Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
It is tempting to say it has been a bad week for the BBC – looking stupid over totally ignoring the FA Youth Cup Final and now having their lead football reporter threaten violence against a fellow journalist while broadcasting. But I fear the powers in the BBC don’t even recognise any of this as …
Read More ““I will kick him; I will kick him” – Alan Green last night”
The first rule of journalism is fill you spacce with the official line – cos if you don’t someone else will take your space, and you might be asked again. The second rule of journalism is never apologise, never explain. So it is that as it has become utterly clear that only a handful of …
Read More “This Sunday we’ll tell Arsene Wenger what we think of him”
To celebrate Anorak Friday, Untold Arsenal met ex-Arsenal and ex-Blackburn superstar Aaron Fortesque Bentley, who is now knocking them in and laying them low for Hottentot Reservoirs in their crowd filled arena at Leyton Ointment. Untold Arsenal asked Mr Bentley if he was enjoying his current stint as a working foot-baller. U-A: Are you enjoying …
A small number of Arsenal supporters who dislike Arsene Wenger, Tottenham and KGB Fulham supporters happy to stir up any discontent inside the Emirates, UEFA dogsbodies who dislike the big clubs’ success, and national newspapers always looking for a story that needs no research, have combined to try and disrupt the current Arsenal regime. Having …
It may be too much to be true, but when the Times ran their insanely insane and pathetically stupidly ludicrous story that Pat Rice was going to retire from the club, I just wondered – had we caused that? Since Untold Arsenal and its 60,000 readers ran the slightly amusing little piece predicting all the …
The government has turned to Arsenal FC in an attempt to sort out the current crisis over fraudulent claims for expenses by MPs. “At the moment I think we are getting away with it,” said Gordon Cameron, speaking from his bunker in Whitehall. “Most people are simply phoning Radio 5 and saying they are …
Read More “Government calls in Arsenal shareholder over expenses crisis”
I’ve noticed it for some time, and I still can’t quite understand it. It is a form of logic that appears in the newspapers and on TV, and it goes like this: Arsenal failed to win the Champs League, FA Cup and EPL this year because Wenger only likes to play young players. Because of …
I have been getting seriously worried. We had that little bit of a laugh over how every club in the multiverse will be bidding for our players, and how they will all be leaving, and the club will fall apart and we will be heading for League Two or wherever it is that Southampton play. …
I once described Eboue as a clown, and got lambasted like mad for it. What I actually meant to say was that I thought he had a wicked sense of humour like the best clowns – but no one wanted to know about my excuses and I was denounced repeatedly as a racist. Perry Groves …
Strange days. Ever since I saw the teams for last night’s Reserve game against the Tiny Totts I have been puzzling over the tactics of the Appy Arry cartoon character who seemingly runs the show down the poor end of Seven Sisters. As I was saying yesterday he knew damn well that Arsenal would put …
Read More “Tottenham trouble, Arsenal adventure, Liverpool liquidation”
Tricky thing this journalist business but I think I am get the hang of the headline writer’s craft. Anyway, it was on friday that I noted that both Radio 5 and the Guardian were saying that we had 3 of our back four out when I could only count two. As Ian said in correspondence, …
Read More “Jocular juvenile jackass journalist jinx Johan Djourou in jolly jailbreak jest”
In my all encompassing survey of ways of knocking the Arsenal employed by journalists and bloggers I thought I had just about done it all, seen it all, and covered all the ways in which people can knock the Arsenal. But then comes along the Bleacher Report run by Foxy News (a fanatical right wing …
Read More “Knocking the Arsenal: Weirder than the last one which was the weirdest yet”
This media story is so odd that I have spent half the morning thinking about it, wondering if I am having one of those blank spots, one of those moments where you are sure that grass is pink, and have to be taken outside by the grandchildren to have it proven to you that by …
Knock the Arsenal is a game played by journalists from Wapping Swamp and other locations in which silly made up stories that show Arsenal in a bad light are circulated. The new version of the show works like this… First, find the name of any semi-famous player, or failing that make up the name of …
Given that everyone and his spaniel is chattering away about tonight’s little event in Spain (quite naturally, I’ve already got my Arsenal socks on and I’m just watching it in front of the TV), there’s no point it adding anything else from me. So, just in case anyone is reading, what about the Under 18s? …
Two things have happened… one involves Mr T Henry, one involves UEFA/FIFA. Mr Henry first. According to Square Football today 1 April he will sign for Tottenham. Given that today is 1 April, one presumes that this is an April fool. But given that Square Football is not above posting some very strange pieces without …
Read More “Insanity Day meets April Fool. Come and watch Arsenal reserves”
It started as a little joke – but got more comments than most posts on this site: a list earlier this week predicting that everyone would leave the club this summer. Exactly the sort of rubbish the charlatans who write newspaper football columns write. And would you believe it, the News of the World jumped …
Read More “News of the World runs Untold Arsenal “Cesc leaving” story today”
As you’ll know if you read the wonderful honest excellently truthful British sporting pages, every year every single player from Arsenal is about to leave and play somewhere else. In fact, what actually happens is that the Lord Wenger manipulates the market in order to move on players that he thinks have come to the …
Read More “Entire Arsenal first team will leave this summer”
If you follow the women’s game you’ll know that for years we’ve dominated, going for century after century without being beaten by anyone. But this year Everton have tried to match the record. The Arsenal/Everton games have somehow slipped back to the end of the season, which is how we have Arsenal played 15 won …
There were gasps of horror and amazement yesterday in the dim and distant north east as a bunch of men dressed in zebra outfits assaulted Arsenal players who were attempting to play a game of football. In one incident Arshavin was smashed in the face, while in two others Clichy was twice pulled down, once …
The extent of the collapse of football as a contest between two teams looking to play approximately by the spirit as well as the letter of the rules was once again revealed at the Ems as Hull added the new insanity of rotational accusation to their well-practiced rotational fouling and rotational timewasting. With the Hull …
Read More “EPL bring the game into disrepute. Arsenal 15 Hull 2.”
I don’t read everything in the sporting press, obviously, but so far I have not found any serious condemnation of the tactics of Blackburn in the press. On Match of the Day the BBC commentators laughed at the diving, and noted the attack on Almunia, but left it at that. The notion that Allerdyce had …
So I wasn’t on my own in thinking that there was something seriously wrong with football commentaries on TV. Two things come out of the comments made about the game against Roma: one was the fact that TV commentators regularly urge footballers to be more violent, and the other was the wholesale negativity directed against …
Mediation has posted a comment on my last set of ravings which I think is infinitely more important than anything I have to say, so I want to give it full blast here. Mediation cites an interview by Roy Keane in the Telegraph about TV pundits and Sky Gibberish in particular and this is part …
Read More “Roy Keane on Arsene Wenger: everyone should read this”
I have no idea if anyone who went to Rome ever reads my rambling comments, but if they do, I would like to say a very deep thank-you for last night. I couldn’t go because of work commitments, but to see them there, to hear the noise, and to watch the Arsenal players quite rightly …
Read More “Thanks for the away support, and the horror of Sky”
