Sutton v Arsenal part 2: the teams, the gibberish, the snippets and injury news.

Posted on by Tony Attwood

By Tony Attwood

Being in Australia, as I still am for a few more days, I am fairly dependent on news from Untold and the newspapers on line to follow football.

Today, I read in the Daily Mirror “After Lincoln and Millwall upset the odds in Saturday’s cup ties, the internet’s many comedians turned their attention to Arsenal’s clash at Sutton”

So I scroll down to find the joke and find myself looking at

“At which bank do you have a personal everyday transaction, savings, or term deposit account?”

Now I must admit I didn’t find that very funny, so I meandered around a bit and eventually realised that no, this was not a surreal answer to the question above but a question I must answer to have the privilege of reading their commentary.  I chose not to.  I mean it is bad enough having to read newspaper fake football news for Untold, but to have to answer a question before I am allowed to?  The Mirror is laughing at my reflection.  Or the other way around.

Anyway, no one wants to talk about the last round of the FA Cup because, hush, don’t tell anyone, Arsenal won.   Which is why we are in the FA again.   I think the media would prefer us to think that Arsenal got here through a couple of byes – the opposition not turning up that sort of thing.

Anyway, here are a few snippets from the last FA Cup match Arsenal played.

  • Theo Walcott scored his fifth Arsenal hat-trick in the match v Southampton, and was the first Arsenal player to score a hat trick in the cup since March 2011.   That previous explooit came from Nicklas Bendtner against Leyton Orient.
  • Danny Welbeck scored and assisted in Southampton for the first time in the same game since September 2014 against Aston Villa.
  • Arsenal won an away game by five clear goals for the first time since August 2009   That was the league opener against Everton – the one in which the TV cameras had set up shots of Everton’s ex managers and players who were there, and kept running the shots leaving the commentators to say what a tragedy it was that they had to be there for this.  No one mentioned Arsenal’s brilliance because the prepared scripts didn’t include it.  The TV station (Sultana I think it was called) went bust a little later.
  • Lucas Perez has been involved in eight goals in eight starts for Arsenal in all competitions (five goals, three assists) and assisted Danny Welbeck’s first goal in this game.   That really is a wholly remarkable record.
  • Theo has scored seven goals in his last four away FA Cup matches.  That’s quite good too.

All of which gives us the idea that Theo and Lucas should play in this game.

But I get ahead of myself.  Let’s consider the Sutton team.  Obviously the normal details that we might have in match previews are not available, but we might care to think about Sutton United’s top scorers

Rank Player FA Cup League Total
1 Jamie Collins 1 6 7
2 Maxime Biamou 3 3 6
2 Roarie Deacon 4 2 6
2 Matt Tubbs 1 5 6
5 Nicky Bailey 0 5 5
5 Ross Stearn 2 3 5

So their top six ranked scorers have a total of 35 give or take a few as I don’t have a calculator in Oz and my phone is on re-charge.

According to the league table I think we are still the top scoring team, but that can’t be right because we are a total shambles and absolute rubbish and it must be because, being in Australia I am holding it upside down.  But one can only look at the figures…

Rank Player CL FA Cup Lge LC Total
1 Alexis Sánchez 3 0 17 0 20
2 Theo Walcott 3 3 8 0 14
3 Olivier Giroud 2 1 8 0 11
4 Mesut Özil 4 0 5 0 9
5 Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain 1 0 2 3 6
5 Lucas Pérez Martínez 3 0 1 2 6

Our top six and again this is going to be a fair old approximation what with everything being upside down…

66

But then Alexis probably won’t play.  And 66 is the first two thirds of the mark of the devil so we most certainly are utterly doomed.   Doomed!!!

However we must cover the injury situation.    According to EPL Index the situation with Sutton is

Sutton United do not have any injury worries and their manager Paul Doswell can choose from a full squad. Sutton have four former Arsenal players on their books and each of them will be looking to make a statement on Monday night. Craig Eastmond has completed his three-game ban in midweek and is free to play against his former club.

Bleacher report is also fairly generalised…

Expect him [the manager] to keep faith with a lineup as close as possible to the team that beat Leeds in the previous round.

