Editor’s preamble: I am thrilled to announce that Phil Gregory has been found, dusted down, and has provided his pre-match analysis. My match review will (snow willing) be appearing in the Observer on Sunday. Now Phil’s piece… Arsenal “welcome” Hull to the Emirates Cup for a clash that has plenty of controversy surrounding it, despite …
Read More “From across the galaxies, the overwhelming Untold Arsenal prediction service…”
Way back before the dawn of the space time continuum I worked as a writer of (among other things) science fiction books of the Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 variety. So I know all about temporal distortions, reversing the polarity, and “Absolute zero sub-ether technology,” which Avon described as “clever stuff.” Which is why I …
Read More “Arsenal enters a time loop, and Hull accuse an Arsenal player of having an offensive wife”
By Walter Broeckx Tuesday evening. Wife not at home. Anything on the TV? Oh yes they give a game of the EPL this evening. Well I might take a look. So I put on my sporting channel and instead of a game of the EPL I see it’s a game of the BEPL. The Bent …
Read More “Wolverhampton Reserves and Arsenal Reserves – where’s the difference?”
by Phil Gregory Three points at Anfield. Excellent. Exactly what we needed given the opportunity provided thanks to United and Chelsea’s poor results. The Gunners next trek up Turf Moor to face a Burnley side surpassing all expectations in the Premier League this season. Recent form: Arsenal secured their second win on the trot at …
Read More “The famous Untold Arsenal prediction service: Burnley away.”
Here it is – part of the text from last night… “2-1 to the Arsenal,” said Billy. “Hat-trick for Theo,” I agreed. OK I got the goalscorer wrong, but the score was once again correct, and the notion of the own goal was right – although once again I admit I got the side wrong. …
Read More “How many predictions do I have to get right before you believe?”
By Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood Knocking the Arsenal is an important part of the job of every reporter. To be fair some do back off when we are playing brilliant football and winning stuff (only the Guardian and Observer did snarling cynical pieces about the club in the days after we finished the unbeaten …
Read More “How to knock the Arsenal: a journalists’ guide”
You have to be a genius to do this – by Walter Broeckx On November 14 the worst thing happened again. The international games took its toll and Van Persie was out for what seems to be now 4 or 5 months. Van Persie was the focus of our attack. He was scoring goals, he …
Read More “A work of total genius”
Arsenal vs. Stoke preview On Saturday, Arsenal play host to Stoke City on a day that marks the 100 year anniversary of the first ever North London derby! Pulis is marking himself to be a bit of an Allardyce in terms of management approach: he makes no apologies for his side’s style of play, and …
Read More “Arsenal v Stoke, the facts, stats, and the result before it even happens”
Arsenal reserves vs. Man City by Phil Gregory Nothing like a bit of Carling Cup action to soothe the pain of the weekend’s result! When the draw came out, I was admittedly apprehensive, being that at that point, City were playing their first team in the competition and were on top form. Now however, I’m …
Read More “Arsenal reserves vs. Man City; teams, tactics and the result”
It was a very subdued Billy the Dog McGraw at the Toppled Bollard public house today as we gathered just beyond our old spiritual home, deliberately drinking in the street, just to annoy the police. The news had come through about Rob VP, another martyr to the insane stupidity of the international friendly. I debated …
Read More “Blaming Holland is like blaming Pink Floyd for Syd Barrett’s death”
By Phil Gregory Chelsea come to the Emirates today in a much anticipated tie as far as Arsenal’s title challenge goes. With the pundits shifting from claiming we’re going to score over a hundred goals this season to stating we’re out of the title race in the space of one dodgy performance after the international …
Read More “The complete and all-inclusive preview: Arsenal against the KGB”
Just in case I have lost you a little with that headline let me explain… Yesterday in a world exclusive Walter and I interviewed the manager of Standard Liege and discussed with him the way in which he thought the game would go. He predicted that the key to the game would be the issue …
Read More “Untold’s prediction is utterly perfect: Arsenal 25 Standard 10 Balls 6”
Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood meet László Bölöni Most visiting teams playing at the Ems tend to stay at the Toppled Bollard (also known as the Auld Triangle) in Islington, and so it was natural that this week Walter, our Belgium correspondent and I (UNTOLD’s resident loonie) went to meet Transylvanian László Bölöni, manager of Royal …
Read More “An exclusive interview with Bölöni – manager of Royal Standard de Liège”
That’s how close it was – we had two shots on target, they had one. So it goes – we did an experiment with an experimental line up, and it didn’t deliver. If it had, Wenger would have been the greatest genius of all time, the wonder kid, the inspiration of a generation of managers …
Read More “Sunderland 1 Arsenal 2”
By Walter Broeckx Want a player ranking after a game? Don’t worry there are 84 trillion sites that do it, and that is just for Arsenal. But how many sites do reviews of referee performances match by match, and then use the “Hey-let’s-injure-your-players” break to summarise? There is of course only one place in the …
Read More “Other sites review the players: we review the refs”
With our regular pre-match pundit being asked (bizarrely) to write an essay by his university (something that never happened when I was a student) we turn this week to Billy “The Dog” McGraw, landlord of the Toppled Bollard, St Thomas’ Rd, for a run down on the match against the London Street Atlas, or A …
Read More “Arsenal v A to Z: the teams, the tactics and Billy “The Dog”.”
