By Bogus Cheese
My dears! My dears! What a moment, what a day! Welcome welcome! Camembert to you all.
One of the many tricks of the Anti-Arsenal Arsenal web sites is to make endless criticisms while making few predictions.
However several of the old “Wenger is an alien, turf him out now” sites did, through the summer, let their guard slip somewhat when they started predicting that huge numbers of Arsenal season ticket holders would not be renewing this season, because of their dislike of our great Lord Wenger, all praise be.
What a slip! What a Danish Blue! How could they be so careless?
The sources of this eccentric, strange and frankly bizarre story were simple in themselves…
1: People had been writing to the blogs saying, “I don’t want this season ticket any more while Wenger is at the club – does anyone else want it?” Trading in Season Tickets is of course a crime under the Law of the Land, or maybe just the terms of the Season Ticket, but either way it is a Bad Thing.
2: Someone had applied for a season ticket and found he moved up 40,000 places on the waiting list overnight.
3: At every match you see spaces so Arsenal must be lying.
Actually dear reader the “Arsenal must be lying” bit is there anyway, without the first half of the sentence, but the AAA sites felt it a Good Thing to put the two bits together. Oh Koenigsberg!
Any road up, as we say in Wood Green, their prediction was, the club would at last feel the backlash of all right thinking supporters who have Had Enough of this regime and wanted a return to the days of being honest hearty English lads who give their all and speak the language proper.
So, the prediction is made.
Now I am writing this my dear-i-os before I set off on the long and winding road across town to our spiritual home, but I predict that all around me will be the same old faces. A little older, a little more wrinkly (and that’s just Pat Rice – what a lad, what a stayer, what a boy!)
The number of season ticket holders who have given up their tickets will be, I predict, under 2000 across the whole ground. The waiting list really is 10 years (I predict, hand on Cheddar), and the number of empty seats will remain due entirely to people not getting to the games because they live a long way away.
So, my chums, my pals, my dear bit of old Gorgonzola, my Lancashire Blue, why would the AAA make such a wild prediction?
The answer of course is that a lot of the silly smoked Cornish are in fact Man IOU fans who can’t take the fact that in their stadium anyone who wants to can buy a ticket anywhere in the ground, season or daily. In fact I am told they even take Oyster cards.
(Breaking news is that the Glazers are not paying a penny back on any loans and the cost of the loans is going up again, while the little fella from the far eastern shores where reality is unknown has had enough of Liverpuddle and taken his goats cheese elsewhere).
The world is ours, my old Welsh rarebit, we are one of only three clubby type things that has sold all its seasons, and one of the other two (the very tiny totts) don’t count because their ground is so small that if an ant stamped on it, it wouldn’t even notice. And anyway who ever heard of people paying for anything at the far end of Seven Sisters?
So thus we march onwards under our glorious Lord, our Leader, our Hero, our Dearest Pal, our Great and Glorious creator of the Unbeaten.
I look forward to exposing another AAA racket next week. Be there or be square as you hep cats say, what?
Phil Gregory on Arsenal v Blackpool
Billy the Dog’s preview: Arsenal vs the Creature from the Black Lagoon
24 Replies to “The Anti-Arsenal Arsenal face their biggest test yet”
Dearest Anton your style of writing never fails to cheer me up on these most knackering of mornings 🙂 Nice work!
5-1 To the Arsenal today!! Spent the last half an hour anti-trolling and defending common sense / Wenger, think it is about time I shifted down a gear and started drinking and watching telly again.
Well to be fair, emty seats? well aslong as the owner has payed and those money go into running Arsenal nobody should be concerned. The owner has suppoerted Arsenal merly by buying the ticket, he does not have to go to the game to show how much hesupports the club. His wallet has already spoken.
Besides you have to aknowledge that alot of the moaners probably was hit hard by the financial crises. Maybe loosing jobs, not able to provide for their families, only comfort is the pub and only joy is the footy etc.
They need to have something outside their depressing lives that is worse than themselves. Thus moaning at Arsenal can be a way of escaping the hard demands of real life. Atleast AW is doing stuff wrong, even more wrong than yourself kind of attitude.