Here is the PL chart.  You will see that as the media tell us daily Arsenal has a constant injury crisis.  Actually have you noticed they have stopped say that because now they have something else to beat us with.

# TEAM TOTAL INJURIES LATEST PLAYER INJURED INJURY
1 Hull City 10 D Mbokani Illness
2 Everton 7 A Lennon Illness
3 Southampton 7 S Boufal Ankle Injury
4 Liverpool! 7 D Sturridge Illness
5 Sunderland 7 J Rodwell Hamstring
6 Stoke City 6 P Bardsley Knock
7 Crystal Palace 6 S Dann Hamstring
8 State Aid United 6 A Cresswell Dead Leg
9 Manchester U 5 H Mkhitaryan Illness
10 Manchester C 5 A Kolarov Knock
11 Watford 5 C Kabasele Calf Strain
12 Burnley 5 J Gudmundsson Knock
13 Arsenal 4 L Koscielny Hamstring
14 Tiny Totts 4 H Kane Knee Injury
15 Swansea City 4 N Dyer Achilles
16 Bournemouth 4 Our Jack Ankle

Physioroom has our injuries as Lucas, Koscielny (both hamstrings), Ramsey (calf) and Santi.  But curiously, although we all know that hamstrings mean don’t do nothing for a couple of weeks, they say both players are only a minor doubt.  I think Lucas will play if he is fit, but Kos will be rested.

In the match against Southampton (which I note the media is refraining from mentioning, what with us not just winning but winning 0-5 and playing amazing football) we put out this team…

Oooooooooooooooospina

Bellerín  Mustafi  Holding  Gibbs

Oxlade-Chamberlain    Reine-Adelaide    Maitland-Niles

Walcott   Pérez   Welbeck

This was the beached bunch: Mertesacker, Gabriel, Sánchez, Iwobi, Monreal, Jenkinson, Martinez.

And here’s a comment, typical of that floating around several of the fake news outlets:

Mathieu Debuchy is set to be thrown back into Arsenal’s starting line-up for the Gunners’ clash with Sutton United in the FA Cup on Monday.

That from the Metro.  You will note: “thrown back into”.   As if the whole thing is chaos, no one knows anything, Arsenal are bottom of the league, and it was Arsenal who were beaten by Bradford in the FA Cup, not Chelsea.  (And yes of course Arsenal were beaten by Bradford in the League Cup on penalties, so let’s slip that one in and keep the Chelsea image pure).

I don’t know if the Debuchy thing is true, but assuming not we could do this…

David Ospina;

Gabriel Paulista, Rob Holding, Per Mertesacker, Nacho Monreal;

Mohamed Elneny, Ainsley Maitland-Niles;

Lucas Perez, Jeff Reine-Adelaide, Theo Walcott;

Danny Welbeck

Beached we would have Gibbs, Coquelin, Martinez, Giroud, Mustafi, Jenkinson, Iwobi.

But as always, it’s a guess and anyway I’m downside up.

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80 Replies to “Sutton v Arsenal part 2: the teams, the gibberish, the snippets and injury news.”

  1. Tony,

    Welback played for u23…So unlikely he’ll play today.

    Hahahaha. Funny how they use the words to make their articles catchy…

    Debuchy thrown in…..

  3. I think we will see Jenkinson at Right Back as he had a run out with the U23s last weekend. I also have a sneaky feeling that one of Alexis or Giroud’s will start up front.

    An outside bet would be for Eddie Nketiah to be given a space on the bench. He has recovered from injury and came on yesterday replacing Danny Wellbeck in the U23 game. Probably won’t happen but it can’t be far away.

  4. Hi Tony,

    Good line-up, but I believe Welbeck posted over the weekend he is not playing against Sutton because of their artificial pitch which is a risk for their knees.

    Maybe a chance for Giroud up front, and Nketiah or possible Fortune on the bench if healthy. Any updates on Sanogo? I remember there were pictures of him training prior to the Bayern match, so perhaps he’ll be on the bench also if healthy.

    Just hoping our players win, but more importantly come back safe.