Billy “The Dog” McGraw speaks exclusively to Untold Arsenal ahead of the vital match against the Tiny Totts. I tell you something, we ain’t got a fucking chance, darling. The defence is so over the place we could let in six. Just make it a pint Vice-Chancellor. Call themselves defenders, they spend half their time …
Read More “Arsenal/Totts: the pub bore speaks”
By Gf60 There are no games in the season that fill me with more terror than the Spuds. It’s 90 minutes of having a pulse rate way too high for an old fart, bitten fingernails, and nervous twitches…and that’s when we’re a few goals up. Yes it has been 10 years almost to the week since …
Read More “The sheer terror of Tottenham”
By Billy “the Dog” McGraw watching the TV in the Auld Triangle God this was awful. Arsenal didn’t have a clue. Mine’s a pint of Carlsberg. When Liverpool attacked Arsenal had no idea how to clear the ball, and I’ll smash the face in of anyone who says anything else. It can’t get any worse. …
Read More “Arsenal/Liverpool: the pub bore report”
By Phil Gregory Arsenal welcome Liverpool to the Emirates stadium for Wednesday’s Carling Cup tie. The Reds, already six points off the pace in the Premier League despite a solid home win over champions Manchester United are expected to put out a below strength side for the tie with an eye on their match at …
Read More “Arsenal/Liverpool: team sheet and complete analysis”
By Phil Gregory Arsenal travel to Upton Park looking to heap more pressure on a beleaguered Gianfranco Zola. The West Ham boss has not seen his team win since August, and sitting three points adrift of safety, Hammers fans will be hoping for, but not expecting an upset. Recent form: West Ham are growing desperate …
Read More “WHU v Arsenal: teams and the complete preview”
Henri Lansbury – what a player in the making. If for no reason other than to see the midfielder play for Watford you tuned into Sky last night you would have seen him score a terrific goal. A pass, the perfect positioning for a return, heads for goal, a player on either side of him …
Read More “Lansbury gets 2+1, WHAM supporters sanguine”
Untold Fouls, by Walter Broeckx Since the tackle on Theo Walcott by Ridgewell in the Birmingham game there is some debate going on about what is allowed when a player tackles and what is not allowed. I’m going to try to give an overview on how a ref should handle the different cases that can …
Read More “That foul on Theo: the referee’s view”
Alkmaar vs Arsenal preview by Phil Gregory Arsenal travel away to Alkmaar on Tuesday, searching for a third consecutive win in group H. Alkmaar, managed by Dutchman Ronald Koeman, lie bottom of group H with a single point after the first two fixtures. As a manager, the former Dutch international is a bit of an …
Read More “Alkmaar v Arsenal: the complete preview”
Last time Birmingham “Evil Empire” were at the Ems we watched their manager direct players to go down, lie down, roll around… anything and everything to break up play. It is a testimony to the magnitude of the Wengerian revolution that we can now saunter past the “Team coach in the goal” clubs like Blackburn …
Read More “Jumping, stamping, screaming, pushing, kicking, abusing, protesting. Yep: its the Birmingham City management team”
