Talksport launches screamingly hilarious and inaccurate attack on Arsenal

By Tony Attwood

Jackson Cole has written a piece on the TalkSport website which is one of the most screamingly funny inaccurate pieces of football “journalism” (I use the word lightly) ever seen in print.  It is headlined

“No matter how you measure it, this seems like one of Arsenal’s worst seasons in living memory and the stats prove it.”

Claiming the stats prove something, usually has Untold Arsenal swinging into action, and so we had a look at the claim that this was “the worst season in living memory.”   Because if the “stats prove it” we ought to be able to find the stats.  So here we go…

We obviously start with “in living memory” and here we’ll be a bit generous because Mr Cole might not be the brightest nugget in the basket, and we don’t want to take unfair advantage.  So for “living memory” we’ll take the case of a 70-year-old, and we’ll say he started watching the Arsenal aged 15, which means 1966.  A time when crowds were modest in size and anyone could turn up, hand over a few shillings, and get onto the North Bank.

Next in looking back we have to make some allowances for the fact that in the olden times it was only two points for a win, not three, and the club played 42 games a season, not 38, but again we are going to be generous.

We will take goal difference throughout, and we’re not going to take any notice of the fact that in the old days the club played 42 games.  We’re being kind to the young scallywag because as will soon become clear he is far from being the brightest cookie in the frying pan (or whatever the phrase is).

In fact, we immediately found that rather than being the worst in living memory there were no less than 11 seasons that were worse than this last season.  Plus there were another half dozen that would have calculated as worse than this if we balanced out the stats to take account of the extra four games in the old days.

Here are some of the seasons Talk Sport forgot about in allowing this piece of nonsense onto their website.

*Three points for a win assumed throughout so the points can be compared across the years.

Year P W D L F A GD Pts*
1966 42 12 13 17 62 75 -13 49
1967 42 16 14 12 58 47 11 62
1970 42 12 18 12 51 49 2 54
1975 42 13 11 18 47 49 -2 50
1976 42 13 10 19 47 53 -6 49
1977 42 16 11 15 64 59 5 59
1983 42 16 10 16 58 56 2 58
1993 42 15 11 16 40 38 2 56
1995 42 13 12 17 52 49 3 51
2020 38 14 14 10 56 48 8 56
2021 38 18 7 13 55 39 16 61

Thus in terms of games won this past season, instead of being the worst in living memory, this was the best out of those 11 selected seasons.    In terms of defence, this was the second-best out of those 11 seasons.   In terms of goal difference, this was by far the best out of those 11 seasons.  In terms of points calculated on 3 for a win this was the second-best out of 11 seasons, and in the one that beat 2020/21, Arsenal played four more games.

So this claim of the worst in living memory AND THE STATS PROVE IT is wild, misleading, and extraordinarily stupid.  Stupid not just because it is untrue, but because it makes the whole of TalkSport look like a mindless bunch of wilderbeest who have got lost in the arctic without a canoe.

And there’s a second point.  2020/21 has been notable for the fact that what dragged the club down was the first third of the season.  If we just look at the second two thirds, Arsenal were fact are second in the league (third if we count the extra game Man U played).  No previous season has had such a turn around for Arsenal.  If you wanted to write an article about an extraordinary season, this is the issue to pick (unless the entire purpose was to put Arsenal down).

And what about defence?   Throughout the whole season (not just the last two thirds which we know saw a  major improvement) but across the whole season, we had the third-best defence in the League.  Better by far than Tottenham Hots, Man U, Liverpool and all those other clubs so beloved of Talk Sprout.  As this table in goals against order shows….

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Manchester City 38 27 5 6 83 32 51 86
4 Chelsea 38 19 10 9 58 36 22 67
8 Arsenal 38 18 7 13 55 39 16 61
3 Liverpool 38 20 9 9 68 42 26 69
2 Manchester United 38 21 11 6 73 44 29 74
7 Tottenham Hotspur 38 18 8 12 68 45 23 62

So what should TalkSprout do about this utterly misleading piece?   They could

a) Apologise completely and offer an explanation as to how they got the basic premise so wrong.

b) Hang the writer out to dry, saying he was a ne’er-do-well day-release kid from the local secondary modern who sneaked the article onto the Talk Sport website without permission.

c) Admit that yes, their agenda is one of remorseless attack on Arsenal using any technique they can find, including distorting the facts beyond recognition.

d) Express surprise that anyone should worry about the accuracy of any bit of football writing, because, well it’s just football.

e) Do nothing, on the grounds that football fans have memory spans that are less than that of the squirrel monkey.