  5. Honestly I want to see Debuchy and Sanchez starting in this our away Sutton FA Cup match tonight and Bellerin and some of our top Gunners too be rested for our up next Liverpool big PL game in 11 days time? Ibrahimovic is now on 24 goals in all competitions for Man Utd while Sanchez is 4 goals behind him with his 20 goals in all competitions. Therefore, I want Le Prof to start him for Sutton so that he can make up the lost ground he has lost in the goals scoring table to catch up with Ibrahimovic by scoring 4 goals in this Sutton match. I hope I don’t sound childish.

    My starts:
    Ospina
    Debuchy Holding Paulista Gibbs
    Maitland-Niles Chamberlain
    Adelaide Iwibo Perez
    Sanchez.
    My bench:
    Martinez Jenkinson Mustafi Monreal
    Xhaka Elneny Giroud.

    I hope to see Le Prof brings on Jenko, Elneny and Giroud at halftime so that the trio can contribute their own quotas to Arsenal’s 6-0 drubbing of Sutton

  6. 4 responses? What of my own awaiting moderation response which should be the fifth response. Okay, I understand. Please ignore the word ‘lost’ before ground.

  7. Sanogo was pictured at the training ground recently but on his own and well away from the main group. I can’t see him making any kind of contribution in the near future.

  8. I am looking forward to this fixture. In addition, I can’t believe all this rubbish about Arsenal players not looking forward to this fixture. I am sure they are aware of the pitch as they trained on a 3G surface the other day. As regards the rather rudimentary facilities, it is unlikely that they have forgotten where they came from nor that the club will not do all within its means to make sure that the players have what they need to perform well. It may well be a neat experience that they are looking forward to, for them to hear individual voices in the crowd.

  9. OT. Tucked faraway in one obscure part of DM today is the piece of news that Totteringham’s trophy drought now exceeds Arsenal’s between 2005 – 2014. Surprised that not a single journalist found the counting newsworthy prior to this time while Arsenal were regularly lampooned over a similar period of time and even beyond as they have only been able to win back to back the inconsequential FA trophy that only regained its glamour last season when Man United won it.

    Arsenal fans ought to wake up and see the hidden agenda. Other clubs lose matches and it is explained as a dip in form. Arsenal lose and it is the end of the world.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-4241728/How-long-Premier-League-clubs-won-major-honour.html

  10. Looking at Google News, here about 1 hour ahead of game time, I believe the “most relevant” news article is still about bashing Wenger. It is just sad.

  11. Ospina deserves to keep his place after last week. However, if the no 2 keeper plays in the cup games, Cech might be selected? Both will want to play as this is the golden chance of a medal this season.

  12. The lineup is on the twit thing.

    Ooooospina!
    Gabriel Mustafi Holding Monreal
    Elneny Xhaka
    Lucas Reine-Adelaide Iwobi
    Walcott

    Martinez, Debuchy, Mertesacker, Gibbs. Maitland-Niles, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Alexis

    COYG!

  13. Daily Star reporting team bus is stuck in traffic, game will be late in starting (probably).

    COYG!

  14. And Guardian is reporting that the team bus has arrived. So what do I, or the medja know? 🙂

    COYG!

  16. OMG.
    They are frothing at the mouth. Jeez, all i can hear is Arsenal’s misery, upset… spiraling down… fall apart… upset… and of course Sutton have a chance to pull off a miracle… upset… bla bla bla.

    Anyway lads, you know, no slip ups tonight, watcn the ref and be corteous, dont want a sending off even for the silliest reasons.

  21. Guardian has:

    > Eastmond challenges Monreal for the ball and tumbles in the box, but there’s no penalty given. And quite right too: let’s just say if that was Ashley Young who went down under little encouragement, you’d be hearing much more about it.

    Are you showing us some of that “real football” played in non-league there Eastmond?

    Surprised at the cheap shot on Young from a Manchester medja outlet.

    COYG!

  24. Should that goal be Theo assist???

    Had Theo not made a run like that…. Goalkeeper would’ve stopped it…

  26. Must be in their intructions, maybe it’s Ref Pokémon, they have to collect as many AFC players as possible

  28. That yellow…50-50.

    Referees give that. Hope we get the advantage when they do that too…

  29. These medja people seem to know how to observe, they just choose when they will do so. Guardian:

    > Collins goes right through Iwobi with one of those ‘hearty’ challenges that if it was in the Premier League, the commentators would call it a disgrace, but as it’s a little non-league team and bless them they’re trying, there was a little chuckle in the voice. Iwobi gets a kick on the shin, and was lucky to get away with only that. Not even a free-kick given.

