By Sir Hardley Anyone DONE DEAL: Arsenal COMPLETE Transfer of 6ft POWERHOUSE Striker Actually no, that isn’t the done deal of the day. That is just a contradiction of yesterday’s story that said that Podolski was determined to stay at Arsenal and fight for his place. Arsenal, going into the summer transfer window are keen …
Read More “If all the spoofs say it’s a DONE DEAL that must mean it’s a DONE DEAL”
By Sir Hardley Anyone, Dept of the Weird, University of Certain Things at Enfield. What a strange day – all the weird and wonderful piling up at once. Of course some of these stories broke yesterday and some the day before but it feels like they are all swimming around in a sea of football …
Read More “All the weird and wonderful stories are piling up at once.”
By Walter Broeckx More and more it is looking very likely that Cech will become an Arsenal player one of these days. Now of course the sky may fall on our heads and it all could go wrong in the last minute but I think even Mourinho has decided that he cannot stop the Cech …
Read More “A tale of 3 keepers: will Cech actually be an improvement? You might be surprised.”
By Tony Attwood. I have been waiting for the “Cech spotted at airport” story to emerge, but it seems no, no one is going to oblige. So instead we have Adrian Durham in the Mail. Now Adrian Durham is a special sort of man. He knows. In fact he knows everything. He is, in short …
Read More “Daily Mail claim Wenger is finally listening to them. If that’s right then its relegation next season.”
By Tony Attwood Starting with Petr Čech of course the big question is which musical instrument does he play? And the answer is percussion. which should indeed give us confidence. The potential arrival of a new goalkeeper (which may well have been confirmed by the time you read this or alternatively been proven to be complete …
Read More “What do we really know about Čech? And about Arsenal keepers.”
By Walter Broeckx Today the first draw was made for the European competitions for the season 2015-2016. With this draw one could say that the new run for the big trophy has started. And as Untold is running a bit ahead most of the time why not this time. So we have already filled the …
Read More “The early early CL draw edition”
By Walter Broeckx To finish this season’s review we will do this with the finishers. The man out there to put the ball in the net. Not that it is their only task of course. Now I could have gone for the left – central – right approach but those who look beyond the ball …
Read More “Arsenal’s season review: part 6, the strikers”
By Tony Attwood This is a story of stories. Several stories in fact. Stories covering tax fraud, the lavish giving away of public money and the misleading of the public. All in the name of money, or fraud, or maybe just carelessness. Sometimes it is impossible to say. Indeed I suspect, if you were to …
Read More “Public money given to club; player in court; newspaper misleads readers, special anniversaries.”
. By Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, head of psychiatry and odd behaviour at the University College Hospital of the North Circular Road. . It is like a drug I suppose. You know it makes no sense at all, clowns to the left of me jokers to the right… . But still everyone has to …
Read More “Confirmed Arsenal complete 2 shock moves and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx I don’t usually like to talk about the most important positions on the field for a team as I think that you can only win when all 11 players are performing well enough. But the attacking midfielder certainly is one of those positions that can decided if your attack can score enough goals. …
Read More “Those attacking midfielders. What next for Arsenal?”
Nat Whilk- Clerk. Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time 1: Who had the biggest Willie? a) Willie Old b) Wee Willie Winky c) Willie Carson d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young was playing …
Read More “It’s saturday night and time for another Untold Quiz (or not as the case may be)”
by Andrew Crawshaw The senior squad for all Premier League teams is 25 players aged 21 or more of whom at least 8 have to be ‘home grown’. The age limit is calculated from the 1st of January in which the league season starts. My understanding of Home Grown means a player who, irrespective of …
Read More “Players Currently on Arsenal’s Books – Whose future has to be decided and how many players can we actually sign?”
By Tony Attwood I’m not always willing to admit when I get it wrong. Sometimes I prefer to hide under the sofa for a few months and hope no one notices. But today, well, today is different. If I have got this one wrong I shall be shocked, amazed, amused, annoyed and extremely happy, all …
Read More “Man C discover that Uefa’s FFP if not dead at all but is still alive – and kicking”
By Iva Madeitup So here we are again, another day another load of spoof headlines. The last collection proved to be just about the most popular piece Untold has published this year, so here are eight more, all garnered today, 16 June. As The Who famously said, “Won’t get fooled again”. Arsenal News – …
Read More “Personal Terms Agreed For 28 Goals €30m Rated Arsenal Target and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx Having analysed the defensive midfielder I thought the next step would be the box to box midfielders. As they are called now. In my days these were just midfielders who run a lot, but that is the modern times for you. I put Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere in this category and …
Read More “The box to box midfielders: comparing Ramsey, Wilshere and the Ox”
By Tony Attwood In 1968, Sir Alf Ramsey described the West Ham player Martin Peters as “ten years ahead of his time”. It was a singularly odd phrase from a singularly odd man, and one that I suspect Peters came to hate, as every time he failed with a pass or a cross everyone repeated …
Read More “Football as a means of money laundering. Now there’s a blast from the past.”
By Nat Whilk-Clerk. 1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game? Willie Nelson Nelson Mandela Lord Nelson Sammy Nelson Darth Nelson. Ron Jerem 2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for? a pile of bricks a pile of …
Read More “Thursday night is Arsenal quiz night. Well, some night has to be”
By Walter Broeckx Let us now have a look at the probably most mythical position on a football field: the defensive midfielder. For this I took the 3 players who have played in that position: Coquelin, Arteta and Flamini. Coquelin had the most match time from the 3 followed closely by Flamini and then the …
Read More “Arsenal player review: the mythical beast position”
By Tony Attwood So Jack has been fined £40,000 for shouting “What do you think of Tottenham?” and using the word “shit” in a public place. Which is the same amount as Suarez was fined for racism by the FA. It really makes me wonder about the FA’s scale of values. The Suarez incident occurred …
Read More “FA equates “Tottenham” to “racism”. Next up: “Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.””
My apologies – the site is still playing up a little, and not publishing the articles with the right time stamp. Sorry for any oddity you might notice. Tony By Walter Broeckx Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main …
Read More “Arsenal’s season in review: our three central defenders”
By Tony Attwood Leaving aside the infinite number of players who are linked, for whom Arsenal are on red alert or who have been seen driving round and round the M25 looking for a signpost saying Highbury, there are a fair number of players who could either breakthrough or make a return. Whether any of …
Read More “Which of these 11 players will make the breakthrough for Arsenal next season?”
We had a technical glitch this lunchtime – not an attack, just a server glitch – and although this article was published it then vanished and reappeared with the wrong date on it. So I’m publishing it again, in case you were not quite quick enough to catch it last time. Bloody Computers! Tony By …
Read More “It is that left back thing all over again”
Why do they treat us with such contempt? By Billy “the Dog” McGraw, senior consultant in social deprivation at the University Hospital of the North Circular Road. I would like to start by telling you exactly who the deal is done for, but unfortunately this is where things break down a bit. I mean, I …
Read More “Deal done and confirmed; medical to follow. Pictures!”
By Walter Broeckx Next in our series where we look back at last season we move on to the right back. A whole lot of data about the main players in that position. At the start of the season all eyes were at Debuchy to step in the footsteps of Sagna. I was one of …
Read More “Arsenal’s season in review: right back”
By Walter Broeckx Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main central defenders Per and Kos but also will throw in a few Gabriel stats. Of course Gabriel only came halfway the season and thus played only a handful of matches. Debuchy …
Read More “Arsenal’s season in review: central defenders”