I believe we should have a player or plan to take the ball away to their field instead of letting ourselves prone to their attacks!
    Now I think fatigue could be a serious issue to do such thing 🙂

  39. Giroud is running on empty – we need a striker… news just in that France are going to tax top earners 75% of their income… backdated!

    Get that bid in for Cavani now 😉

  40. That moment young Jenkinson delayed to through the ball to Bentner while their keeper was still away from the box!
    I shouted so load as I was trying to let him know about Bentner standing there!

  41. Persian gunner,

    So it wasn’t just me 🙂 ? I couldn’t even celebrate the goal because I suspected that Probert would help them to find a goal somehow based on how he was letting them get away with murder on the pitch.

    I celebrated like a lunatic after the final whistle.

    Wenger’s tactics today’s strange but it worked. Newcastle huffed and puffed but our back was well reinforced and we dealt well with all their attacking forays.

    I am sooooo happy.

  42. @Marcus, do you think weakleaks can get us some stuff! It would be very interesting,@ Persian gunner it would have been great but I think the Prof told him that whenever we get a breather let as take it.

  43. WOO HOO HOO ! Top of the EPL ( Which is NOT fixed !Wink ! Wink!), 42 points and in no immediate danger of relegation!
    Next, at least enough points for a top ten finish ,and if the body count is low , maybe a top 4 finish and the same old , same old CL place !
    ” Arsene doesn’t do tactics ?” You could have fooled me !
    Do hope that Chelski and Liverpuddle drop points to day .
    Up the Gunners !

  44. Persian gunner,

    I went through 4 different emotions over 2-3 seconds:

    1st – was ‘uh oh’, what have you done Szczesney?

    2nd – was sorrow as I thought the ball was rolling in

    3rd – was HUUUUUUUGE relieve to see it go wide

    4th – was anger at our beloved keeper. But I forgave him immediately. I know that no one was more disappointed than him at that point. Besides, I make mistakes at work too.

    Plus, he kind of compensated me by taking his time to take that last goal kick :-).

  45. Modified to suit this article !

    Last Weeks of Life…

    A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, ” We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.”

    “Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.”

    Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you
    only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?”

    A gentleman said, ” I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.”

    “Very good!” ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

    One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.”

    “That”s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

    But one AKB in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, “I would go to Micheal Owen’s house for the 4 weeks.”

    Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, “Why Micheal Owen’s home?”

    “Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life!

    The joke as it was …here..

  46. Jayram, I think foreign players in Monaco don’t pay tax, how will this be reflected in this new ruling?

  47. I think Probert gave more than the 4 minutes of extra time. The radio presenters on Arsenal Player were near Screaming that the 4 minutes had elapsed. (I went like this: The ref is looking at his watch… The ref is looking at his watch… Surely it’s 4 minutes now…Well, surely it’s time now…One last throw in for Newcastle… At last the whistle and it’s over.)

    A real dossier on the leg-snapper Probert ought to be compiled and filed in evidence to charges by AFC for premeditated and/or willful and/or de facto assault on (with intent to destroy) and devalue AFC’s property – that is, attempt to destroy the possibility of doing its normal business by denying us the health of players that can fulfill their contracts. Any legal folk hereabouts: are there any legal grounds for such a claim? And, in any case, especially as match winners, is it not high time for a petition? And to bring the tsunami of red cards to the next match at the Ems and call out these crime scene managers from continuing the refshite that is also devaluing the worth of the ticket-paying public.

  48. Bootomee
    Fair play to Probert for not giving the toons anything for diving?
    humph, well he made a mess of everything else.

  49. Font
    No he wasn’t equally bad.
    and Bob – I think the contract Arsenal signed to be a constituent part of the EPB means they can’t go legal outside of the internal mediation procedures for any grievance.

  50. Double canister,

    I’m not praising Probert by any means but having lived through that Dowd inspired 4-0 to 4-4 debacle, and with the way Probert was acting today, I guess I was just plain overjoyed that he, at least, did not give them a penalty in spite of their efforts.

    Probert was awful but he did not go out of his way to influence the result. It is a sad testament to the terrible state of officiating in the EPL that I have to be giving him credit for that.

  51. Double canister
    I suggest you watch the match back on sky as I am sure you was not at the match you can judge how bias a ref is by the reaction of the home crowd and let me tell you they were not happy with mr probert the only thing I took exception to was no card for tiote

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