    Do people collect a bounty for injuring players?

    COYG!

  30. Xhaka sent off for a far gentler challenge then that follow through on Iwobi.

    But he picked up an early yellow from Oliver in this half. For tugging in the opponents defensive third.

    Remarkable!

  32. The Collins tackle on Iwobi was a leg breaker & should have got a red card. The tackle though getting the ball followed through with studs first on the opponents shin.

  33. I am obviously glad we are leading but lets face it we have been piss poor in the first half.
    Xhaka is walking a tightrope, he is another yellow waiting to happen, I would take him off, it’s obvious he is a marked man with the refs now.

  37. Not long into the game, I decided to mention the name of the person in the middle. It is still in moderation.

    I still would like to see Lucas get a few today. There has been grumbling in the medja, supposedly from him, probably all made up.

    COYG!

  39. There was one dive (Eastmond I think), but that was about it. So it’s a bit unfair to call them “diving bastards”

  47. Leon, there was a dive in penalty area, then there was a dive which got Jeff a yellow, and it appeared shoulder-to-shoulder challenge adjudged against Monreal was also a dive (not sure about this one though)
    have to give them some kudos for not employing elbows though

  49. I haven’t seen any specific news on what is wrong with Elneny.

    The descriptions of Ox’s run were quite nice. And congratulations to Walcott on the century.

    COYG!

  51. Apparently not the reserve keeper. Guardian just put up a picture of him in the bar at half time.

    COYG!

  54. Collins on Alexis – a booking if ever there was one! But in typical English Referee style it’s ok, just don’t do that again. What a fucking heap of obviously racist bias.

  55. Good performance from the part timers they played to their strengths . Dirty game no way . Spurs in the semi ‘s I hope

  56. More impartial work noted by the Guardian about the man in the middle:

    > … patronises Sutton by not booking Collins, after he pushed Sanchez to the ground.

    COYG!

  61. The real magic of the cup…Is not some non league team winning against big teams….It’s about a giant going to their home and experience what it used to be for them a 100 years back…This is how it all started..

  63. There’s the example for all kids to follow. Some overweight pig of a man eating like he was half starved without any respect for either his food or himself. Takes a bite then another & then another before chewing – an absolute example of how not to eat.

    I cannot condone refereeing like I have just witnessed. It is not how kids should learn the game. Is it any wonder that England has issues with discipline.

  64. Shoot you are a typical English moron. Uneducated & inconsiderate. There is a whole generation that needs to be educated. Please God not like you.

  65. Listen to Wenger you twat he had nothing but praise for Sutton . You should have been born with a fanny you moan more than a woman

  66. And you Menace I suppose are the perfect example for all kids to follow? Foul mouthing away on a blog that kids read. Racist accusations against the ref. Keep up the good work of showing England how it should discipline itself.

  68. Menace your showing your true colours again.But yet again Tony and Walter will ignore your racist and bullying rants because you tow the party line with your beliefs.

  71. ‘Listen to Wenger’. He has to be diplomatic & despite his ire at what he sees has to be showing a placid outlook. If none of you think that Xhaka’s booking was less deserving of a card than Collins presence on the field then you are still unable to interpret the English used to describe the Laws of the Game. Iwobi is lucky to be walking. His leg is now weakened & his leg will break if he has the slightest blow to it.

    Tommo – you obviously are just as selectively visioned. Whose comments had foul language?

