Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
1. Take individual moments from games and use them as proof for your point. But avoid seeing these in context. So if a player makes a bad pass just before the opposition score, focus on that, blame him for the goal, and ignore anything else he did in the game. Keep the whole argument incredibly …
Read More “How to be an Arsenal doom and gloomer in ten easy steps”
In a tearful and emotional statement, Billy The Dog McGraw, landlord of the Toppled Bollard, just off Gillespie Road, today denied that he had had any close or passionate relationship with golf master Tiger Woods. “It is stupid to suggest I could do such a thing,” said Billy over a pint of vodka. “Do I …
Read More “Billy the Dog McGraw denies intimate relationship with Tiger Woods. Exclusive!”
It was a very subdued Billy the Dog McGraw at the Toppled Bollard public house today as we gathered just beyond our old spiritual home, deliberately drinking in the street, just to annoy the police. The news had come through about Rob VP, another martyr to the insane stupidity of the international friendly. I debated …
Read More “Blaming Holland is like blaming Pink Floyd for Syd Barrett’s death”
Last week I wrote a piece for an Arsenal web site in India, in return for the piece they wrote for Untold. It went up, and they said nice things about it. No problem. Yesterday, it reappeared on another site with a different headline. The author said it was the funniest article he had ever …
Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood meet László Bölöni Most visiting teams playing at the Ems tend to stay at the Toppled Bollard (also known as the Auld Triangle) in Islington, and so it was natural that this week Walter, our Belgium correspondent and I (UNTOLD’s resident loonie) went to meet Transylvanian László Bölöni, manager of Royal …
Read More “An exclusive interview with Bölöni – manager of Royal Standard de Liège”
Tottenham Hotspur have continued their theme of celebrating matches against Arsenal with a special edition DVD and Spurs coffee mug following the 3-0 defeat on saturday. The official reason for this release is not that the club like to find every possible way of ripping off its supporters and getting them to fork out good …
Read More “Totts issue celebratory mug and DVD after Saturday game”
Big Ears: So Noddy, what did you make of it? Noddy: Well the red half of north London will be crowing with delight but when you look at the game in detail you can see it is more likely a false dawn. Big Ears: Or a red sunset. Noddy: Or a red mist. Big Ears: …
Read More “Arsenal/Totts: Exclusive pre-broadcast release of MOTD discussion”
15 October 2009 “‘If people are stupid enough to shout abuse when I go back [to Portsmouth] they need their heads looking at.” 16 October 2009 “I know some idiots will try to have a go.” 17 October 2009, The Sun: “Harry Redknapp has let rip on the eve of his explosive return to Fratton …
By Billy “the Dog” McGraw watching the TV in the Auld Triangle God this was awful. Arsenal didn’t have a clue. Mine’s a pint of Carlsberg. When Liverpool attacked Arsenal had no idea how to clear the ball, and I’ll smash the face in of anyone who says anything else. It can’t get any worse. …
I can’t tell you how brilliant the correspondents of this site are. The other night “LRV” summed up the forthcoming Arsenal/Evil Empire game from this saturday with a perfect quote from Yeats: “Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” How good is that? And would you know it, while we were discussing the appalling nature …
Read More “Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world: Arsenal vs Birmingham Evil”
As usual Phil has done an excellent, well-researched piece which tells us all we need to know (see last post if you haven’t read it – you really can’t watch the match without it). Which naturally allows me a chance to do my usual jink around the fringes of reality and consider the delicate matter …
Read More “Royal Standard de Liège: the result before it happens”
All tomorrow’s parties: the service that tells you the result before the game has kicked off. You will be excused if you don’t know that Celtic are playing Arsenal tonight, as the BBC has ordered a virtual blackout of news on the game. This follows the appalling embarrassment the Corporation faced after their “expert” Mark …
Read More “Celtic/Arsenal: the score and match report before it happens”
As you may know, Team Talk often take articles from here and publishes them later under other people’s names. I was discussing this with TT yesterday and patiently explaining the software they need to install to stop this, when it suddenly occurred to me that if I reversed the polarity (as we used to do …
Read More “All Tomorrow’s Parties: Everton/Arsenal report and result before the game is played”
by Michael Fisher and Tony Attwood There is this supporter. She is, well, different. She inhabited Highbury, and she is now in residence at the Ems. She is there at every game. She has her own seat and such is her presence that some people edge away. Others have signed a petition to have her …
Read More “All the people you would really prefer not to sit next to at Arsenal”
Despite my regular protests Team Talk won’t do anything about people taking Untold Arsenal stories and sticking them on the TT site, with no acknowledgment. OK it is not that important, and you can say, “so what?” and “get over it”. And I see your point, squire, but… I am sure Team Talk won’t mind …
Read More “Untold Arsenal in habitual How to thrash the clubs”
Just as I was thinking we’d had enough of hoaxes on this site for a while, a post turned up claiming that “Wenger is London’s least popular Premier League manager in the eyes of his club’s own supporters with Roy Hodgson, Guus Hiddink, Gianfranco Zola and Harry Redknapp all polling higher marks for last season” …
Read More “Evening Standard launch another hoax Arsenal story, but its not very good”
Anthony Kastrinakis. the man behind the Sun’s famous Fábregas-to-Madrid hoax has been arrested by police. Kastrinakis’ article which claimed that Fábregas was ready to play for Real Madrid was picked up by Arsenal blogs and national newspapers, making it the most successful football hoax in the history of football journalism. The Sun had for some …
Read More “Man responsible for Sun Fábregas hoax arrested by police”
According to reports on Team Talk today, the Bank of England has lost the pound, sending Arsenal FC into chaos. Numerous players – most notably Andre Adebayor, Armand Almunia and Amaury Arshavin – have demanded an immediate renegotiation of their contracts. “I had no idea that the pound could be lost,” said the Russian ringmaster, …
There’s a story that has cropped up a few times recently, and it goes like this… Arsène Wenger is on holiday or in the Far East or both, when he should be concluding deals in Europe. If he can’t take the club seriously he should be sacked. As has already been said here by others, …
After those of us with a bit too much time on our hands gave the Mirror and News of the World a bit of a run around over their “Everyone wants to leave Arsenal” campaign, they’ve retaliated twice – once with the old-fashioned “snub” standby, and now today with with Wenger clearout story. The “snub” …
Read More “Invented Arsenal stories + a rundown of all the clubs that have gone bust”
To celebrate Anorak Friday, Untold Arsenal met ex-Arsenal and ex-Blackburn superstar Aaron Fortesque Bentley, who is now knocking them in and laying them low for Hottentot Reservoirs in their crowd filled arena at Leyton Ointment. Untold Arsenal asked Mr Bentley if he was enjoying his current stint as a working foot-baller. U-A: Are you enjoying …
