by Sir Hardly Anyone
The Stephan Lichtsteiner deal is all done and dusted and by and large there is agreement that the Sokratis Papastathopoulos signing will be announced in July once the club have reached agreement with him on how his name is going to appear on his shirt.
And then there is also said to be the fact that Arsenal are most definitively, certainly and completely signing Bernd Leno from Bayern Leverkusen; that is until we get to the ones that say no he is not coming to Arsenal at all and those who say that with Sokratis coming they have run out of letters.
Yep it is the usual mixed up confusion. (A song by Bob Dylan as you will know if you read Untold Dylan)
But now it seems all is not as we might have been led to believe! However I get ahead of myself. Let’s take it from the top.
1: David Luiz
David Luiz was in the Chelsea team of the 2016-17 season, but the last season only played ten games and according to le10sport, Arsenal now really do want him as a centre back. He can also play defensive midfield and he is 31, which is in keeping with our apparent desire to sign the older type of man that Mr Wenger didn’t like so much.
2: Xaka extension
The story flourishes; the magical move from most unwanted to golden boy. Here are just two of the particles of chitchat concerning the now highly esteemed, but last week greatly unwanted, midfielder.
“Xhaka is one of the more misunderstood players at the club and a lot of Arsenal fans have a very mixed opinion of him. But the confidence that Emery has in him should be an indicator of the regard he is held in at the club.” (Arsenal Fever).
“Xhaka suffered (and still often does) from acute underappreciation. Fans just did not understand what the big deal was. And to be fair, when you bring a £30m+ price tag, they expect the world. To us Gooners, that is a lot of money.” (Pain in the Arsenal).
3: We didn’t know we were interested
Dean Henderson is a goal keeper at Manchester United. We didn’t know Arsenal were interested and by the time we found out he had “snubbed” Arsenal and was going to continue to play in the north.
One way you can always tell if a transfer story is made up is if it uses the word snubbed.
4: Lucas Torreira.
Hardly new news, and so old it is beyond old news but yes Arsenal “are set to wrap up” the signing of “Sampdoria ace Lucas Torreira.” The Star says it will happen on Wednesday. Shall we come back to the story then and see if it really happens? [Only if you remember, Sir H. – Tony]
5: Leno Oh No
He is off to Liverpool not Arsenal (according to the Daily Star). But no he is going to Roma (according to the Express). Either way he is not coming to Arsenal. We’ve probably been dithering.
6: Aldi is not a car nor is he an Arsenal player
Arsenal have suffer an “unexpected turnaround” regarding the superduper wonderkid Adli who will not sign for us but instead will sign for PSG. That is according to Sports Lens. Arsenal of course never said he was signing for us anyway.
7: Jean Michael Seri.
There’s a shortage of stories around as you can see because The Sport Review now announces that “Arsenal manager Unai Emery is keeping an eye on Nice midfielder Jean Michael Seri.” Hardly new news but apparently it is still ongoing.
8: Sir Jack Wilshere
The great Arsenal supporter is seriously considering going to Crystal Palace and West Ham (although not both at once) according to the Star. Wolverhampton are pulling out of the “race” (according to the Birmingham Mail). Moyes at WHU says he is going to build his team around Jack, according to the Sun, who also say Wham are offering our Jack £30,000 a week to play in the state funded stadium more than Arsenal – probably because taxpayers paid for the place. Everton and Newcastle are also interested (according to the Metro).
9: Cech is on the way out.
La Gazzetta dello Sport says that “6 feel 4 inch colossus stopper” [oh for goodness sake] will be “surplus to requirements at the Emirates” and so could tag along to meet his former manager Carlo Ancelotti at Napoli. This is said to be a shock loan deal by This is futbol. So please act shocked.
10: Stewart Robson is an even bigger arse than we thought
The man who thought it was clever to use his position on Arsenal TV to criticise the club endlessly without supplying any sort of evidence did a farewell (that is farewell to work) interview on ESPN in which he said, “I don’t want them to lose quite as much as I did before.”
He then made childish remarks about not being invited to Mr Wenger’s last game, that he is banned from the stadium (which he seems to imply makes Arsenal a little club) and that the club hold grudges, which they shouldn’t because he was player of the year twice.
I suspect his banning from the stadium is a public order matter as the police fear a rising up of elderly gentlemen attempting to punch the humbug in the face if he ever returned (if only the old timers could just remember where their fists are).
- Gambling on football matches: is there really a way to make it pay? Let’s try with England.
- Would you believe it? After 2 years of hating Xhaka the media change their minds!
- Some players 1st game after the world cup will be… an international match
- Clubs are showing signs of fighting back at journalists
- Are Arsenal really making progress, or are we starting to slip back?
- Luton 3 Arsenal 4: maybe it is time to say positive things
- Luton v Arsenal – the referee, the team, Saka and Cliff Bastin
- Luton Town – how do they play the game. The tackles, fouls and cards.