  72. An unusual High-Street store in New York selling new husbands had just opened. It was publicized that each woman could visit this store ONLY ONCE!
    There were six floors and the value of the products increased as the shopper ascended the flights. The shopper could choose any item from any floor, or choose to go up to the next floor, but could not go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a single woman called Cheryl went to the store to find a husband. On the first-floor the sign on the door read:
    Floor 1 – These Men Have jobs

    She was intrigued, but continued to the second-floor, where the sign read:
    Floor 2 – These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids

    “That’s nice”, she thought. “But I want more.”
    So, she continued upward. The third-floor sign read:

    Floor 3 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and Are Extremely Good Looking
    “Wow!” she exclaimed. But felt the urge to keep ascending.
    She went to the fourth-floor where the sign read:

    Floor 4 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
    “Oh, mercy me!” she burst out. “I can hardly stand it!”
    Still, she went to the fifth-floor where the sign read:

    Floor 5 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak

    She was so tempted to stay, but she went to the sixth-floor, where the sign read:

    Floor 6 – You Are Visitor 31,456,012 to This Floor. There Are No Men on This Floor. This Floor Exists Solely as Proof That Women Are Impossible to Please. Thank You for Shopping at the Husband Store.

    If ‘them’ forever complaining twits went to the store that sells football players ,what do you think the floors be labelled ? How many floors would be required ?

  73. THE MANAGER SHOPPE –

    1ST.Floor – Promising and upcoming English managers who have not won anything of note ,but have EPL experience and who are already available immediately now – or could very soon well be !

    1.Paul Clement
    2.Eddie Howe
    3.Sean Dyche
    4.Alan Pardew
    5.Sam Allardyce
    6.Steve Bruce
    7.Steve Coppell
    8.Alan Shearer
    9.Stuart Pearce
    10.Nigel Adkins
    11.Brian McDermott .
    12.Harry Redknapp .

  74. Continued ….
    1stFloor –

    13. Tim Sherwood
    14. Alan Curbishley

    2nd FLOOR – Non English managers residing in the UK and Ireland , who have EPL managerial experience and who may have not won anything of note , but could be persuaded to join for much less than the 8 Million Pounds we are now paying for the incumbent .

    1.Tony Pullis
    2.Mark Hughes
    3.Owen Coyle
    4.Mick McCarthy
    5.Brendon Rodgers
    6.Alex Neil
    7.Martin O’Neill
    8.Chris Hughton
    9.David Moyes
    10.Mark Malky
    11.Roy Keane
    12.Gordon Strachan
    13.Paul Lambert
    14. Neil Lennon

  75. There used to be a Mezzanine Floor , but it collapsed due to its poor structure and heavy weight .The toilets kept getting blocked and overflowing . After all bullshit has its limits !
    Anyway ,just to recap…

    Mezzanine Floor – Ex-players ,Managers and potential managers ,who may or may not have had EPL or other managerial experience , but felt free to sprout their nonsense in the media as experts and commentators .

    1.Gary Neville
    2.Phil Neville
    3.Graeme Sourness(I think that that is the way his name ought to be spelled!)
    4.Thierry Henry
    5.Ando ‘Get in there ‘Townsend ( cue fireworks !)
    6.Ian Wright
    7.Paul Merson
    8.Alan Smith
    9.Emmanuel Petit
    10.Dion Dublin
    11.Don Hutchison
    12.Peter Schmeichel
    13.Alan Shearer
    14.Alan Curbishley.
    15. Roy Keane
    16. David Moyes .

    NB – Roy Keane and David Moyes , being very light of head and totally fluff , floated up to the 2nd floor , while Alan Shearer and Alan Curbishley , being more full of it , fell to the first floor .
    Graeme Sourness and TH ended up in the basement , while Paul Merson was felled by crack !

  76. I did forget to mention the fate of the others , well they each ended by sniffing some butt or another ! Or kissing them !

    Is anyone reading this ? Hello ?
    Oh ,well here is newer version of an old joke of about being full of it .

    President Donald was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his career as a ‘Yuge and very rich billionaire’ , he had signed “YES” 1,237 times — for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. (Probably to build new casinos in Native American land – the bloody fucking immigrant !)

    Although the Donald was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his “red brothers”.

    At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name – Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.

    A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they come to select the new name given to the President.

    They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

  78. 3 FLOOR – British managers who have managed in the EPL and other top leagues, but may or may not have had success in winning trophies . Don’t shout it out loud , but some have FAILED miserably abroad .

    1.Roy Hodgson
    2.Steve McClaren
    3.Terry Venables
    4.Gary Neville

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