Crystal Palace at Home | Pulis and The Hat

It was once sung that “Tony Pulis is a wanker, he wears a wanker’s hat...’, which needless to say isn’t your textbook piece of lyricism, even if it’s descriptive. A clumsy blow made heavily, if you will. In its heaviness it stumbles upon a profundity that is rarely acknowledged.

Tony Pulis is indeed a wanker, but he also wears a hat. In a sense, it tells you this: saying Tony Pulis is a wanker is a bit like saying Tony Pulis wears a hat. Or that Tony Pulis wears spectacles.

Crystal Pulis (you can keep that one) visit the Emirates today with the Pulis Factor in full flow. The table doesn’t lie; the chap has done a remarkable job. Which was the worrying thing from the beginning, somehow I knew he would. His style is abhorrent, but it just works. Scoring hinges on many variables colliding favourably at the right moment, but defending often hinges on a person’s boot/head colliding favourably with a ball. Of course there are nuances to it – but the long and short of it is: it’s easier to defend than attack.

Which, is partly why many professional defenders are converted attackers. A player can move down the pitch, a midfielder can become a defender, a striker can become a winger, but it is far harder to move the other way. A centre back moving into midfield is rarely a good thing (as David Luiz has shown these past few weeks).

Our injury problems have been growing like the industrious weed. Ramsey relapsed in recovery and Wilshere is still out with an ankle problem. On a positive note: Rosicky returns (wearing a mask) and Cazorla has emerged unscathed from the Southampton game.

Hard team to guess, but it might look like this:


 Jenko                 Mert                  Koz             Gibbs

                            Arteta               Rosicky

 Chambo                       Ozil              Cazorla/Podolski


Though improving, Crystal Palace have not quite reached the rigorously organised level that Stoke managed. He’s only been at Palace for a few months, so some of the braver players might have retained fragments of their individuality. It is also comforting that Tony Pulis Teams tended to struggle on a perfect pitch, with ball boys without towels.

Always a pleasure,

Your man in the Car Park.



70 Replies to “Crystal Palace at Home | Pulis and The Hat”

  1. Mourineeo said something like

    it is just a coincidence, and I stress, it is just a coincidence, but Manchester City have been getting a lot of favourable mistakes

  2. pu·li
    [pool-ee, pyoo-lee]
    one of a Hungarian breed of medium-sized sheepdogs having long, fine hair that often mats, giving the coat a corded appearance.

  3. @Mr.Brickfields,
    Presumably the addition of the suffix ‘s’ to a word ending with an ‘i’, instantly reverses the meaning to its logical opposite in the hungarian language viz. Puli- folically overendowed dreadlocked dog, Pulis – balding c*nt(p*ssy), it just makes sense, doesn’t it?

  4. Watching Stoke turnover united last night it struck me their strength comes from their fans who are masters of mass ribaldry,they were superbly merciless, losing at Stoke must take some getting over!

  5. @ Ugandan Goon – of course it does ! What’s you take on “The penis mightier than the sword ” ?

  6. Mourinho :

    “It’s just a coincidence, but the reality is they (MC) have had many crucial decisions in their favour this season. They are lucky. Against Liverpool, there was a goal disallowed, and a possible penalty for a foul on Luis on Suarez. Against Newcastle there was a goal that was a clear goal. Against Tottenham, another goal disallowed against them, they get a penalty and Tottenham a red card. They are having everything. I repeat: it just pure coincidence. The referees do their best, and sometimes they make mistakes, and normally during the season the mistakes level out. But at the moment City have everything in their favour.”

    Against Arsenal they escaped a red or two, and had a linesman who needed recalibrating by about 2 metres.

    So diplomatic Jose….

  7. Victor Anichebe scores on an “assist” from ex-Gunner, Kolo Toure.

    Three websites announced the supposed lineups. Sports Mole has Palace’s lineup, nothing about Arsenal. Here is the City has their “CONFIRMED” lineup, where all 11 positions on the field and the subs is “TBC”. And finally, some website that insists I have javacrap running in order to view the lineup, is perfectly readable with w3m. Their guess is: Szczesny, Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal, Arteta, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Ozil, Podolski and Giroud, with Fabianski, Jenkinson, Gibbs, Rosicky, Zelalem, Gnabry and Bendtner on the bench. Okay, Sports Mole confirms that now. So, no rest for the Sagna. 🙂

    I hope you get to see the game, I’ll just read about it again.

