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It’s saturday night and time for another Untold Quiz (or not as the case may be)

Nat Whilk- Clerk.

Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time

1: Who had the biggest Willie?

a) Willie Old

b) Wee Willie Winky

c) Willie Carson

d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop

e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young […]

Players Currently on Arsenal’s Books – Whose future has to be decided and how many players can we actually sign?

 

by Andrew Crawshaw

The senior squad for all Premier League teams is 25 players aged 21 or more of whom at least 8 have to be ‘home grown’. The age limit is calculated from the 1st of January in which the league season starts.

My understanding of Home Grown means a player who, irrespective […]

Man C discover that Uefa’s FFP if not dead at all but is still alive – and kicking

By Tony Attwood

I’m not always willing to admit when I get it wrong. Sometimes I prefer to hide under the sofa for a few months and hope no one notices. But today, well, today is different. If I have got this one wrong I shall be shocked, amazed, amused, annoyed and extremely happy, all […]

Personal Terms Agreed For 28 Goals €30m Rated Arsenal Target and other spoofs

By Iva Madeitup

So here we are again, another day another load of spoof headlines. The last collection proved to be just about the most popular piece Untold has published this year, so here are eight more, all garnered today, 16 June.

As The Who famously said, “Won’t get fooled again”.

[…]

The box to box midfielders: comparing Ramsey, Wilshere and the Ox

By Walter Broeckx

Having analysed the defensive midfielder I thought the next step would be the box to box midfielders. As they are called now. In my days these were just midfielders who run a lot, but that is the modern times for you.

I put Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere in this category and […]

Football as a means of money laundering. Now there’s a blast from the past.

By Tony Attwood

In 1968, Sir Alf Ramsey described the West Ham player Martin Peters as “ten years ahead of his time”.

It was a singularly odd phrase from a singularly odd man, and one that I suspect Peters came to hate, as every time he failed with a pass or a cross everyone repeated […]

Thursday night is Arsenal quiz night. Well, some night has to be

By Nat Whilk-Clerk.

1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game?

Willie Nelson Nelson Mandela Lord Nelson Sammy Nelson Darth Nelson. Ron Jerem

2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for?

a pile of bricks a […]

Arsenal player review: the mythical beast position

By Walter Broeckx

Let us now have a look at the probably most mythical position on a football field: the defensive midfielder. For this I took the 3 players who have played in that position: Coquelin, Arteta and Flamini. Coquelin had the most match time from the 3 followed closely by Flamini and then the […]

FA equates “Tottenham” to “racism”. Next up: “Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.”

By Tony Attwood

So Jack has been fined £40,000 for shouting “What do you think of Tottenham?” and using the word “shit” in a public place.

Which is the same amount as Suarez was fined for racism by the FA. It really makes me wonder about the FA’s scale of values.

The Suarez incident occurred […]

Arsenal’s season in review: our three central defenders

My apologies – the site is still playing up a little, and not publishing the articles with the right time stamp. Sorry for any oddity you might notice. Tony

By Walter Broeckx

Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main central […]

Which of these 11 players will make the breakthrough for Arsenal next season?

By Tony Attwood

Leaving aside the infinite number of players who are linked, for whom Arsenal are on red alert or who have been seen driving round and round the M25 looking for a signpost saying Highbury, there are a fair number of players who could either breakthrough or make a return.

Whether any of […]

It is that left back thing all over again

We had a technical glitch this lunchtime – not an attack, just a server glitch – and although this article was published it then vanished and reappeared with the wrong date on it. So I’m publishing it again, in case you were not quite quick enough to catch it last time.

Bloody Computers!

Tony

By […]

Deal done and confirmed; medical to follow. Pictures!

Why do they treat us with such contempt?

By Billy “the Dog” McGraw, senior consultant in social deprivation at the University Hospital of the North Circular Road.

I would like to start by telling you exactly who the deal is done for, but unfortunately this is where things break down a bit.

I mean, I […]

Arsenal’s season in review: right back

By Walter Broeckx

Next in our series where we look back at last season we move on to the right back.

A whole lot of data about the main players in that position. At the start of the season all eyes were at Debuchy to step in the footsteps of Sagna. I was one of […]

Arsenal’s season in review: central defenders

By Walter Broeckx

Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main central defenders Per and Kos but also will throw in a few Gabriel stats. Of course Gabriel only came halfway the season and thus played only a handful of matches. Debuchy […]

In the war on Arsenal, the Telegraph is not giving up.

By Tony Attwood, with thanks to Nick the Gooner

 

Maybe it is to hide the embarrassment of their total cock-up in failing to cover John Henry’s revelations about how he lied concerning the Suarez transfer, or maybe they think there is good readership to be had by knocking Arsenal day upon day, but […]

Arsenal’s season in review: the left back

By Walter Broeckx

Next in our series where we look back at last season we move on to the left back.

We had two players playing in that position: Gibbs and Monreal. Bellerin did play there once in the CL but in this series we keep it to the PL only.

When you look at […]

Who should Arsenal buy: the complete guide

Tim Charlesworth

Following the cup final there was a general consensus in the ‘commentatorsphere’ that Arsenal would challenge for the Premiership next season, but only if they bought ‘two or three high quality improvements.

This started me thinking about who or what these reinforcements might be. So here is a view of Arsenal’s players and […]

What happens now to Carl Jenkinson could be a model for the future.

By Tony Attwood

Carl Jenkinson came to Arsenal in 2011 from Charlton for about a £1m transfer fee.

On 11 November 2012 he was given a new six year contract by Arsenal which was reported by the not-necessarily believable Daily Mirror to include a salary of £25,000 a week.

 

He had played just eight […]

Why did Arsenal do so much better in the second half of the season

By Tony Attwood

Last season’s second half improvement was hardly new for Arsenal. Indeed looking back through the club’s history, for every amazing start to a season (like 1947/8 where we won the first six and didn’t get defeated until game 18 – and went on to win the league) one can find multiple seasons […]

The Untold Banner at the Emirates: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Tony Attwood

I’ve just had a call from Blacksheep who, for reasons that will not become clear at this point, is currently driving his car in the outer reaches of Scotland.

And he has told me that he has received confirmation from Arsenal that his project to get an Untold Banner up in the […]

Arsenal’s season in review : the keepers

By Walter Broeckx

How can we pass the time in those boring weeks that Arsenal doesn’t play ?

Why don’t we try to compare the different players a bit and see how they have done in the last season. I will try to work my way through the various positions on the field and see […]

How Squad Values allow an near perfect prediction of league position

by Andrew Crawshaw

Tony picked out some headlines from the newly published Football Observatory article, I also saw it and thought the analysis looked interesting. I am not going to go over the aspects that Tony covered but concentrate on the last table in the article, the overall squad value.

The article compares the squad […]

No! There is a keeper whose name starts with C, but it was the wrong guy!

By Gibberish McGibbon

Our man with a spot

Easy mistake to make of course. Arsenal going to sign a keeper whose name starts with C so we all get worked up about Petr Cech. But no, it turns out it was not him after all but was in fact Iker Casillas of Real Mad.

[…]

Arsenal are not as good as other people think.

By Tony Attwood

When Arsenal toured Brazil in the summer of 1949 it was hailed as a national event in Brazil. They welcomed what they called “the greatest football machine in the world.”

When after the first press conference Arsenal’s manager Tom Whittaker was very annoyed with the way his comments were reported in the […]