Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
By Walter Broeckx Welcome Petr and goodbye…. whoever will leave us this summer from our goalkeepers. Let us start with the latter. I don’t think having 3 top quality keepers hanging around will be the ideal scenario so I think one of Szczesny and Ospina will leave us. Either one leaving us will be a …
Read More “Petr Cech signs for Arsenal. A welcome, and what happens now.”
By Tony Attwood Yesterday we ran the news of reports from Italy to the effect that Arturo Vidal had agreed to toddle off from Juventus and instead sign for a team that had never once been found guilty of ref fixing, namely Arsenal. Now commentators in Spain are saying that the deal is “90% done”. …
Read More “Vidal to Arsenal and Spain emboldened to stand up to Fifa insanity”
By Walter Broeckx Tomorrow it will be one month since we played our last match and won our last trophy. A second consecutive FA cup win has shut up the more fickle part of our fans. On Untold we always believed we would win things again if Wenger was given the time. Others weren’t that patient and still …
Read More “For Arsenal supporters there is almost light at the end of the tunnel”
On a blustery afternoon among the green pastures of the Holloway Road, a duel was fought between the publisher of Untold Arsenal, Tony Attwood, and the website’s special spoof correspondent, Sir Hardly Anyone. The origins of the dispute are thought to be the slowness of the publisher in putting up a report submitted by …
Read More “Arsenal beat Man U to Vidal; public duel on Holloway Road a draw”
By Sir Hardly Anyone, listening to football’s chatter, rumour, and mindless gibberish. [First, apologies for the late publication of this article this morning. Tony went dancing last night, didn’t get back to the early hours, and failed to press the button for the 8am piece. The issue will be resolved with swords drawn at noon.] …
Read More “Top midfielder finally confirmed to sign for Arsenal in next few days. Not spoof!”
By Tony Attwood I started sketching this notion of what I would like to see next season, about a week ago, and the more I thought about it, the more entangled it got. So I decided to start with the new bits I will see. First, I will see the game from a different angle. …
Read More “What I will see, and what I’d really like to see next season”
By Sir Hardly Anyone Oh. So apparently Schneiderlin Day was set up just I could make a fool of myself in predicting the said fella would turn up at Arsenal. Well! Of course you know the way the bloggettas get around this – they predict everyone is on offer to Arsenal and the say we …
By Tony Attwood, in gloating mood. Let me start by taking you back, and for once, not right the way back to 25 July 2008 when I first pointed out that Coquelin had the potential to play for Arsenal. Not that one again. I’ve done that. I mean, I know I said it and it …
Read More “This could be a player we’ll love and love again.”
By Sir Hardley Anyone DONE DEAL: Arsenal COMPLETE Transfer of 6ft POWERHOUSE Striker Actually no, that isn’t the done deal of the day. That is just a contradiction of yesterday’s story that said that Podolski was determined to stay at Arsenal and fight for his place. Arsenal, going into the summer transfer window are keen …
Read More “If all the spoofs say it’s a DONE DEAL that must mean it’s a DONE DEAL”
By Sir Hardley Anyone, Dept of the Weird, University of Certain Things at Enfield. What a strange day – all the weird and wonderful piling up at once. Of course some of these stories broke yesterday and some the day before but it feels like they are all swimming around in a sea of football …
Read More “All the weird and wonderful stories are piling up at once.”
By Walter Broeckx More and more it is looking very likely that Cech will become an Arsenal player one of these days. Now of course the sky may fall on our heads and it all could go wrong in the last minute but I think even Mourinho has decided that he cannot stop the Cech …
Read More “A tale of 3 keepers: will Cech actually be an improvement? You might be surprised.”
By Tony Attwood. I have been waiting for the “Cech spotted at airport” story to emerge, but it seems no, no one is going to oblige. So instead we have Adrian Durham in the Mail. Now Adrian Durham is a special sort of man. He knows. In fact he knows everything. He is, in short …
By Tony Attwood Starting with Petr Čech of course the big question is which musical instrument does he play? And the answer is percussion. which should indeed give us confidence. The potential arrival of a new goalkeeper (which may well have been confirmed by the time you read this or alternatively been proven to be complete …
Read More “What do we really know about Čech? And about Arsenal keepers.”
By Walter Broeckx Today the first draw was made for the European competitions for the season 2015-2016. With this draw one could say that the new run for the big trophy has started. And as Untold is running a bit ahead most of the time why not this time. So we have already filled the …
By Walter Broeckx To finish this season’s review we will do this with the finishers. The man out there to put the ball in the net. Not that it is their only task of course. Now I could have gone for the left – central – right approach but those who look beyond the ball …
By Tony Attwood This is a story of stories. Several stories in fact. Stories covering tax fraud, the lavish giving away of public money and the misleading of the public. All in the name of money, or fraud, or maybe just carelessness. Sometimes it is impossible to say. Indeed I suspect, if you were to …
. By Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, head of psychiatry and odd behaviour at the University College Hospital of the North Circular Road. . It is like a drug I suppose. You know it makes no sense at all, clowns to the left of me jokers to the right… . But still everyone has to …
Read More “Confirmed Arsenal complete 2 shock moves and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx I don’t usually like to talk about the most important positions on the field for a team as I think that you can only win when all 11 players are performing well enough. But the attacking midfielder certainly is one of those positions that can decided if your attack can score enough goals. …
Read More “Those attacking midfielders. What next for Arsenal?”
Nat Whilk- Clerk. Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time 1: Who had the biggest Willie? a) Willie Old b) Wee Willie Winky c) Willie Carson d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young was playing …
Read More “It’s saturday night and time for another Untold Quiz (or not as the case may be)”
by Andrew Crawshaw The senior squad for all Premier League teams is 25 players aged 21 or more of whom at least 8 have to be ‘home grown’. The age limit is calculated from the 1st of January in which the league season starts. My understanding of Home Grown means a player who, irrespective of …
By Tony Attwood I’m not always willing to admit when I get it wrong. Sometimes I prefer to hide under the sofa for a few months and hope no one notices. But today, well, today is different. If I have got this one wrong I shall be shocked, amazed, amused, annoyed and extremely happy, all …
Read More “Man C discover that Uefa’s FFP if not dead at all but is still alive – and kicking”
By Iva Madeitup So here we are again, another day another load of spoof headlines. The last collection proved to be just about the most popular piece Untold has published this year, so here are eight more, all garnered today, 16 June. As The Who famously said, “Won’t get fooled again”. Arsenal News – …
Read More “Personal Terms Agreed For 28 Goals €30m Rated Arsenal Target and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx Having analysed the defensive midfielder I thought the next step would be the box to box midfielders. As they are called now. In my days these were just midfielders who run a lot, but that is the modern times for you. I put Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere in this category and …
Read More “The box to box midfielders: comparing Ramsey, Wilshere and the Ox”
By Tony Attwood In 1968, Sir Alf Ramsey described the West Ham player Martin Peters as “ten years ahead of his time”. It was a singularly odd phrase from a singularly odd man, and one that I suspect Peters came to hate, as every time he failed with a pass or a cross everyone repeated …
Read More “Football as a means of money laundering. Now there’s a blast from the past.”
By Nat Whilk-Clerk. 1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game? Willie Nelson Nelson Mandela Lord Nelson Sammy Nelson Darth Nelson. Ron Jerem 2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for? a pile of bricks a pile of …
Read More “Thursday night is Arsenal quiz night. Well, some night has to be”