  8. Really strange. Just seen a supposed title contender come away with an away draw from a tricky opponent. What’s really wierd, cannot see any evidence of a twitter or media meltdown, we’ll not yet anyway. No Rogers out calls, or Henderson is not fit to wear the shirt. Despite missing out on Jan transfer targets, no chants of Ian Ayre, what the fcuk do you do?What’s wrong, don’t these Liverpool types have an AAA or something? Maybe some realise you cannot win every game, heaven forbid! Can’t be proper fans….can they?

  9. I don’t think Andrew ruled out the chance of a penalty, but the BBC had this to say in the first half:

    > 16:26: PENALTY APPEAL- Arsenal 0-0 Crystal Palace

    > Arsenal still trying to find a killer pass – twice getting into the penalty area, but twice being denied off by brave blocks. However, I’ve just seen a replay of a corner where Nile Jedinak looked to have three arms and four legs wrapped around Olivier Giroud. That’s a penalty for me…

    I gather the referee has been instructed no penalties for Arsenal.

  10. What a load of TOSH…..



  11. Please, a second half start like the one to southamptons. Anyway stats show that we are always better attacking in second half, hope it remains true.

  12. Laboured and slow but 3 points gained. Arsene must be so relieved. I am astonished that he did not give teh subs a run after teh 2nd goal straight away. I am not certain we can win at Anfield…maybe a draw. Gnabry will start. I wonder what Arsene is thinking after teh Kalstim debacle and insult.

    We have blown a glorious chance to show the league that we want to win the premiership. We did not sign a single fit player and loaned out and sold others. Man City must be over teh moon….the blue moon.

    Come on Le Professuer – show us some leadership and none of that negative gallic stubborness.


  13. Back where we belong. Oiler points to be dropped tomorrow. Another game where we seemed to conserve a bit of energy first half, much better second half performance, well done Ox, another good assist for Giroud. We needed to be patient , they had a very very defensive setup.
    Apparently ox and MA limping,at the end, please no more injuries to CMs.

  14. A team parks the bus (no problem with that in Palaces situation).

    We keep playing our football and get yet another 2-0 win and 3 points.

    What’s not to like?

    Oh wait a minute where’s Sperez and co, I’m sure they’ll have there own very special take on it !!!

  15. Our third “not so secret weapon” the OX is back. Wished him a hat trick.
    With so many injuries, we would be struggling a few seasons ago, now look at the squad step up twice already this season, and now the third time begins. We have so improved, for some not fast enough, (me included when we’re losing).
    We now have to be strong in Feb and play to win.
    Still think we look like we are on a mid flame, time to turn up the heat in Feb.
    Come on.

  16. Their new found defensive capabilities should not be underestimated, they could have easily got a recent draw at middle eastlands. That’s,why we had to wait for our chance today.

  17. Overall a very sound performance, two good goals against the Pulis Bus Co, a clean sheet, three points and back to the top – provided no injuries a great afternoon!

  18. Another rather excellent and key save from Szcz, he has improved so much. Quite a few home clean sheets this season, long may it continue.

  19. I agree (a little bit) with Ronnie Lott. These are worrying times. Yeah yeah we are top. But dont any of understand that this is the best chance we havorced,e to win the league? Our squad is not strong enuff. We should have reinforced. We will blow it sooner or later. Ozil…WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY. A LUMP. I am saying what ALL of you are thinking.

    Liverpool will beat us in teh league then we will bounce back in the cup then ManUre will kick us to high heaven, we will scrape a draw BUt we will have so many injuries.

    Arsene you are a disgrace.

  20. There are going to be some intense relegation battles. 5 points separates 10th and 18th. Games against any team in the bottom half are going to be interesting, as at some point, parking the bus won’t be an option. Outside of Chelsea tomorrow, this could be the last game the bus comes to for any team. Or would Chelsea be parking the bus at home to us in March?

  21. @ ronie…”We have blown a glorious chance to show the league that we want to win the premiership. We did not sign a single fit player and loaned out and sold others.”

    I thought winning games will show people we are in it to win it. When was the last time a transfer window decided who won the league???….

  22. @ARSENAL 13.

    Can u see the wood from the trees? We have a massive run of games – we needed reinforcements.
    Walcott is injured – we have no back up centre fwd either. Arteta is a slow lazee lump.
    We have no decent centre back after the SACK and the KoZ.