I pity these moaners. COming onto web pages and having rants like this? you cant have a very good life then can you?
I think if it helps them in their hard life situation and if it makes them feel better maybe we just have to let them rant. Out of pity for them.
I have never read one of your post and just like Tony’s, I love it, Long Live to Untold Arsenal
untold arsenal is the best place for arsenal fans along with youngguns.i want to ask one thing.how does the likes of sun telegraph etc have the right to write lies about arsene wenger.yesterday wenger praised scholes for what a great player he is.yet it was twisted and and now man utd fans arejust mad at wenger.can’t anything be done to stop these lies and misleading articles.
wenger , please blah blah blah, I know how to run the club better than you. I know which players you should buy my tactics are amazing.
have you never heard of this device called a credit card? use it and spend spend spend. that’s what the other clubs do… I don’t see why you want the club to spend within its means. and pay off its debts and be financially sound. that just doesn’t make sense to me. trophies are everything. just look at the disaster the last 5 years have been. I can’t leave home without feeling totally ashamed. this is your fault.
what we need is a proper manager to run things.
bring in tony pulis as manager and also shawcross and delap. we need solid English players. sell fabregas and buy milner. sell van persie and buy Carlton Cole. its a no brainer.
sell that useless song and buy a proper talent . buy bullard.
sell the useless verlemon guy and buy any defender named Taylor. got it?
lastly scrap the youth system. arsenal is the only team which has retained the youth academy. that is not good enough. on pre season you brought all these young players in. they were Crap, like jet, wilshere, frimpong , lansbury, norveidt, etc. instead we want mature players! who have never played before. wenger I am very forgiving but me like 98 percent of fans won’t be renewing our season tickets this season. the stadium will be empty. you have been warned.
long live a real English manager ! like ehm let me see… O’neill , Roy keane, Ferguson and moyes. is Ireland and Scotland and Ireland in England? yes they are.
wenger has under achieved. he has consistently spent less in every transfer window than most teams like tottenham, villa Liverpool etc etc and has done better in the leagues than them.
Mr Common Sensei, I have to agree with both you and Mr English Camembert. There are an army of Wenger-haters out there commenting here, there and everywhere. I seriously wish that Arsenal win 6-0 today and give us all a weeks rest from their ranting. I don’t know if I can take any more (actually I may just ban them!)
Hmm Andy, do I sense a bit of sarcasm in your speech?
Ha I think it needed to be said though.
I know we are in a good financial position, but why do people always call Man U, Man IOU? I come from New Zealand so i dont know how much trouble many of these clubs are in?
Great article and Go the Gunners (I will try and invent an Indian injury free dance, it’s one in the making, wish me luck)
just to clarify, my previous comment is merely taking the peeps out of the Anti A. I think we are so fortunate to have lord wenger at the helm at arsenal. some of my favourite football I have ever seen, and dare I say was even more attractive than barcelonas was when we had hleb, fab, van p , flamini and rosicky. we would create 20 chances in a game with ease and it was only the usual “strong” challenges and diabolical refereeing decisions that would work against us. I can’t wait for the chamakh, arshavin, fab, van p, nasri and ramsey attacking team play to come good when all players are fit. we have easily a top attacking squad.
this is my favourite blog by a country mile due to the perspectives taken. I can’t wait for our youth system to start bringing the talent through to the first team. imagine a group of players who have played together for 6 to 9 years in the wenger way! I am so glad that the reserves beat man united reserves a few days ago!
can’t wait for todays match. we should have plenty more first teamers available.
Great to read a proper Arsenal Blog. Thanks
My problem is, since AAA rised their voices, I have no wish to talk to fellow gooners, because they poisoned all places you may go. Ok for you, lucky ones who can go to Emirates and hear things as they are, is easier, but for us “diaspora” gooners its quite hard to stand lately.
When we try to “fight them” they always say “well you have to ask English gooners how they feel”.
So please somebody tell me who are those strangers who sing on every game “One Arsene Wenger”.