We shall see how they respond.

Arsenal against the Media

10 Replies to “Talksport launches screamingly hilarious and inaccurate attack on Arsenal”

  1. What gets me is that you only have to look at last season to find a statistically worse season. That’s how dumb/vindictive talksprout are.

  2. We shall see how they respond? you say…. A toss up between talksh*te and trump over who talks the most sh*t. . At least talkshite doesn’t have 70 million (or even 70?) dumb f*****g idiots following them.

  3. This is one of my favorite articles on Untold. I love every word of it. 😍👏

  4. Well seeing they are hosted by Adrian “ I hate Arsenal” Durham & the likes of Jason “ chip on his shoulder” Cundy you’ll get no satisfaction.They both support historically inferior clubs & this eats away at them because they know in their heart of hearts that Arsenal have always been a world class club & always will be .So they look for every little stick they can find to beat the club with such is their inferiority complex.Doesn’t matter if there is any truth to it.The bigger the lie the better.Classless.But then we’ve always known that.Small club mentality.

  5. Uwot?

    Doesn’t matter if there is any truth to it. The bigger the lie the better”

    And there in lies the problem. Of course Talkshite know its an absolute pile of doggy doos. And of course they wont apologise. Jeeeez, there’s more chance of Spurs winning a trophy than that happening, so zero chance.

    Even seeing us pulling it apart probably gives them a laugh.

    It’s sad but partly our own fault because we have so many fans that buy into this endless negativity that they give them the oxygen to carry on.

    Take solace in the fact that talksport and there presenters are as close to serious journalism as Durhams beloved Peterborough are to the premiership.


  6. When I want the correct perspective on all things Arsenal
    This site is always my 1st port of call the research you put into every article is worthy indeed.
    For what it’s worth I shall continue to point to UA as the truth. The Dopey Ex-press, blind sports mole, the dodgy mail, yardberker, et al are only worthy of a coating or a 1 word epithet.
    PLEASE continue to write these excellent articles.
    Herbert Chapman’s ghost.

  7. Despite the facts that it has clearly been shown by the Untold Arsenal with proven supporting statistical evidence that Talk Sports Radio broadcasters are lying as they have been found out in their recent lies saying in their radio broadcasting, when they broadcast another lies saying against Arsenal.

    Which were intended to slam Arsenal, And misinformed the general public of football loving fans by misleading them in their anti-Artetal misinformation dissemination spreads of Arsenal FC.

    However, I don’t think Talk Sports will embrace humility to turnaround and repent in their lies saying against Arsenal FC that are intended by then to publicly ridicule Arsenal unlimited with impunity. And tender apology to Arsenal asking for forgiveness. And from the teeming football loving fans who in their lies sprouting action they’ve offended by deceiving them with baseless untrue anti-Arsenal lies sprouting against Arsenal FC.

    For, Talk Sports know what they are doing very well when they came out to sprout out this their latest lies against Arsenal. But they’ll not respond in their anti-Arsenal talk sprout deceit. And retract their baseless lying sayings against AFC to apologise to them for their sprouting out sits talking against Arsenal.

  8. As a 64 year old Arsenal fan of over 50 years , I like to think that I have seen some shite seasons.
    Among the worst for me would be the last seasons of Bertie Mee in the mid seventies and George Graham in the ninties.
    I had palpitations worring about relegation.
    But for grace of God ,….
    After all we ARE a hig club, and could not fail !

  9. Again this is where stats are misleading.

    Where is the style of play under Arteta? We may statistically be the third best defensive side, but I’d argue that this campaign has been one of the league’s worst in relation to defending. Conceding 38 goals isn’t a sign of a solid defence. Moreover our attacking regressed drastically when you compare it to Unais first season, we scored 72 goals in the league.

    The only reason I think Arteta should leave is due to a lacking tactical blueprint and his disconnect to the club’s core values.

    Of course though, as Talksport are the leading sport radio platform domestically, they’re massive contributors to this agenda to cripple Arsenal from progressing through publishing nonsensical articles that leads to discontent and ultimately division amongst our supporters.

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