    BUT We do have the best right back in EUROPE maybe the world. SAGNA I hope u are not playing out of your skin just to win a contract.

  23. Last time Wenger had a horrendous transfer window, he panic bought


    And Jenkinson

    What a catastrophic series of purchases!

    It is now hard to find better EPL players than AFC’s back 6

    Sagna Per Koz Gibbs

    Very few EPL players can challenge that configuration…

  24. @ Ronnie Lott

    “Can u see the wood from the trees?”

    Depends on the height of the trees as well as the extent of the wood.

    “…we have no back up centre fwd either”

    We have Bendtner and Sanogo (who’s just come back into training) as well as midfielders who score goals.

    “Arteta is a slow lazee lump”

    No he’s not. If you want to make offesnsive remarks about our players, you’ve stumbled into the wrong website – plenty of other more suitable sites to choose from.

    “SAGNA I hope u are not playing out of your skin just to win a contract”

    Probably not, but so what if he is? It’s stellar performances between now and the end of the season that we’re interested in, and not too fussed about the motivation for such performances.

  25. To think, the AAA started the day with such hope, the Kallstrom thing seemed to have them buzzing, but the day ends TOTL

  26. Ronnie, where have you been. Nothing I like more than a good positive poster popping up after a nice win.

    I bet you’re a barrel of laughs after a defeat !!!!

  27. Oh Ronnie, you look like a smart genius football expert, come on tell us how lazy was Arteta all this year, how bad he was, how a thousand players are better than him in his position, come on start your b*****t….
    If the spain nationl coach like it or not, but Arteta deserve to be there in front of all the players who play in his position, today, he was MOTM for me, best player in our team for last 2 seasons, plus this one, I wish Wenger could find a better player to play in his position so he could come more forward and play the brilliant passes, like the one to Podolski in the first half, and the lob to Giroud in the second, but I guess No One, and I mean NO ONE can cover his position as good as he does. Of you cant see this, please stop trying to be an expert and start your moaning up here, there is a lot of stupid blogs out there which consider you a brilliant pundit/expert/you name it…..

  28. Am full of respect for those Crystal Palace Supporters, they were rocking today… Maybe some AAAs need to learn how to Support their team from those up there…or are they so thick to get it.

  29. Back to the match- Amazing (not really) that more Palace players not booked. Giroud was assaulted repeatedly from the very start, including in the penalty area! So a further demonstration of the PGMOL rule that Arsenal are not to be awarded penalties.

    Then Mertesacker gets a yellow for his first “foul”!

  30. Dear Goonners,
    I am just saying as how I see it. It might be offensive to some lilly livered folks but I stand by every thing I have said thus far. And in a sense I am glad that you are all sticking together to berate me. I proves that you are closing ranks to paper over the bloody obvious cracks.

    BOTTOM line we are top but we are just one injury from imploding. Just one. If we do not get the setback then we can rival teh money bags and the bus parkers.

    Arsene, you have just taken the most cocky risk EVER…..coming out as ZERO players in, in the transfer window.

    And I do not just keep blindly giving Arsene blanket accolade after accolade when he does not deserve them.

    Till nest time….

    Ronnie L.

  31. I am sure Lief has an opinion on this win…he is just putting his fingers through their warm-up routine before hitting the keyboards.

  32. Runty Lot of BS… mean until next time,right? You are entitled to your opinion but your prediction that we’ll ¨implode¨ if we get one more injury are patently stupid and irrational. We’ve haven’t imploded after a series of rotating injuries to key players, BECAUSE, unlike your limited intellectual grasp of reality,Wenger knows he has sufficient backup and scoring options available and is pursuing a clever and careful rotation against each Club we face.
    Actually other top 4 teams have done the same thing, none or only 1 transfer during the TW and look how much their big buy helped United against Stoke!
    Nobody is blind here, except you, with all vision cut off because your head is stuck so far up your ass that you think it is eternal night outside and you are also shit-headed.

  33. Ha ha ha,@OMGArsenal.

    Resorting to aggressive verbal tirades. The truth really hurts.


