Bookmakers attack Untold Towers after we make another perfect Arsenal prediction.

There were unprecedented scenes tonight at Untold Towers, the rural enclave which houses Untold Arsenal. As editors and copywriters gathered on the 42nd floor and watched in amazement a crowd of over 400 bookmakers, bookies runners and a couple of burger sellers attacked the building with sticks, staves and a centurian tank. At first it …

West Ham v Arsenal. Score, teams, and what happens afterwards

Warning: contains dead bodies, mild peril, partial nudity, swearing, irony  and occasional violence. “West Ham are in dire straits,” said Billy the Dog, as I approached the allotment and offered him a pint of sweet sherry.  “That Mark Knoffler has lost it, the new glacier tax is hitting them hard, and their bid to host …