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September 2008

Some people never get it right

Early in 2007 the story was going around that Flamini (who we signed from Marseille in 2004) was fed up with the lack of starting opportunities he had at Arsenal. He was played in a lot of games, but mostly as a substitute.

Flamini didn’t leave at the end of 2006/7 of course, and […]

How will the FA punish Tottenham H for the behaviour of their fans?


There was a time, when Sol Campbell was playing at Arsenal, when we’d all sing the song that starts (in its recorded version) “Hey Baby, I wanna know…” The second word was changed.


The club made a big fuss about it and said anyone who sang that naughty little […]

Now I really am getting worried

I wrote the previous piece about the number of shots the teams had on saturday night, and then really worried. Could the Manchester Bankrupt figure of 32 shots be right? It seems insanely high.

I took that figure from the Guardian web site – along with all the others – and so decided to go […]

Arsenal 18 Hull 8

That scoreline is the number of shots each side had. To give you an idea of where that stands in the scheme of things here’s some other weekend scores based on goal attempts

Wigan 10, Manchester Arab 11

Stoke 5 CSKA Fulham 14

Manchester B 32 Bolton 10

Aston V 12, Sunderland 9

Portsmouth 9 […]

Tottenham could turn to Venebles… or Untold Arsenal

It is the time of year when Tottenham change their manager. It matters not whether the current manager is a decent guy having a hard time at an insane club, or a jumped up twirp who really has limited ability and no power as the big men on the board do their crazy thing.

One […]

One defeat changes nothing

Here’s a simple fact – we’re two points behind the leaders, with a goal difference that is only one worse than the leaders.

Here’s another fact – our children’s team looked a dream and a half on tuesday.

Or another fact – even if Manchester Bankrupt win their game in hand we are still above […]

Thierry ready to leave Barca – but what would we do with him?

Thierry Henry said in an interview published on 26 September that he will consider leaving Barcelona in January if the coach Pep Guardiola leaves him on the bench much more.

What the great man actually said in L’Equipe was, “For now, it is not a matter of the moment. But if things stay the same, […]

Criris News: an occasional guide to the cock-ups of our friends in football

Newcastle Zebras. The Zebras reach number one this week through the sheer weight of crazy events. Top of the pile must be the attempt to get the man from Dagenham whose business activities have raised the odd eyebrow, to be manager. That is manager of a club where the fans walk around the ground with […]

Platini about to go even more ballistic over Arsenal

Backing off from his attack on the Lord Wenger, Platini has now said this, “When I talk about business, I mean attracting young players aged 13 or 14. I can’t bear that,”

Platini was speaking in an interview with French newspaper Sud-Ouest published on 25 September.

So what on earth will Platini do when he […]

Jack Wilshere to become manager of Tottenham

I agree entirely with the comment made on my last post concerning the issue of Gascoigne – it is totally inappropriate to start a rumour over the supposed death of a man suffers from psychiatric problems. (My joke, you will have noticed, was about Newcastle, not Gascoigne).

But the publication of the rumour did make […]

Why Flamini-replacement is a false concept

I don’t keep a diary of each game I watch, so when thinking of past games I have to rely on memory – which can be notoriously false.

But having given that proviso, I am not sure that Flamini was as good as he is now made out to be.

Certainly his games before the […]

Lord Wenger faces an enormous problem

What Arsenal desperately need is not more players, but rather more competitions.

Consider the issue of the forwards. Adebayor and van Persie have the key positions up front. They might occasionally be rested or be injured – so in pops Bendtner who has shown his ability to score teams from the Tiny Totts and Notlob […]

Cleric in Arsenal attack

The Pastafarian Bishop of Tottenham (The Rt Reverend Hardly Anyone) has condemned the tactics of Arsene Wenger (manager of Arsenal) ahead of tonight’s game with Sheffield United.

As Untold Arsenal exclusively revealed earlier today, Wenger has taken the unusual step of playing an unborn foetus in the troublesome defensive midfield role.

“This practice is specifically […]

Nursery concerned at Arsenal’s use of 2 year olds in game v Sheffield U

In a dramatic move the Lord Wenger has announced that in addition to the usual round of two and three year olds that he normally selects for the Diddly-Widdly Cup, for tonight’s game against Sheffield Untidy he will be selecting a foetus to play in the defensive mid-field holding role.

The foetus’ mother, who remains […]

Do we need a defensive midfielder?

As we all know Mr Wenger did not buy in the transfer window (to the great dismay and frustration of most bloggers and commentators it would seem) because he felt that he had the squad he needed.

My guess (and of course it is never more than that) is that the plan was to play […]

Tottenham hackers hijack Goonernews

Some hilarity on the excellent Goonernews site today (21 September) when at 1205 the official blurb on the right side of the home page read

Welcome to providing the latest Tottenham Hotspur News 24 hours a day from hundreds of football news sources. Every Tottenham Hotspur FC news story, all on one page. We […]

“the old Arsenal failing of not scoring enough”

That is a quote from today’s Observer (21 Sept 2008). The paper says, “…but it also hints at the old Arsenal failing of not scoring enough goals while the going is good.”

Of course during the wonderful first half spell when the side repeated the torture of Blackburn Thugs last weekend it would have been […]

Arsenal flourishes as capitalism ends

Another year, another financial statement. And another attempt by a bunch of spivs and their banker allies to destroy our lives and our finances. They had one go in the dotcom fiasco. Now they’ve had another bash with house lending. Worse, they are already planning the next attack.

Amazingly, while clubs like Manchester […]

It is easy to forget how awful it used to be

We thought of Bruce Rioch this week because he brought a Danish team of no significance to Celtic and got a draw.

And then we remembered that one dreadful season he had with Arsenal – a further reminder of which was given last night on Arsenal TV with the showing of the last match […]

Manchester U finances just get worse and worse

There’s bad news and then there’s even worse news for our dear old chums at Manchester Bankrupt.

There is a thing called base rate – interest rates are worked out on that. It stands at 5%, which means that your mortgage costs you a bit more than that – maybe 7%.

So it is with […]

Arsenal draw as capitalism comes to an end

Sometimes I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or just giggle a bit and wander off into the night.

The approach of the opposition in the Ukraine last night was aggressive in all its senses, and clearly Wenger was right to complain and be angry at the end.

But the key point surely is that […]

Manchester U sponsors taken over by US government

AIG, sponsors of Manchester Bankrupt, have been taken over by the US government. The company told the government that it needed $80 billion to keep going, and rather than have the company crash, the government loaned the company the money, effectively giving the state an 80% stake.

It is impossible at this stage to know […]

A few constructive thoughts about Tottenham Hotspur…

Mr Ramos – that awfully nice chap in charge of the football club that plays at 748 Tottenham High Road, has got 19 victories from 46 matches, a 41% win record.

That might look fairly awful but regular Tottenham watchers (if there are such things) will know that this is fairly normal […]

The Tiny Totts Top the Table

Tottenham Hotspur have made a dramatic rise to the top of the Chaos Table – the league listing of EPL clubs in a total mess. Having spent over £50 million in transfer fees this summer and once again let it be known that they are ready to break into the top 4, they sit hopelessly […]

How’s it going Mr Flamini? Mr Hleb?

Early season league tables can be misleading – but they can also be fun. You know the joke – “Let’s read the league table – first Tottenham Hotspur… oh sorry I’m holding it upside down.”

But even allowing for early season what-nots there must surely be a twinge of concern in the faces of Mr […]