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Media report one of Abramovich’s “inner circle” buys another club; Vincent Tann doing the same.

By Walter Broeckx

Today the news came out in Belgium that Royal Mouscron-Péruwelz has been saved and bought by a foreign owner.

This club is the more or less follow up team of Royal Excelsior Mouscron a team that has gone bankrupt in 2010 and that was playing in the top division in Belgium at […]

Cech checked for anomalies, viruses, nuclear radiation and hidden microphones




So Vidal is going to sign for us I hear. Just after Copa America they’ll announce the signing. Any time. Oh! therz a setback there. Hah. Now therz not.

Also Higuain they say. And that guy from Southampton, Schnai (err…) Morgan. And our Suarez fetish never seems to end.

Apparently Cech […]

Football in turmoil as Arsenal bid reveals outrageous behaviour over world-class midfielder

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Football has been thrown into absolute turmoil by the news that the Daily Telegraph has been leading the readers of its web site a merry dance over Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal. While the lead story on is that Arsenal have signed a five-year contract with Arturo Vidal, […]

Petr Cech signs for Arsenal. A welcome, and what happens now.

By Walter Broeckx

Welcome Petr and goodbye…. whoever will leave us this summer from our goalkeepers. Let us start with the latter. I don’t think having 3 top quality keepers hanging around will be the ideal scenario so I think one of Szczesny and Ospina will leave us. Either one leaving us will be a […]

Vidal to Arsenal and Spain emboldened to stand up to Fifa insanity

By Tony Attwood

Yesterday we ran the news of reports from Italy to the effect that Arturo Vidal had agreed to toddle off from Juventus and instead sign for a team that had never once been found guilty of ref fixing, namely Arsenal.

Now commentators in Spain are saying that the deal is “90% […]

For Arsenal supporters there is almost light at the end of the tunnel

By Walter Broeckx

Tomorrow it will be one month since we played our last match and won our last trophy. A second consecutive FA cup win has shut up the more fickle part of our fans. On Untold we always believed we would win things again if Wenger was given the time. Others weren’t that […]

Arsenal beat Man U to Vidal; public duel on Holloway Road a draw


On a blustery afternoon among the green pastures of the Holloway Road, a duel was fought between the publisher of Untold Arsenal, Tony Attwood, and the website’s special spoof correspondent, Sir Hardly Anyone.

The origins of the dispute are thought to be the slowness of the publisher in putting up a report submitted by […]

Top midfielder finally confirmed to sign for Arsenal in next few days. Not spoof!

By Sir Hardly Anyone, listening to football’s chatter, rumour, and mindless gibberish.

[First, apologies for the late publication of this article this morning. Tony went dancing last night, didn’t get back to the early hours, and failed to press the button for the 8am piece. The issue will be resolved with swords drawn at noon.]


What I will see, and what I’d really like to see next season

By Tony Attwood

I started sketching this notion of what I would like to see next season, about a week ago, and the more I thought about it, the more entangled it got.

So I decided to start with the new bits I will see.

First, I will see the game from a different angle. […]

Not Schneiderlin then. But it is Vidal.

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Oh. So apparently Schneiderlin Day was set up just I could make a fool of myself in predicting the said fella would turn up at Arsenal. Well!

Of course you know the way the bloggettas get around this – they predict everyone is on offer to Arsenal and the say we […]

This could be a player we’ll love and love again.

By Tony Attwood, in gloating mood.

Let me start by taking you back, and for once, not right the way back to 25 July 2008 when I first pointed out that Coquelin had the potential to play for Arsenal. Not that one again. I’ve done that. I mean, I know I said it and it […]

If all the spoofs say it’s a DONE DEAL that must mean it’s a DONE DEAL

By Sir Hardley Anyone

DONE DEAL: Arsenal COMPLETE Transfer of 6ft POWERHOUSE Striker

Actually no, that isn’t the done deal of the day. That is just a contradiction of yesterday’s story that said that Podolski was determined to stay at Arsenal and fight for his place.

