Arsenal to replace Nicolas Pépé with older player who scored fewer!

By Sir Hardly Anyone.


This piece follows on from Talksport launches screamingly hilarious and inaccurate attack on Arsenal

Raheem Sterling and Riyad Mahrez scored 14 goals each this season.  Nicolas Pépé scored 15.   So why would Arsenal want to ditch Pepe and buy Sterling and Mahrez?

Only the esteemed Matt Hughes and Sami Mokbel of the Daily Mail can tell us, and sadly in their article on the subject they are keeping quiet on issues of logic, the source of their thoughts that this is a reasonably likely story, or come to that pretty much anything else.   Although what they do say is that “Mikel Arteta worked with both during his spell at City under Guardiola. But there must be doubt over Arsenal’s ability to land either player given their financial demands and lack of European football.”

And that I think gives us the answer as to why the story is being spread about by the increasingly ludicrous, eccentric, erratic and bizarre Daily Mail.  It really has nothing to do with a possible transfer or about Arsenal’s implied desire to ditch Nicolas Pépé.  Instead it is just another chance for the Daily Mail to attack Arsenal as it does day after day after day after day after… well, you get the idea.

Matt Hughes writes for  Daily Mail, MSN, The Times, and This is Money while Mokbel is a Mail man having previously worked for the esteemed Daily Star and Croydon Advertiser.

And it is following the diktat of always knocking Arsenal that they claim that Sterling and Mahrez are available because Manchester City are “planning to refine their squad” and the players “are targets of Arsenal, though it is highly questionable whether they have anything like the funds to afford those purchases.”

So, to put it in a nutshell, Arsenal want these two wingers who they can’t afford, two players who are not refined and which the vastly superior Manchester City are ditching.  And Arsenal want them even though Arsenal already have a winger who is developing all the time and who scored more than either of these two did last season. What’s more Pépé is clearly on the way up, while both Sterling and Mahrez are older than Pépé and on the way down.

And worse still, Arsenal are in such a stupid pathetic mess Arsenal don’t even realise they can’t afford these guys.  Yet they are spending time chasing them.

My goodness it is so helpful that we have the Daily Mail there to help Arsenal understand these things.  Otherwise where on earth would the club be?  Presumably buying players we don’t need at prices we can’t afford…

In simply reality such a sale would be very unlikely unless there is something we don’t know about.  If the Mail knew about it, then surely they would say, but they don’t.

But it does mean that when Arsenal fail to sign these two players who Arsenal have actually never been after, (because they don’t need them and can’t afford them) the Mail will be able to blame Arsenal’s slowness, Kroenke’s refusal to give Arsenal funds, and general dithering in the club.

All of which fits with the continuing narrative that virtually all drainpipes (sorry outlets) share – one that led Football.London to say, “Arsenal are facing a summer of uncertainty. The squad is in need of refreshment but funds will be further limited by an awareness that revenue will take a significant hit next season with only domestic football to focus on.”

And this is the big point: all the media is combining to give the same utterly ludicrous story – one which is dependent on fans believing Arsenal are in trouble, whereas in fact, as you will know if you are a regular here across the last two thirds of the past season Arsenal were the second most effective team in the league.

Remember, last summer, just three in every 100 rumours turned out to be true.  The rest of journalistic fantasies and downright lies.

Arsenal against the Media

8 Replies to “Arsenal to replace Nicolas Pépé with older player who scored fewer!”

  1. I work as a writer Andrew, and so I have an interest in publishers, of which the press are part. I also try to make logical arguments and publish them for others to consider and debate; articles whose content is not (as far as I know) published elsewhere.

    You may be not be interested – that is fair enough, no reason why you should. But since you have ventured forth with a comment, perhaps we might consider that and what it says about you.

    Your 13 words (of which six words are in fact the same word printed over and over again) presumably tell us something about yourself. The fact that you continue to read Untold, despite clearly not liking it. The fact that you want to spend some of your (presumably) valuable time writing to Untold. The fact that you have written many times to Untold.

    I am starting to suspect that there are deeper issues going on inside you that causes you to repeat this simplistic behaviour, which maybe should be considered by someone who can help, because I can’t understand at all, why you engage in this repetitive behaviour. Even the way you change your IP address and email address is repetitive. It really does strike me as odd, although perhaps you know what you are doing.

    So perhaps I could ask other correspondents: can you understand why Andrew Banks writes to us so often?

  2. No mention of Pepe anywhere in the article. I’d take Stirling over him any day of the week.

  3. Leonardo, I think that the buying of two players who play in the same position as Pepe suggests to most people (although obvioulsy not to you) what the point of the article is. But as you don’t get it… Buying two players who play in his position as a winger, would make it less likely that Pepe will find a place in the team. However as you are happy to take Stirling, that’s fine, half of the problem is dealt with.
    I hope that helps you a little.

  4. I am waiting for Sainsbury to deliver my shopping, so I have some spare time.

    Tony, as you undoubtedly know, only Andrew Banks knows why he writes to you and Untold Arsenal as often as he does. As I write this, it appears he either doesn’t wish to enlighten you or he is waiting for you to ask him, instead of other correspondents, to explain his actions.

    I’ve read many Untold Arsenal articles you’ve written. Some of your writing, in my opinion, does tackle topics not widely covered elsewhere and that’s why I occasionally drop by and have a read, even though I’m a Manchester City fan.

    With respect to your recent articles regarding the press “bashing your team” I can read this sort of article widely on almost any fan website. I must admit I find it slightly surprising that you are giving oxygen to those in the media peddling these sorts of articles, but I guess at the end of the day people working in the media have to write stories even when there really aren’t any.

    Tony, it’s clear from your writing that both Arsenal and Untold Arsenal are two of your passions. Keep up the good work and I’ll keep dropping by waiting for the next interesting article.

  5. English Media are very conventional and portray Arsenal as a step down from Man City, Liverpool or Man Utd- and try to create a negative narrative about us to please their readership..It’s no wonder agents generate these stories as part of a strategy to generate more money for their clients.
    Personally I can see a number of fringe players moving on and it looks less likely that we may lose a couple of loaned midfielders and therefore we probably are sounding out a range of midfield options. At the moment.
    Last thing I think we need to do is sell Pepe unless of course he wants to go. His real improvement in form towards the end of last season seemed to be confidence driven and it has taken a long time.
    Sadly the media seem to think we only create players for the big northern teams and the likes of upstarts like Aston Villa to exploit.

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