Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
Below is an article by Walter Broeckx, but before that, a quick editorial, as it were… I am still not sure if the correspondence following the post on 31 December was the funniest thing or the saddest thing I’ve ever seen on this site. Even after the top of the article was changed to make …
By Billy the Dog McGraw, Enfield Allotments, Middlesex. I have rarely seen my old mate Tony Attwood as close to tears as he was when he approached me this morning on the allotment. I was just nattering to that Dennis Bergkamp who grows carrots next to my plot, when Tony rushed up. “They’re all arguing …
Prologue from the Editor: I regret to say that a campaign has been launched by some of the lesser clubs in the league against our revealing the score before the matches happen. They speak of lower crowds than might be expected if the result were not known, and demoralised players who realise they have no …
Read More “Portsmouth away: the teams, the details, the result but this time not the score.”
By Walter Broeckx You could say that the game against Villa started on December 24 at 4pm. It was the moment the president of our fan club phoned me to say that our member that makes the bookings on the Eurostar trains received the message that our booking had been cancelled. It was a bit …
Untold predicted Arsenal 2 Villa 1, and we were wrong. I am really sorry, I apologise unreservedly. I have let you, faithful reader, down. And I have done it at a time of peace and goodwill. It is a terrible lapse. I can’t imagine how we got it oh so wrong. It will never happen …
Read More “Arsenal 9 Villa 2, and a deep and sincere apology”
Phil Gregory got the score against Hull absolutely right, following on the overwhelmingly brilliant prediction here for the Liverpool game. Indeed we also got the Burnley match absolutely right apart from the score and the result. So here we go again with Phil’s preview and prediction. Oh and don’t forget the excitingly stunning advertisement for …
As I sometimes get the remark that we only talk about the ref after a defeat, I will try to change this for once. The reason is 3 games in a week and all three with some debatable decisions. Some went our way, others not. So let’s go to the game at Anfield. The first …
Redknapp to be charged with defrauding Revenue and Customs Untold Arsenal predicts EXACTLY the right score yet again!!! Oh where to begin? The is the second Tottenham manager in recent history to have had a little contretemps with the authorities while holding that esteemed office. In 1987 David Pleat was cautioned concerning kerb crawling (the …
Read More “Arry charged with tax evasion; Untold predicts the exact score YET AGAIN”
Editor’s preamble: I am thrilled to announce that Phil Gregory has been found, dusted down, and has provided his pre-match analysis. My match review will (snow willing) be appearing in the Observer on Sunday. Now Phil’s piece… Arsenal “welcome” Hull to the Emirates Cup for a clash that has plenty of controversy surrounding it, despite …
Read More “From across the galaxies, the overwhelming Untold Arsenal prediction service…”
Way back before the dawn of the space time continuum I worked as a writer of (among other things) science fiction books of the Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 variety. So I know all about temporal distortions, reversing the polarity, and “Absolute zero sub-ether technology,” which Avon described as “clever stuff.” Which is why I …
By Walter Broeckx Tuesday evening. Wife not at home. Anything on the TV? Oh yes they give a game of the EPL this evening. Well I might take a look. So I put on my sporting channel and instead of a game of the EPL I see it’s a game of the BEPL. The Bent …
Read More “Wolverhampton Reserves and Arsenal Reserves – where’s the difference?”
by Phil Gregory Three points at Anfield. Excellent. Exactly what we needed given the opportunity provided thanks to United and Chelsea’s poor results. The Gunners next trek up Turf Moor to face a Burnley side surpassing all expectations in the Premier League this season. Recent form: Arsenal secured their second win on the trot at …
Read More “The famous Untold Arsenal prediction service: Burnley away.”
Here it is – part of the text from last night… “2-1 to the Arsenal,” said Billy. “Hat-trick for Theo,” I agreed. OK I got the goalscorer wrong, but the score was once again correct, and the notion of the own goal was right – although once again I admit I got the side wrong. …
Read More “How many predictions do I have to get right before you believe?”
By Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood Knocking the Arsenal is an important part of the job of every reporter. To be fair some do back off when we are playing brilliant football and winning stuff (only the Guardian and Observer did snarling cynical pieces about the club in the days after we finished the unbeaten …
You have to be a genius to do this – by Walter Broeckx On November 14 the worst thing happened again. The international games took its toll and Van Persie was out for what seems to be now 4 or 5 months. Van Persie was the focus of our attack. He was scoring goals, he …
Arsenal vs. Stoke preview On Saturday, Arsenal play host to Stoke City on a day that marks the 100 year anniversary of the first ever North London derby! Pulis is marking himself to be a bit of an Allardyce in terms of management approach: he makes no apologies for his side’s style of play, and …
Read More “Arsenal v Stoke, the facts, stats, and the result before it even happens”
Arsenal reserves vs. Man City by Phil Gregory Nothing like a bit of Carling Cup action to soothe the pain of the weekend’s result! When the draw came out, I was admittedly apprehensive, being that at that point, City were playing their first team in the competition and were on top form. Now however, I’m …
Read More “Arsenal reserves vs. Man City; teams, tactics and the result”
It was a very subdued Billy the Dog McGraw at the Toppled Bollard public house today as we gathered just beyond our old spiritual home, deliberately drinking in the street, just to annoy the police. The news had come through about Rob VP, another martyr to the insane stupidity of the international friendly. I debated …
Read More “Blaming Holland is like blaming Pink Floyd for Syd Barrett’s death”
By Phil Gregory Chelsea come to the Emirates today in a much anticipated tie as far as Arsenal’s title challenge goes. With the pundits shifting from claiming we’re going to score over a hundred goals this season to stating we’re out of the title race in the space of one dodgy performance after the international …
Read More “The complete and all-inclusive preview: Arsenal against the KGB”
Just in case I have lost you a little with that headline let me explain… Yesterday in a world exclusive Walter and I interviewed the manager of Standard Liege and discussed with him the way in which he thought the game would go. He predicted that the key to the game would be the issue …
Read More “Untold’s prediction is utterly perfect: Arsenal 25 Standard 10 Balls 6”
Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood meet László Bölöni Most visiting teams playing at the Ems tend to stay at the Toppled Bollard (also known as the Auld Triangle) in Islington, and so it was natural that this week Walter, our Belgium correspondent and I (UNTOLD’s resident loonie) went to meet Transylvanian László Bölöni, manager of Royal …
Read More “An exclusive interview with Bölöni – manager of Royal Standard de Liège”
That’s how close it was – we had two shots on target, they had one. So it goes – we did an experiment with an experimental line up, and it didn’t deliver. If it had, Wenger would have been the greatest genius of all time, the wonder kid, the inspiration of a generation of managers …
By Walter Broeckx Want a player ranking after a game? Don’t worry there are 84 trillion sites that do it, and that is just for Arsenal. But how many sites do reviews of referee performances match by match, and then use the “Hey-let’s-injure-your-players” break to summarise? There is of course only one place in the …
Read More “Other sites review the players: we review the refs”
With our regular pre-match pundit being asked (bizarrely) to write an essay by his university (something that never happened when I was a student) we turn this week to Billy “The Dog” McGraw, landlord of the Toppled Bollard, St Thomas’ Rd, for a run down on the match against the London Street Atlas, or A …
Read More “Arsenal v A to Z: the teams, the tactics and Billy “The Dog”.”
Billy “The Dog” McGraw speaks exclusively to Untold Arsenal ahead of the vital match against the Tiny Totts. I tell you something, we ain’t got a fucking chance, darling. The defence is so over the place we could let in six. Just make it a pint Vice-Chancellor. Call themselves defenders, they spend half their time …