Arsenal, going into the summer transfer […]

10 Myths about football that need to be questioned

10 Myths about Football that need to be questioned……Don McMahon

In this interminable hiatus between Arsenal’s FA Cup supremacy and our new season expectations, I felt that an article touching on the pseudo-reality some media and fanboys propose as the ‘ truth’ would be insightful. I will try and refrain when possible, from using AFC […]

All the weird and wonderful stories are piling up at once.

By Sir Hardley Anyone, Dept of the Weird, University of Certain Things at Enfield.

What a strange day – all the weird and wonderful piling up at once. Of course some of these stories broke yesterday and some the day before but it feels like they are all swimming around in a sea of football […]

The Untold Banner: update and information for contributors

By Blacksheep

I am pleased to report that Arsenal have agreed our design for a banner that says ‘Football should be an art’ – the shortened version of Mr Wenger’s phrase “I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art,” which has appeared on […]

A tale of 3 keepers: will Cech actually be an improvement? You might be surprised.

By Walter Broeckx

More and more it is looking very likely that Cech will become an Arsenal player one of these days. Now of course the sky may fall on our heads and it all could go wrong in the last minute but I think even Mourinho has decided that he cannot stop the Cech […]

€40M Arsenal target to have medical, and other spoofs of the day

By Sir Hardley Anyone, spoof king of the decade.

The spoof of the day series presents a review of some of the websites that present advance news in terms of who is seemingly beyond being spotted at the airport and is even now moving into a new house in Totteridge. Except, maybe they aren’t. Take […]

Daily Mail claim Wenger is finally listening to them. If that’s right then its relegation next season.

By Tony Attwood.

I have been waiting for the “Cech spotted at airport” story to emerge, but it seems no, no one is going to oblige. So instead we have Adrian Durham in the Mail.

Now Adrian Durham is a special sort of man. He knows. In fact he knows everything. He is, in short […]

What do we really know about Čech? And about Arsenal keepers.

By Tony Attwood

Starting with Petr Čech of course the big question is which musical instrument does he play? And the answer is percussion.

which should indeed give us confidence.

The potential arrival of a new goalkeeper (which may well have been confirmed by the time you read this or alternatively been […]

The early early CL draw edition

By Walter Broeckx

Today the first draw was made for the European competitions for the season 2015-2016. With this draw one could say that the new run for the big trophy has started. And as Untold is running a bit ahead most of the time why not this time.

So we have already filled the […]

Arsenal’s season review: part 6, the strikers

By Walter Broeckx

To finish this season’s review we will do this with the finishers. The man out there to put the ball in the net. Not that it is their only task of course. Now I could have gone for the left – central – right approach but those who look beyond the ball […]

Public money given to club; player in court; newspaper misleads readers, special anniversaries.

By Tony Attwood

This is a story of stories. Several stories in fact. Stories covering tax fraud, the lavish giving away of public money and the misleading of the public. All in the name of money, or fraud, or maybe just carelessness. Sometimes it is impossible to say.

Indeed I suspect, if you were to […]

Confirmed Arsenal complete 2 shock moves and other spoofs

. By Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, head of psychiatry and odd behaviour at the University College Hospital of the North Circular Road. . It is like a drug I suppose. You know it makes no sense at all, clowns to the left of me jokers to the right… . But still everyone has […]

Those attacking midfielders. What next for Arsenal?

By Walter Broeckx

I don’t usually like to talk about the most important positions on the field for a team as I think that you can only win when all 11 players are performing well enough. But the attacking midfielder certainly is one of those positions that can decided if your attack can score enough […]

Tottenham plan to do it again and again and again and again and…

By Tony Attwood . This isn’t really a piece about Tottenham, although Tottenham figure in it. I am sure there is a similar pattern regarding every other club under the sun, but I happened to spot it vis a vis Tottenham. . It is about the media, and just how lazy they are getting. […]