And I demand you all tell me your passport numbers and places of birth because its obvious that only ficking foreigners support this Arsenal.
hhhmmmmmm Cheese, I love it. You can take away my vegetables, you can take away my fish, I have more troubles when you take away my meat but never take away my daily portions of cheese.
I like almost all and every cheese in the world and certainly want more pieces of this great untold cheese.
hahaha..nice one..great article.
top notch. Love this style. more please…
quite fond of Labradors
If that doesn’t add up to a brilliant article. I challenge you to tell me what does.
Keep tha faith…5-0 would be refreshing.
Love the site. Keep it coming. Why aren’t there more blogs like yours? I wonder though, Why would a fan want trophies more than a player? And get frustrated if his team didn’t win one? Surely the players, the manager and the club itself would have put in the most effort and would hurt most? For a fan, I’d say the most they will suffer is .. being extremely disappointed for a day or two, and then life moves on. Similarly if Arsenal win a trophy, they will feel elated for a day or two and then move on. Or a week..or 10 days. And they can then brag to their ‘mates’ about how Arsenal > Spurs > ManU etc etc .. otherwise their ‘mates’ will reverse that fact.
That is all it is. A trophy to fans = greater bragging rights and more fuel to their ego. All IMHO obviously, I never understood a fan hating so much just coz of a lack of trophies. Its a game, you came into it because of the football, you were vindicated because of the way Arsenal play, so why forget that and salivate after trophies?
Unless you’re someone who has invested monetarily in the club(No .. Sitting on the couch in front of the TV at 2:00am in India like me) does NOT count…I cannot understand why you moan. Frankly. I wish there were more blogs like this.
a nice piece of crumbly wensleydale please. cant get it where i live. i did get the match tho. better than any cheese i’ve ever eaten.
NO!This article is rubbish smelly cheese. Critising a man who has won nothing in 5-6 years does not make one anti-Arsenal.
My beloved club will exist long after Wenger is gone, and still winning trophies just like in the days of Chapman, Mee, Graham, and yes the Wenger of 1998 – 2004 before he forgot what the objective of football is meant to be.
So Joe you are only in to it to win things? You are only a fan for the years we win something? And the other years are rubbish?
I’m going to pick myself a nice bit of cheese out of the fridge now and hope it tastes as good as todays victory.
You guys are a complete and utter joke. Even Wenger sometimes admit he makes mistakes (as we all do which is part of human imperfection). If he can see it why cant you Walter ? Besides the real point is not about winning or being a fan. It is about what the hierarchy prefers to use Arsenal’s money for ? Arsenal’s finances would not have been badly affected if we decided to spend £30 million on very good players needed this season (goalie, defender and defensive midfield cover) to enable us properly compete with Chelsea. Asking the club to spend our money on very good experienced players does not make you less than a fan. And I know Walter you are not that stupid not to understand that are you ? but clearly there are different hidden agendas here with Arsenal’s finances which you already know about isnt there ?
Also well done Pat for telling the score before the match 😉
I am so happy that I have found this blog as I hate reading chats and blogs where fans are so negative about the club and players. I think you should think positive (90% anyway).
Oh as Finn I kind of have got this mentality from Finnish athletes “Do our best and see where it takes us”. SO as long as Arsenal playes at their best and beautiful football I’m happy. Trophies just collects dust. But I would love to make this one guy who is always telling negative things about my club (he is customer at my work so I have to be polite)to shut up by Arsenal getting trophy or two.
Also Wenger said that he is confident that we will add one or maybe one and one so things look great (I have faith even if we don’t get anyone).
Arvind: why are there not more blogs like ours?
It’s in the name: Untold. If others were like us, we’d have to be something different.
But in honesty I can’t imagine a single other site having a correspondent like Billy the Dog, or Bogus Cheese.
You guys are a complete and utter joke.
Thanks. that’s the idea
“Breaking news is that the Glazers are not paying a penny back on any loans and the cost of the loans is going up again”
What’s the source?? Can’t find this being written anywhere.. Good article though..
I used to play for Seven Sisters….