  34. Nice read from Ronnie.
    My thoughts exactly. Le Prof should be very disappointed that the team he put out won. If not, he should know that the win disappointed smart, analytical and clairvoyant gooners like us who know that though Chelsea lost 2points this week to West Ham’s packed bus and are currently 4 points behind us with about two-thirds of the games played, they are bound to finish above us because they were more active than us in the summer and winter transfer windows. And, though Liverpool couldn’t get past West Brom this week and are now 8 points behind us, they will beat us silly next week because we didn’t buy any CM or striker in the winter window.
    If Wenger was really in synch with the us real fans, his should have hanged head down in shame at the post match press conference…he should have focused on the impending loss against Liverpool in the yet to be played game, coming up next week.

  35. @Wally….

    Being top does not hurt me…..our pathetic transfer window work hurts me and should hurt you too.

    Only time will tell. But I hope I am wrong. I speculate, alwas, I shant be.


  36. Ronnie. Are you surprised? You come onto a pro Arsenal, pro Wenger site after a good win and going top, spouting nothing but negativity, doom and gloom, and you get a bit of abuse.

    Come on are you really surprised?

    If your honest with yourself you’re just a Troll aren’t you.

    Why are you here if not just to stir shit ?

  37. You can have a bit of anagram fun with Ronnie Lott’s name. How about Rotten Loin for starters.

  38. Fella’s,
    I aint a Troll. I am just venting after the most timid and insulting transfer window of recent times that we just conducted.
    But u all keep on saying that it is kool for kats. well it aint.

  39. @jambug

    I have considered putting similar questions to some our our persistent AAA sewer rats, usually I don’t bother – they will not have an answer.

    I have noted on several occasions that when the AAA cannot attack Wenger on team performances they change tactics and attack transfer policies or lack of spending etc.

    There seems to be two categories of AAA, the semi brain dead troll type and secondly a more cunning purpose driven propagandist – still working on the objective of removing Wenger from the club.

  40. Ronnie, you’re a troll. There are a zillion other places where what you are saying would be agreed upon by all and sundry. You chose to come here instead and troll.

  41. @gord.
    Amazing. Most of u just want to self congratlate. But I am trying to explain to u that all is not well. So that is a troll.


  42. The way this Ronnie fellow has panicked, I’m wondering if Arsenal have just been relegated.
    What a load of nerves!!!

  43. Ronnie Lott
    Our transfer window acquisition maybe disappointing but only on the surface. In reality , it was a stroke of genius by Wenger.

    With Sanogo nearing full fitness , Walcott , Ramsey and Diaby were again one short of four, for their weekly bridge session , which Wenger insists All Arsenal players partake in as it exercises the frontal cortex , responsible for decision making.

    I hear , Kallstrom is quite brainy 🙂

  44. @Rotten Loin, sorry Ronnie Clott
    It is very noble and considerate of you trying to explain your common sense reasons why all is not well with Arsenal, but you are wasting your time, we are all very thick on this site and unable to comprehend the logic behind your in depth arguments. Keep trying though, if you can persuade just one of us to see sense it will have been worth your time and effort.

  45. Hey Ronnie now that The Ox is really back…he feels like a new signing. Great transferwindow

  46. Perhaps “Runny Clott”? – it would encompass an appropriate sense of contradiction and confusion?

  47. It is a disgrace that Wenger did not buy Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Draxler, Diego Costa, Paul Pogba, and Lewandowski. As a fan from overseas, I do not mind if ticket holders were to pay a 200% increase in ticket prices. I also would not mind if we play very poorly but pay off the PGMOL so we can win the title without meriting it. It is all about money, after all. Whining fans like those on this website/blog should shut up and put up.

  48. are people annoyed that we dint sign Draxler???… May be we’ll sign him one day but, or may be we’ll not.

    Gnabry. Know him anybody??? Or is the 37 million price tag blinding you???

  49. So let me get this straight , the AAAA are not happy because we didn’t pay 37 million pounds for an injured inexperienced 22 year old German midfielder who is CL cup tied , but are really pissed off at AW for taking on loan an injured but experienced Swedish midfield who is not only not CL cup tied and we don’t pay anything utill he’s fit to play ?
    Just checking out the facts aloud !

  50. Brickfields,
    the injured inexperienced 22 year old is only 20 years old 😉
    Now tell us what have you been drinking (too much?) after our win last night? 😉

  51. Walter , after a glass of wine ( before the game – women looked prettier and the men more wiser ! But the crappy commentators sobered me soon enough !

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